Chapter 22 #2
Bailey and I had about three seconds to pull on our clothes before Cole and Caleb walked into the stables, making for an interesting attempt at pretending we were just shooting the breeze about the way horses are trained.
After that, we couldn’t shake them. Caleb insisted we get Bailey on a horse.
And don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t against the idea of seeing my girl—I’m just going to call her that for now, though only in my mind—on a horse’s back.
In the same way I love seeing her in jeans, I love the thought of her riding out here.
I have a sneaking suspicion, though she’d probably fight me tooth and nail, that she’d be a natural at ranch life.
A natural at living wild and free, letting herself go.
All the buttoned-up suits a thing of the past. Out of nowhere, an image of the house I’m going to build comes to mind, only Bailey’s there too, barefoot and smiling, padding around like she owns the place.
Fuck. I’m getting in too deep. I can feel the water up to my throat. It’s the last thing I want, everything I know I need to hide from. So even when I really love the thought of her staying, I’m glad as hell that we have well under a week left.
Maybe by the time Sunday night rolls around, I’ll even be ready to let her go? Just maybe we’ll have both had our fill of this, and the spell will be broken. Yeah. And pigs might fly.
‘More fries?’ Bailey says, her knee brushing mine beneath the table, so I glare at her, because she knows damn well how I’m feeling, and what she’s doing to me.
Making love like we did in the stables was hotter than the fires of hell, but it ended too damn quick, and we haven’t had a chance to so much as kiss since then.
There’s always someone around, charming her, welcoming her.
For once, I wish the Donovans were less fucking welcoming.
If I didn’t know better, I’d almost say they’d worked out that there was something going on between her and me and were doing their level best to get between us—having a laugh about it all the while.
But we’ve been too careful for that. Besides, Beth would never let Cole get away with stomping into the middle of my private life.
Nah, this is just the charm my family’s renowned for, but as much as I like seeing Bailey be folded into the mix, I also resent them like hell for taking away one of our remaining nights.
I stuff a handful of fries in my mouth and send her a perfunctory smile, hear her throaty laugh and want to shout, just to get her focus back on me. Mackenzie says something to Bailey, drawing her attention, and I scowl across the room, my eyes landing on the mechanical bull.
Some college students are standing around it, laughing and pointing, pushing one of the guys forward.
He sizes it up, glances back at a tall brunette, then moves to the bar, hands over a note.
Randy nods to someone and a second later the kid’s getting up on the bull, Buck Rogers walking out from behind the bar to the control panel, checking to see he’s ready before starting it up.
It doesn’t matter that it’s a mechanical bull.
Everything inside me tightens, just like it does at a real rodeo, just like it always does.
My blood hammers in my veins, washing through my ears, like the roar of the ocean, as I watch this kid’s body sway side to side.
The ground’s padded, I know it can’t hurt him, but once you’ve felt the real thing rushing up at you, it’s hard to let that go.
‘What’s the matter, cowboy?’ Bailey draws my gaze back to her face. ‘You’ve got that look about you.’
‘What look’s that?’
‘Like you can’t breathe till it’s over.’
I hate that she sees that about me; I hate that she’s right. I can’t ever watch one of the guys take a bull without feeling tension tighten through me. I wasn’t always like that—it’s come with age and experience.
‘He doesn’t know what he’s doing.’
She pulls a face. ‘Isn’t that kind of the point?’
I clamp my lips together. ‘Has no business being on there.’
‘It’s just a bit of fun,’ she says, banging her knee to mine.
‘Yeah.’ I force a smile. ‘It is.’
I can tell she doesn’t quite believe me. Something sparks in her eyes though, a silent challenge. ‘You know, maybe I should give it a try.’
I stare at her like she’s lost her goddamn mind. ‘I don’t think so.’ My voice comes out sharper than I intend, and just the kind of tone designed to piss her right off. Bailey James is not someone to be told what to do—she hates it, obviously.
‘What’s the matter? Don’t think I can?’
Buck slams his hand on the stop button and the bull comes to a halt, right as the student tips sideways. He looks like he’s about to be sick. I breathe out, reminding myself this is a ride, a game, that people do it half-hammered, and no one’s ever broken a bone, at least not as far as I know.
‘Be my guest.’ I step back from the challenge, hoping that takes away her need to prove something to me. ‘Don’t blame me if you puke your burger though.’
