Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Beau
It’s a first for me, dancing with a lady in my hotel room. Then again, so’s a lot of things I’ve done with Bailey. My hand moves to the small of her back, pressing lightly but holding her right there. I breathe in, tasting vanilla and coconut, and think how well she fits against me.
Everything she’s said makes a whole heap of sense.
I can see her as a ballerina. Her grace and poise were two of the first things I noticed about her, even when she was mad as all hell at me or had a giant chip on her shoulder.
She’d still moved like she was hearing an aria in her mind, feet lightly touching the ground.
‘I get it, you know.’ I’m tall enough that I could rest my chin on her head. I smile at our size difference and how little it matters, because Bailey gives all the attitude to compensate for being vertically challenged. She tilts her face up, a curious expression on her features.
‘After the accident, I wanted to get right back on the horse, so to speak.’
The hands she has linked behind my neck shift, so her fingers toy with the hair at my nape, sending little goosebumps of awareness over my spine.
‘I did six months of rehab, so I could join the next season. I was lucky, you know? Even though the accident was bad, the injuries rough, I recovered fully. I was young—I guess you tend to heal better.’
‘Rubber bones,’ she says, scrunching up her nose.
‘Something like that.’
Her fingernails draw invisible patterns against the sensitive skin to the side of my neck. ‘So why didn’t you?’
For a moment, a deep, abiding sense of loyalty holds me silent. My father is dead; it feels all kinds of wrong to betray our quiet, unbending arguments to someone else. Especially a journalist.
‘Off the record?’
She looks like I’ve physically pained her, but she nods slowly and says, ‘Sure. If you want.’
‘My father made it clear that it was my family and the ranch, or bull riding.’
Her step falters slightly and the grip I have on her back tightens, holding her steady. ‘Like, an ultimatum?’
‘A choice. He made it clear that I wouldn’t be welcome back on the property if I kept going.’
She frowns deeply. ‘I guess it was hard on him—on your whole family—watching you go through that.’
‘You’ve seen it?’
Her throat shifts as she swallows. ‘I think I’ve seen just about everything there is online about you,’ she admits, a hint of pink spreading through her cheeks.
‘Oh, really?’ I tease. ‘Stalker.’
‘Hey,’ she laughs, moving one arm so she can playfully punch my shoulder. ‘It’s my job.’
‘I bet you say that to all the guys you stalk.’ Something sticks in my throat though, to imagine Bailey interviewing someone else.
‘It’s my job,’ she says again, oblivious to the way a green-eyed monster is jumping around in my chest. ‘Anyway.’ She rolls her eyes for good measure. ‘You came back.’
I nod once. ‘After my old man died, I tried to keep true to his wishes. I stayed on the ranch, helpin’ Cole, putting one foot in front of the other, you know? I kept waiting for it to feel like my life, like where I was meant to be.’
‘But it never did?’
I shake my head. ‘I love it there. It’s the only place I want to be, in the future. But not now. Not when I can still be doing this.’
‘How does the rest of your family feel about it?’
‘Mad as all hell, at first. But Cole, he met this girl—woman—Beth. They’re married now.’ I smile when I think of Manhattan, my sister-in-law. ‘Like two freaking peas in a pod. I never knew Cole even had a soft side till she came along. Anyway, she got him to back off, let me go.’
‘So he’s okay with it now?’
‘He puts up with it. Barely.’
She laughs again, and I ignore how much I like it. I ignore how much I like knowing I can make her laugh, because she tries to fight that side of herself.
But when she looks up at me, something shifts in her expression and she sobers. ‘That accident was pretty bad.’
‘Yeah, I’ve seen the footage.’
‘You don’t remember it?’
‘Not really. I got a bad concussion when I hit the ground.’
‘Which time?’
I flash a grin. ‘I remember slices of it. Like quick images. The lights, the smell of clay, the sound of the crowd, the scuffle of boots, the pain, the sensation of being in the air, but it’s all kinda disjointed, like maybe it happened to someone else.’
‘It was awful.’
‘Yeah. It’s a risk.’
‘Even knowing that, you still love what you do?’
‘I don’t really feel like it’s a choice.
Just like you with ballet. It’s not what I do.
It’s who I am.’ I move my hand to push against my chest, just like she did, then drop it to her hip, holding the curve of her there.
‘One day, I know I’ll have to walk away from it, and I hope to god I find something new that makes me feel like this. ’
‘You sound sceptical.’
That’s not my intention. In fact, none of this is.
This is the kind of conversation I don’t have with anyone—except maybe from time to time with Beth, who has a way of seeing through my bullshit like no one else.
Even Ash doesn’t get deeper than skin, because I don’t want her to.
