3. Ruth
Chapter three
Ruth
Ruth
T he ice in my frappe had melted by the time I worked up the courage to speak with Janice. It was probably just as bad of an idea to speak with Janice about resigning as it had been to drink a sugary frappe on an empty stomach before lunch, but here we were. I’d made both choices, and there was no going back now.
My stomach gurgled unhappily as I approached Janice’s office down the hall from mine. Although our company operated on the second floor of a corporate building, Janice had turned her personal space into a strange oasis that defied time or style. It was, quite simply, Janice . She had placed knickknacks and travel souvenirs from around the world on every available surface, and textiles in bright hues and busy patterns hung from the walls in the form of shawls, rugs, and tapestries. Soft lighting haloed her long, dark hair as she turned my way from where she stood in front of her standing desk.
Even though it was like entering a gentle counselor’s office, I couldn’t help the dread that tugged at my heart. I gave her a weak wave. “Hey.”
“Dr. Coldwell.” Janice removed her bright blue reading glasses and balanced them on her head like a headband. “How can I help you? Have you been outside today? The breeze is marvelous. I rather expect it to bring something fortuitous in its wake, don’t you?”
Janice was so nice but so weird sometimes. “Eh,” I laughed nervously. “Yeah, totally. Hey, can I talk to you?”
“Always,” Janice smiled, spreading her arm out to invite me over to the pair of padded damask chairs in the corner. Janice had a very “I eat sugarless granola” kind of vibe to her appearance, with sun-tanned wrinkles devoid of makeup and a thin build she swathed in flowing floral fabrics. Her long, gray-streaked hair hung straight down her back, and the bangles on her arm tinkled as she let her arm fall. She came to join me, and we both sat in the chairs.
I eyed a particularly creepy-looking bronze monkey statue over her shoulder before forcing my nervous gaze to settle on my boss. “I think I need to resign,” I said without preamble.
Janice lifted her peppered eyebrows to her hairline. “Oh.”
I pushed at the edge of my glasses’ rims nervously. “I really love working here. You’ve all been so welcoming, and it’s a really cool job. I just…” I felt my features crumple in defeat. “I’m really bad at it.”
“Well,” Janice said, crossing her legs and folding her weathered hands over her knee. “I am surprised to hear such a defeatist statement from you, Dr. Coldwell. It couldn’t have been easy to obtain a doctorate.”
It hadn’t been easy, but then again, I’d been good at it. Even though I’d chosen a degree that ended up being a mistake, I still excelled at academics and enjoyed the challenge. Matchmaking felt like doing a 5000-piece puzzle in the dark… with my hands tied. “I’m sorry,” I replied honestly. “I don’t mean to sound defeatist. I’m more of a realist, I think. And realistically, this is not my strong suit.”
Janice seemed to consider that, and her dark brown eyes looked up in thought. “Hm, I see. Gemma did express some concern initially. She said you might struggle to acclimate, but,” she hooked me with a direct stare, “she also believed strongly that you would eventually excel.”
My writhing insides squirmed to the point of discomfort. “I wish I could live up to what she thought of me. I really do.”
“You have a partner, don’t you?” Janice asked with a tilt of her head. “Gemma indicated that your experience with your personal relationship might make up for your professional inexperience.”
My stomach seized, cramping so hard I thought I might keel over. Gemma, what did you do ? I thought with a mental groan. “Oh, uh,” I hedged unhelpfully.
“She didn’t specify if this was a sexual partner or—”
“Husband,” I blurted suddenly. The idea that Gemma was toting me as some kind of sexual goddess with a partner made me want to sink into the ground. But then what I’d said sank into my brain, and I realized it was so much worse. A husband? Oh my God. I did not just say that.
“Husband,” Janice smiled placidly. “Wonderful. Tell me, Ruth, do your husband and you like all the same things?”
I literally did not know the answer to that question. Were we supposed to? Suddenly I felt like I was a third grader taking a calculus exam. I studied Janice’s expression, took into account what she did for a living, and tried to remember some of the things Gemma had tried to impart to me when she’d first trained me. “No?” I guessed.
“Of course not,” Janice agreed with a sage nod. “You know very well that well-matched couples do not always have the exact same interests. In fact, some of the most successful pairs have opposite interests and personalities that complement each other.”
Okay, so I’ve literally been doing the opposite of what I should have been doing. Cool, cool. “Right,” I agreed blankly.
“It’s the same with our careers,” Janice said with a gentle curve of her thin lips. “Sometimes the things that seem like the last thing we need are precisely what our soul longs for.”
“Well, maybe,” I said uncertainly.
“I am so very intrigued to meet this soulmate of yours,” Janice said with a sharp twinkle in her dark eyes.
My stomach gave another crunching lurch. “Uh, yeah. He’s… great.”
“Let’s give it until the company picnic at the end of the month,” Janice said with some finality in her voice. She stood, effectively ending our conversation. “You can bring that lovely husband of yours, and hopefully by then, some of this doubt will have resolved itself.”
I couldn’t even resign effectively. Unbelievable. “Okay,” I agreed reluctantly. “Sure, I’ll keep at it for the month.”
Janice led me to her doorway like a steady stream leading a stray twig to its inevitable destination. “I believe in you, Dr. Coldwell. And I look forward to making your husband’s acquaintance. I’m certain it will be illuminating.”
I wasn’t fired. I was screwed.