Chapter 10
brOOKLYN
We hadn’t stayed at the hotel. The idea that the foundation had even spent money for each of the committee members to have hotel rooms in case they had too much to drink was ridiculous.
But in the end, we had used that room. And we had snuck out of the building without anyone the wiser.
I’d worn my dress, pulled my hair back in a tight chignon, and Reece had my panties in his pocket. Once again, we hadn’t spoken.
Because speaking about what was going on between us would actually have to mean something, and that wasn’t what we were doing in this moment.
And now I stood in my foyer, with Reece behind me, and I felt more lost than ever.
“I didn’t mean to break down like that.”
Reece leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets. He had put his suit jacket back on, but hadn’t put on his tie. He still had a couple of buttons undone so I could see his chest and the outline of his nipple rings.
I’d always known that Reece had to be a little kinky, but the fact that both of us had piercings, tattoos, and I just had the best sex of my life, made everything a little surreal.
“You needed to.” He said it with a shrug in his voice, as if he was used to women breaking down in his arms after giving them the best orgasms of their lives.
Not that I wanted to think about him with other women.
I knew he had been with other women. Most likely countless women.
In fact I had seen him on dates with other people when I had been with Duke.
He was a father for God’s sakes. Of course he’d had sex.
He needed to learn all of those techniques somewhere.
“I’m really not good at this whole awkward morning after thing even though it’s the middle of the night. Can I get you some coffee? A whiskey? Something to bang your head against because I’m being ridiculous right now?”
Reece just shook his head, his lips quirked into a small smile as he stood up.
“No. I don’t need any of that, Brooklyn. You’re doing just fine.”
“You don’t have to placate me, you know. I do realize I’m being ridiculous.”
He shrugged. I wanted to shake him and kiss him. Seriously, something was wrong with me.
“Reece—”
He moved forward then, wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, and crushed his mouth to mine. I moaned against him, unable to breathe or even process what was happening. And then he pulled away, leaving me breathless.
“Stop overthinking.”
“You obviously don’t know me then.”
“Brooklyn.”
“No. Don’t just say my name and get growly and pretend that what just happened didn’t.”
“There’s no pretending when it comes to you. We both know that.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?” I asked, confused.
“It means what it needs to mean.”
“If you’re going to start sounding like Yoda, you can just leave. We can forget this ever happened and go back to work like we always do.”
“And how is that? When we both can’t stop looking at each other or saying the wrong fucking thing?
This was bound to happen, Brooklyn. I’ve been trying to keep my hands off of you for years.
First because you were too young, then because you were with Duke.
Didn’t matter that we worked together. I wanted you.
And I knew if I wasn’t careful, I was going to have you. ”
Just like that, the man confused me once again. Why was he so good at confusing the fuck out of me? This man. This crazy man. He never made anything easy.
“I don’t know what you’re saying, or what you’re thinking, but maybe you should just go.”
“You’re telling me to leave because I said I wanted you?”
“I don’t know, Reece. You don’t tell me anything.
You just growl and then ask me for help when it comes to Bella.
That’s all you’ve ever talked to me about.
And I don’t mind. I love that little girl.
She is the sweetest, and she’s confused and needs people.
So I’ll be her friend, but I don’t know what to do with you. ”
His hands still on the back of my neck, he cursed. Then he leaned his forehead against mine, and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do.
“Somehow that little girl is the best thing I have. The most important thing.”
“She is. She’s supposed to be. She’s your daughter.”
“She has to be the important thing.”
“I know.” My heart cracked ever so slightly. This shouldn’t be surprising. I knew the answer. I might be falling in love with Reece, but he couldn’t afford to fall in love with me.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Brooklyn.”
“Then don’t.” A simple statement that was anything but simple.
“I’m not going to forget this though. I don’t know what this is, but I can’t forget that.”
“And you think I can?” I asked, tears filling my throat.
“I know you can’t.” That cocky smirk on his face made me want to either kick him in the balls or kiss him. There really was no in-between when it came to Reece Fox.
He took a step back, leaving me just as confused as ever. Damn this man. And damn my hormones.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen. But can you ever?”
