Chapter 36
Hunter
I find myself unable to look away from her.
To move.
But I have to.
I pull out slowly, my eyes fixed on the way my cum slips out of her, and it brings out every possessive instinct I have.
Before I can think better of it, I press two fingers back inside her, not wasting a single drop.
Then I pull them back out, coated in both her and me, and lift my hand towards her lips.
“Suck them clean.”
She blushes.
And something about it completely hooks me.
She hesitates for only a second before obeying, her lips close around my fingers, her tongue slides over them slowly, and I watch every second of it.
Pure perfection.
This woman.
I’m hard again, and fuck, it takes everything in me not to push my cock back inside her.
And somehow, I manage.
Barely.
I slowly pull my fingers from her mouth, but not before pushing them in deep and making her gag.
She swats my hand away, and I have to suppress a smile.
For a moment, she looks at me.
Something close to guilt, perhaps, crosses her face before her eyes leave mine and wander around the room, as though searching for something.
A way out.
I know without a doubt that she’s about to run.
“Stop.”
My voice breaks through the panic that rises with each passing second.
Just seeing her like this does something to me.
And I’d like to believe I don’t care about her distress.
What I care about is that I want her.
I need her to stop fighting me and just give in.
To let me have what I want.
Except that’s a lie.
Because, as fucked up as it is—and as contrary to my nature as it is—I hate seeing her like this.
I don’t want her afraid.
Actually, I want to put whoever made her feel this way six feet under.
Her eyes lift to mine, and all I see is fear.
Fucking fear.
And we’re alone. No one here to witness anything.
So this panic is probably because she keeps telling me to stay away from her, yet she just let me fuck her brains out.
“You’re spiralling,” I say as I take a step closer. “Don’t.”
She shakes her head, still unable to take a full breath.
“Hunter… this was—”
I silence her before she can finish, pressing a finger lightly to her lips.
“A mistake. I know.”
I say the words before she can.
And fuck me, did those words actually hurt?
Me.
They hurt me.
Maybe it’s my pride because nobody has ever refused me.
But I know that’s not it.
Not really.
What hurts is her not wanting this.
Not wanting me.
Us.
I’ve never been hurt a day in my life.
I’ve never cared enough about anything to let it hurt me.
Yet here I am.
And why the fuck do I still want her when she’s made it abundantly clear she wants nothing to do with me?
There are millions of women in the world.
I could have any one of them.
Yet the only one I want is the one who keeps pushing me away.
The sensible thing would be to let this go.
Leave her to her life and be done with it.
Except I can’t.
I’m too set on her now, and I don’t see myself free of her hold any time soon.
If ever.
Her jaw tenses at my touch.
“It was a lapse in judgement,” she says, the words forced and brittle.
The thing is, I know she doesn’t believe a word of it.
But she says it anyway, and that angers me more than it should.
When the fuck did I become like this?
So attached, unable to let go.
I don’t recognise myself.
Still, I can’t seem to do a fucking thing about it.
“You don’t believe that,” I say. “And neither do I.”
She looks at me, but says nothing.
I close the distance between us and lift her chin until her eyes meet mine.
I can’t bloody believe the words about to leave my mouth.
“We’ll keep it quiet. If that’s what you need. No one has to know.”
The suggestion leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Because it’s wrong.
I know it’s wrong.
But if this is the only way to have her, I’ll fucking take it.
I don’t want to hide her.
What I want is the exact opposite.
I want everything.
For fuck’s sake, I actually mean it.
When did she get this far under my skin?
She shakes her head. “We can’t. Not even in secret,” she whispers.
“Yes, we can,” I fire back.
She doesn’t answer immediately.
Instead, she shoves me aside and hops off the table. Then she reaches for her dress and pulls it over her body, covering herself as if she can put distance between us one piece at a time.
I bend to retrieve my discarded shorts and pull them on.
And when she finally looks at me again, she looks... fragile.
Vulnerable in a way that twists something tight in my chest.
This woman has me tied in knots.
I find myself carrying emotions I’ve gone twenty-eight years without ever feeling.
“If you knew the truth, you wouldn’t want this. Want me. So stop, because if I let this go on, the hatred at the end will only be worse, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to bear it,” she says quietly.
Fuck if I know what to make of the words coming out of her mouth.
She talks in riddles.
But I gather there’s some huge secret she’s desperate to keep buried, and she’s convinced that once I learn the truth, I’ll hate her.
Unlikely.
Nothing can make me hate her.
I’m turning into Milo fucking Markev with these trains of thought.
I suppose this is what happens when someone gets under your skin.
A fucking useless thing to feel.
A weakness, really.
“We’ll talk about this later,” I say, my jaw tight.
Not finished with this conversation.
Not by a bloody mile.
I lean in and claim her lips once more.
The kiss is brief. Then I turn to my locker and pull on my clothes.
“I’ll take you back to the academy.”
“You don’t have to,” she begins. “I came with Adelaide—”
“I’ll take you back,” I repeat, leaving no room for argument. “Reyes is with Isaak. She’ll be fine.”
She hesitates before giving a small nod, though the reluctance doesn’t entirely leave her face.
“Okay. I’ll text Adelaide and let her know.”
I pull on my hoodie and trainers, ready in record time. The shower can wait until I’m back in my room.
Because I’ve got a feeling that if I keep her here much longer, she’ll bolt.
“Let’s go.”
I hold out my hand to her.
She stares at it for a moment, and the hesitation in her eyes immediately grates on my nerves.
I understand she’s hiding something. I understand that whatever secret she carries has her convinced that keeping her distance is somehow the right thing to do.
That doesn’t stop it from pissing me the fuck off.
Eventually, she places her hand in mine, and damn if that simple touch doesn’t do something ridiculous to me.
I’ve never held hands with anyone before, never saw the point of it, and now I’m the one reaching for her.
A pathetic state of affairs, really.
Hand in hand, we make our way to the door, and I pull it open.
The second she tries to pull her hand from mine, I tighten my grip and keep hold of it.
“We’ll use the back exit,” I say. “No one will see us.”
She doesn’t try again as we walk in silence.
My mind, however, is anything but quiet.
Tonight was supposed to help me blow off steam. Beat a man within an inch of his life and regain some semblance of control.
Instead, I lost it.
Something that hasn’t happened in a very long time.
And I blame the redhead who occupies my thoughts day and night.
Now I’m even more wound up than before, especially after I thought that, at last, I’d have her.
In secret, perhaps, but she’d be mine.
Instead, she’s frightened.
Hiding something.
Which means I need to dig deeper.
Because one way or another, I’ll get the truth.
And eventually, Piper Ashthorne will be mine.
All of her.