In the end, Bailey had gone with Beth’s recommendation for a chili burger rather than the pozole. Damn if just watching her eat it wasn’t the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. Warning light number three thousand explodes into my mind; I ignore it, just like I have the others.
‘Deal.’ She smiles sweetly. ‘What do you think?’ she asks Austin, across the table. ‘Reckon I can handle that bull thing?’
Austin cocks a glance over his shoulder, turns back to Bailey. I dig my nails into my thigh, hoping my jackass of a brother says the right thing here. ‘Can’t see why not. Rita Flanagan rode it for her seventieth birthday, so you should have it covered.’
Bailey bursts out laughing and jabs her elbow into my ribs. ‘And here’s Beau Donovan trying to talk me out of it.’
‘This Beau Donovan?’ Mackenzie squeaks, jerking her thumb toward me, her face a study in disbelief. ‘What’s the matter? You getting all sensible and shit in your old age?’
The table cracks up laughing, with no idea how much my age has been playing on my mind lately.
‘Don’t worry, cowboy, I’ll be fine,’ Bailey says, winking at me as she stands.
‘Wait, wait,’ Austin calls after her, and for a second I think he’s gonna undo the damage he’s caused.
‘Can’t ride without a hat.’ He holds his out to Bailey.
My jaw clenches as she reaches for it then pops it on her head.
I can hardly look at her for how much it suits her, for how right it is on her.
There’s that word again, that word I’ve got no business thinking.
I want her in my hat though, and my bed.
And I think my jackass of a brother probably knows it.
Knows what it does to me to see Bailey pull on his Stetson instead of mine.
‘Better,’ Cole says, and Beth gives an approving wink. No help there.
‘Fine,’ I mutter. ‘Let’s do this.’
Bailey’s eyes are smiling when they lock to mine and then she’s moving through the crowded bar. I flag down Randy and hand over some money.
Randy grins at Bailey, signals to Buck to stay where he is in the control booth.
‘Okay, any tips?’ she asks, as we move toward the roped-off area with the bull. The college students are standing around, looking at their phones, showing photos and video to the guy who was gutsy enough to ride.
‘Holy shit, you’re Beau Donovan,’ one of them says as I approach.
I plaster a smile on my face, impatience humming through me. ‘Yeah.’
‘Are you gonna ride that thing?’ the brunette asks.
‘Nah, not tonight.’
‘Oh, please, can you?’ one of the guys says.
I eye the bull then glance at Bailey, ignoring the college kids. ‘You’re sure about this?’
‘I’m not scared.’
I can tell she means it. And hell, she’s right not to be afraid. These things are just a bit of fun, nowhere near as mean as the real deal.
My shoulders tense anyway when I turn back to fully face her. Just the thought of something happening to Bailey sends a shiver down my spine. ‘Fine. I’ll be with Buck, so just give me a signal if you want it to stop.’
She nods, taking a step onto the air-filled flooring and bouncing, laughs, turns back to me, smiling, so my abs clench. She is so goddamn beautiful. ‘At least I know it won’t hurt to fall.’
I nod, not able to dredge up even the hint of a smile. ‘Be careful how you land, when you come off. You’re best to keep your arms tucked.’ I show her what I mean.
She rolls her eyes. ‘I’m going to be fine, Beau. You climb on the live version of this every week, multiple times a week, but you look like you’re sending me off to certain death or something. Chill,’ she adds with a wink.
I don’t ‘chill’. I move to the bull, hand on its fake head as she comes to the side. ‘Okay, leg over,’ I say, and the smoking look she throws me tells me everything about where her head’s at.
‘Not now, Bailey James,’ I growl. ‘Concentrate, you hear?’
She opens her mouth to say something, clearly thinks better of it, and scrambles onto the bull easily enough.
‘Hold here.’ I pull the rope between her legs, ignoring the rush of blood through my body.
She grabs the rope and I shake my head. ‘Not like that.’ I put my hand over hers, shifting it slightly.
‘Don’t want you breaking that pretty little wrist, or you won’t be able to write all those nice things about me. ’
Her lips flicker in a smile, but otherwise her face shows fierce concentration. ‘What else?’
‘Try not to tense up—move with the bull. Think of yourself as an extension of it—every time he moves, you let it reverberate through you, like you’re sort of one line.’
Her eyes bore into me, and she nods.
‘Keep this hand out and up,’ I say.
‘Wouldn’t holding on with both hands be better?’