“No. You can’t. I think that’s the whole point of living.”
“Astute.”
“Are you making fun of me?”
“No, Brooklyn. I’m not. But I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. We both know this is the wrong time for this.” Another kick to the heart. “But I don’t want to stop.”
“Oh.”
He raised a brow as he looked at me. “Yeah. Oh. I don’t want to stop. Meaning I probably should. But I’m not going to.”
“Reece—”
“No. Don’t speak. My hands on you tonight? That’s what we both wanted. The way that those people treated you tonight and how they always have? Fuck them. They don’t matter anymore. But I don’t know what’s going to happen next, Brooklyn. All I know is that I want you, and I know you want me.”
“Cocky much?”
“Considering I just had my cock buried balls deep inside you, you know the answer to that.”
“Reece.”
“What? Did you think I was a sweet, innocent kid who was going to be gentle with you? We both know that’s not what you wanted. You might’ve had boys before, but I’m a fucking man, Brooklyn. And yes, we fucked, and I want to do it again. But I’m not a nice man.”
“That’s a lie.”
“You want it to be a lie. But it’s not. I might be a good man sometimes, but I’m not a nice one.
Because a nice man would walk away knowing that there could be nothing between us.
Not when I don’t know what’s going to happen with Bella.
Her damn grandparents could change their mind before everything is through. ”
“Are you saying being with me could hurt your chances?” I asked, my heart breaking.
“The problem is I don’t know. And I don’t know what to do if wanting you is going to hurt your relationship with Bella. Already, I’m relying on you too fucking much.”
“I’ll always be there for her. No matter what.”
“And the sad thing is I believe you, Brooklyn. Even if I break you, even if I leave you shattered in the tub like you were tonight, I know you’ll be there for her. And that’s what makes me a selfish asshole.”
I leaned forward, reaching out, but he took a step back, leaving ice between us.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“There isn’t anything to say. So how about this, I’m going to go, and I’ll see you at work.”
“So this was a one-off thing? We’re going to go back to normal?”
“There’s never been normal between us, Brooklyn, and that’s a problem. But I have to think of Bella. And I can’t be selfish.”
“Being with me would be selfish?”
“Wanting you the way that I do is selfish. I’m an old man, Brooklyn.”
“You’re forty-one, Reece. You’re not ancient.”
“Well, I feel like an old man. And I don’t see nights of random nameless women in my future. I don’t know what that future is, but before Bella, I thought—” He shook his head, not finishing his sentence, and it was as if a cavern opened up between us.
I was terrified that I was the one in his thoughts in that moment. The one that he wanted when he thought he was ready.
“You should go then.”
“If I go now though, it won’t be forever. We both know it can’t be.”
“Make up your mind, Reece. Do you want me?”
“Of course I do. I wouldn’t have fucked you and threatened to ruin everything that we already have if I didn’t. I just don’t know if I can promise you everything you deserve.”
I froze, knowing that was the best thing, the most sincere thing he could have said.
“Okay. Okay. Then go, and we don’t have to talk about forever in this moment. As long as Bella is number one, I won’t hate you in the morning.” I tried to smile as I said it. He moved forward and brushed his lips against mine. My knees almost went weak, and I hated myself for it.
“I don’t want this to be a mistake,” he whispered against my lips.
“Then we don’t make it one. We can be adults about this.”
“I’m a jealous man, Brooklyn.”
“And?”
“I can’t picture you with anyone else.”
“Do you really think I would sleep with anyone else? It took every ounce of my soul in order to give myself to you, Reece Fox.”
“You have no idea what that does to me.”
“Then I better be the only one in your bed. If we ever get there.”
“Damn straight.” He kissed me again, then took a step back.
“I’m going to go, before making another mistake.”
“Another?” I asked, my voice hollow.
“Waiting so fucking long was my first.” And with that, he left me standing in my entryway, alone, faded, and yet empty at the same time.
That seemed like the perfect description of everything that it meant to be me and Reece.
“Did you hear that the Franklins have decided to sell?” my mom asked as I sat on their couch, knees under my chin, and a glass of wine in my hand.
My eyes widened at that.
“Really? Why?”