Chapter Forty-One Lee
Chapter Forty-One
Lee
The next day, before I take her to her first ballet class, Nico and I sit Phoebe down to talk to her about the change in our plans.
‘Bee,’ Nico begins, following our decision for him to take the lead, ‘Lee and I want to talk to you about something.’
‘’Sup?’ Phoebe asks, slurping at the carton of chocolate milk I’ve handed her.
‘Over the past couple of weeks, Lee and I have been spending a lot of time together,’ Nico continues mechanically, delivering the short speech the two of us sweated bullets over.
‘And we’ve realised we have feelings for each other that go beyond friendship.
We want to be a real couple. We love each other. ’
Phoebe’s eyes move from her dad to me and back again. ‘Duh.’
Of all the potential responses I forced Nico to workshop with me, duh had not made the list.
‘What do you mean… duh?’ Nico asks.
I am watching her very closely for any signs of emotional distress, but there’s nothing. She just gives a one-shouldered shrug that looks like a gesture Nico would make.
‘Like it’s a surprise?’ Phoebe continues, observing us with genuine perplexity. ‘You’ve been in love for ages.’
‘We have?’ Nico says, dazed, and I don’t even mind how unromantic this answer is because I am feeling equally thrown.
‘Yeah. Everyone knows.’
‘Everyone?’ I repeat.
Phoebe considers for a moment. ‘Nana says your auras are blended together, but even if you can’t see your auras it’s so obvious.’ Phoebe takes another thoughtful sip on her drink. ‘Plus, I totally Parent Trapped you.’
Again, none of this is going to plan. I eye the notebook in front of me where I had jotted down some potential concerns and talking points. ‘I don’t think I’ve heard “Parent Trap” used as a verb before,’ I say cautiously. ‘What does it mean?’
‘You know,’ Phoebe waves her hand airily in the air. ‘I made you come here, and then I made you both go on dates and hold hands and stuff. Didn’t you notice that I kept playing “Kiss the Girl” from The Little Mermaid on the kitchen speaker?’
‘I just thought you were really into The Little Mermaid,’ I admit.
Phoebe shakes her head. ‘Sebastian says it’s all about creating the mood.’
‘Who’s Sebastian?’ I ask, lost.
‘He’s the lobster from the film.’ Nico sounds distant, and I bet – like me – he’s rethinking every interaction we’ve had with Phoebe over the last couple of weeks.
‘Sebastian is actually a crab,’ Phoebe corrects him.
‘Okay, putting aside the fact that you schemed to bring us together using a talking crab as your mentor for a moment…’ Nico rubs a hand over his face. ‘You’re saying you feel okay about it? I know it’s another big change and you’ve had plenty of those lately.’
Phoebe traces a little circle on the table in front of her with her finger. ‘I think it’s cool. Does that mean Lee is going to stay?’
She looks so hopeful and all the air squeezes in my chest. Nico and I exchange a glance.
‘I can’t stay, Phoebe. I have to go back to London because of Gran and my job.’
Her face falls, and even though I told myself I’d been braced for tears or shouting, seeing her look unhappy is an absolute killer. Oh god, is this what it’s like being Nico? No wonder he’s so terrified of hurting her. I feel like a monster.
‘But I’m going to call all the time and come and visit as much as possible,’ I press on, my mouth dry. ‘I hope you’ll come to London, too, in the holidays and stay with me.’
‘With you and Gran?’ Phoebe looks up.
I swallow. ‘Yes. At our house.’
‘Will she bake me cookies? Will she make a den for me? Will we have tea at the Ritz?’ Her words fall over themselves, and I should be happy that she’s excited, but this line of questions presses on another tender part of my heart.
‘I’m sure she’ll be happy to do all of those things,’ Nico breaks in, and under the table his hand is on my knee, his leg pressed against mine. We’re in this together.
‘The most important thing,’ he continues, ‘is that you know we’re here for you. If you have any questions. If you’re worried. If you need to talk about anything, you can talk to us.’
Phoebe’s lashes flicker as she glances at me. ‘We can talk?’ she asks. ‘Even when you’re not here?’
The lump in my throat is back, but I force a bright smile. ‘I’m going to insist on it,’ I reply. ‘I want to hear all your news, and you know your dad can’t be relied upon to keep me up to date on town gossip.’