‘That’s against the rules,’ I tease back, then sober. ‘But do whatever you need to feel safe.’
‘No, I want to do it properly.’
Admiration rolls through me. ‘Don’t look down, it’ll knock your balance. You wanna look here,’ I gesture between the bull’s ears then glance over at Buck. ‘We’ll start you off nice and slow.’
‘Start me off slow, if you want,’ she says. ‘But don’t treat me like a baby. I want to know what it’s like. I want to feel what you feel each week.’
A thousand emotions riot inside me. Pride in her, adrenalin at the thought of her wanting to know what I feel when I’m out there, protectiveness that makes me want to toss her over my shoulder and take her upstairs instead of letting her do this, give her something better to ride than a mechanical bull.
And to get my brother’s goddamn hat off her head and replace it with my own.
‘Okay, Bailey, you ready?’
She smiles at me slow and sweet, then nods. ‘Let’s do it.’
I step back reluctantly, off the padded flooring and across to Buck at the controls. ‘Slow, Buck,’ I say, gruffly. ‘It’s her first time.’
He nods once then hollers to Bailey, ‘You ready, ma’am?’
Bailey nods, concentration on her face. Behind the ropes, the Donovans have all lined up to watch. ‘Go, Bailey,’ Beth calls out, clapping her hands together.
‘You’ve got this,’ Mackenzie calls, in a distinctly un-Mackenzie-like burst of positivity.
Cole and Austin are grinning like idiots. Only Caleb has the sense to look pensive, watching with the same intensity I feel.
‘Okay, do it,’ I tell Buck. He moves his hand to the controller, starting her off on the easiest setting, so she rocks back and forth gently for a few seconds, before shooting a frown at me.
‘Is that all?’ she calls back. ‘A baby could handle this.’
‘I’ll take it up a bit,’ Buck says, though in a way where he’s asking for my approval, and I really don’t want to give it. But Bailey shoots me a warning glare so I lift my hand to the control, cranking it a little myself, keeping my eyes on her the whole time.
‘Keep looking straight ahead,’ I remind her. ‘Eyes front.’
She makes a squealy laughing noise as I change the bull’s direction, drops her hand for a second before shooting it back up. She rolls her hips, rocking back and forth, in time with the bull. Damn if the girl doesn’t have a natural skill, and if I don’t love seeing that.
She’s still not keeping her eyes where I told her to though; instead, she’s looking toward my family and laughing and then toward me, and even though my heart’s rammed its way into my throat, I can’t help smiling to see her smiling.
Ten seconds have passed. She lifts a hand to the hat, holding it in place, and I can only stare at the lines of her beautiful body, the glorious picture she makes out there, riding that damn pretend bull.
‘Come on, Beau, don’t go so easy on her,’ Austin calls over. ‘She can handle it.’
I clench my lips.
‘Faster?’ Buck asks.
This time I just nod, unable to look away from Bailey, or to move my hands from my side.
My whole body’s frozen, as I stare across at her.
The way her shirt’s separated from her jeans, revealing an inch or so of her tanned midriff.
Her jeans are low, and at the back, there’s the tiniest scrap of pink lace visible.
My mouth is dry, breathing raspy. When Buck turns the speed up, her ass lifts off the bull, so I take a step closer without realising it.
‘You gotta move with the bull, remember,’ I call.
She’s gonna fall off. I can see it happening seconds before it comes to pass, from the way she’s out of rhythm, the bull bucking one way, her another.
‘Tuck your arms in,’ I say, as her ass lifts off the saddle and her leg slips to the left.
I hold my breath, wondering if she’ll be able to right herself, but she slides off the side with an indignant little cry, landing on her stomach, arms on either side.
Not as I demonstrated at all. But at least the hat’s off her head, rolled clear across the mat.
The crowd cheers, my family loudest of all, but I barely hear them. I stalk across the padding, crouch down.
‘Bailey?’
She rolls onto her back, staring up at me, and smiles wide. Exhilarated.
‘You okay?’ I ask unnecessarily.
‘That was fun,’ she says. ‘I want to go again.’
My nerves stretch at the very idea. I hold out my hand, pulling her to standing with me, and when we’re close enough that my low, muttered words will reach her ears, and hers alone, I say, ‘Ain’t no way, darlin’.’
She looks at me with that combative, argumentative glare of hers, but before she can argue, I say, ‘Only thing you’re riding again tonight is me, and it’s gonna be a hell of a lot more fun than that.’