Hell, Ash is one of the people I work hard to keep outside my fences, because I know if I let her in, there’d be a risk.
I can’t say what that risk is, only I know it’s there.
So things with us were always light and easy, just like this is meant to be.
‘Anyway.’ I mentally take a step back. ‘I’ll work it out, when that day comes. Plenty of time between now and then.’
She eyes me thoughtfully but doesn’t say anything. The song slows down then stops, a pause before a new one starts. We just stand there staring at each other, my eyes locked to hers, hers not shifting away, until her whole body pulls back and her hands drop to her sides.
‘I should get going,’ she says, with a clearing of her throat.
Disappointment spears me but so does relief. It’s easier if she goes, easier if we don’t let this get bigger than Ben Hur.
‘Sure thing, darlin’,’ I say with a wink.
She reaches out and flicks my arm, her smile easy and natural. God, I love her like this. ‘I’ll be out of your hair in five minutes, cowboy.’
She turns to scoop up her clothes, and disappears into the bathroom.
I smile to myself as I take a handful of fries off her plate and push them into my mouth.
On the counter, my phone begins to ring with a FaceTime call.
When I see Cole’s name on the screen, I swipe it without thinking and ease down into the chair.
‘Hey.’
‘Hey, yourself.’ Beth’s sitting beside him, smiling and waving.
I wink at her, struggling to remember a time she wasn’t in our lives.
‘You were great today,’ Beth says. Beside her, Cole’s expression is stony, then the camera moves to pan around our familiar lounge room, all well-worn leather sofas and big-ass windows that frame views of that stunning ranch.
I feel a pang of homesickness that’s only slightly mitigated by the fact I’ll be back in a little over a week.
‘Hey, it’s the whole gang,’ I quip.
‘That bull looked tough,’ Mackenzie says, moving to sit on the edge of the armchair beside Beth.
‘Yeah, he was a piece of work alright.’
‘Not that you’d notice, with you ridin’ him,’ Mackenzie adds.
‘Wait a sec, what’s going on. Mack’s never sweet to me.’
Cole laughs. ‘Who knows? Must be trying to get in your good books.’
‘What’s that about?’ I wonder, as the bathroom door opens and Bailey steps out. I flick a smile in her direction then look back at the screen.
‘It’s always a pleasure to see y’all but it’s actually not a good time.’
‘Don’t tell me you’ve got company?’ Nash asks from behind the camera. Cole flicks it around so I’m eye to eye with my twin and his knowing smile.
I glance at Bailey again and see the way pink spreads on her cheeks. She shakes her head, clearly panicking.
‘Wouldn’t you like to know,’ I murmur smugly, giving nothing away.
‘Of course he’s got company. You know what he likes after he comes off a bull like that. He needs to ride something a little prettier,’ Austin chimes in, with a comment that’s both untrue and definitely not the kind of thing I want Bailey thinking is true.
‘Hey,’ I snap. ‘Quit it.’
‘Just kiddin’, bro,’ Austin says. But Bailey’s moving toward the door, all dressed and buttoned up. She pulls it inwards and goes to wave me off.
‘Let me call you back,’ I say, but then I hear Beth say to Cole, ‘Stop messing around and tell him already,’ which halts me in my tracks. Because if Beth needs to tell me something, it’s important.
‘We were gonna wait till you got home,’ Cole says, as the door pulls closed behind Bailey and I wrench my focus back to the screen with a serious case of barely hidden irritation. ‘But then someone accidentally uploaded something to Instagram, so the cat’s outta the bag.’
‘What cat? What bag?’
‘We wanted you to hear it from us,’ Beth insists. ‘We’re having a baby.’
I stare at the screen, at my sister-in-law, my brother and their huge, goofy smiles. ‘We are?’
‘Well, technically, we are,’ Beth corrects, then laughs. ‘No, you’re right. We all are. A little baby Donovan, coming soon—well, soon-ish—so watch this space.’
I whoop loudly into the room, so goddamn happy for them I could punch something. ‘This is fucking great news,’ I say. ‘I’m thrilled for you guys.’
‘Thanks,’ Cole says with a nod that reminds me so much of our dad I almost feel like he’s there in that moment.
‘We’re pretty pleased, too,’ Beth grins, as Mackenzie puts an arm around Beth’s shoulders. Cassidy wanders into the frame, long hair pulled over one shoulder.
‘So hurry home, you hear?’
‘You saying you miss me, Cass?’ I tease, because of all of us Donovans, Cassidy is probably the least sentimental.
‘You’re a jackass,’ she says but with an affectionate lift of her brows.
‘I’ll be home after the next event,’ I promise. ‘We’ll celebrate then, okay?’
‘You’ve got Albuquerque before Phoenix, right?’