She cracks a small smile. ‘Yeah. That’s true. Okay.’ She shakes off the entire conversation as only an eight-year-old can. ‘Can we go to ballet now?’
‘So that went well, right?’ I ask Nico later as I finish cleaning my face in the bathroom. ‘She seemed fine? She definitely had a good time at ballet so I guess she wasn’t totally traumatised.’
I come back through the door and find he’s stretched out on the bed, in his jeans and the fisherman-fantasy jumper, one hand behind his head on the pillow.
He looks tired, and I know he’s working hard to get the final touches in place at the inn – he’d gone back when I took Phoebe to ballet and stayed until late.
‘It went well,’ he agrees, looking up as I stand beside him. ‘I mean apart from the part where my daughter revealed she’s playing 3D chess with my love life. Not sure what the correct parental response is to that.’
I try not to smile. ‘At least she’s using her powers for good.’
He reaches out, his hand brushing under the hem of my pyjama top, stroking along my hip. It’s an affectionate touch, a touching-me-just-because-he-can touch, and it still makes my whole body go haywire.
‘Uh oh,’ he laughs. ‘Horny eyes.’
‘I do not have horny eyes!’
I definitely do, but it is impolite of him to comment on them.
Taking my hand, he tumbles me down into his lap and presses a line of soft kisses along my neck. ‘You have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen,’ he murmurs against my skin. ‘I want to take photographs of your eyelashes.’
I shiver into his touch. ‘Of my eyelashes?’
He draws back for a moment, and now I know what he meant by horny eyes. ‘Of all of you.’
‘Okay,’ I manage eloquently.
We’re interrupted by the shrill ring of my phone and I squirm on Nico’s lap to reach for it on my side of the bed. He lets out a pained hiss.
‘Sorry, sorry,’ I mutter. ‘I have to check.’
It might be Gran, I don’t say, but he knows what I mean.
I look at the phone screen. ‘Oh.’
‘Oh?’ Nico lifts a brow, tugs my wrist so that he can see. ‘Adrian,’ he reads the name.
‘I don’t know why he’s calling,’ I say, flustered. ‘I’ll just…’ I go to decline the call, but Nico stills the movement.
‘Answer it,’ he says mildly.
‘What?’
He gives me his wolf smile. The one I know means trouble, but he only shrugs. ‘Answer it.’
‘Okay,’ I reply slowly, but when I try to stand up he holds my hip, my back pressed firmly to his chest.
‘Answer it, Lee.’ This time the words have that edge of command to them that makes everything inside me feel heavy and liquid.
Rattled, I press the accept button. ‘Hello,’ I say into the phone.
‘Lee!’ Adrian’s voice is in my ear, as Nico brushes the hair gently back from the side of my neck, pressing his lips there. ‘I wasn’t sure if I’d manage to get hold of you. I’m in New York for work, and I was hoping we could meet up.’
The words take a long time to reach me, because Nico’s other hand is trailing over my thigh, his fingers tracing lazy figure-eights across my bare skin, and my nerves snap and spit like a freshly lit sparkler.
‘I – I’m not in New York,’ I manage. ‘I’m in Maine.’
‘Maine?’ Adrian echoes, and Nico feathers kisses down the side of my throat. I finally gather my senses enough to try and bat him away, but he only laughs softly.
‘What are you doing in Maine?’ Adrian asks.
‘Tell him what you’re doing, Daisy.’ Nico’s hand skates up higher, his fingers play under the hem of my pyjama shorts.
I try to move from his lap, but his other hand holds me firmly in place and all I succeed in doing is grinding against his erection. Both of us freeze for a second, and when he returns to his unhurried exploration of my neck, tasting my skin with his tongue, I have to bite back a whimper.
‘Lee?’ Adrian says, and I scramble for coherent thought.
‘I’m visiting friends,’ I temporise, and Nico lets out a rumble of disapproval. His teeth scrape across my collarbone and I almost jump.
‘Oh,’ Adrian huffs out a sigh. ‘That’s disappointing, but we can grab dinner when you’re back.’
‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea,’ I reply.
‘Why not?’
With a Herculean effort I organise my thoughts. ‘Because we broke up?’
Adrian laughs. ‘Oh, that. I thought you’d have realised that was a mistake by now.’
Nico has finally gone still underneath me.
The pompous certainty in Adrian’s voice makes me frown. ‘No,’ I try to sound apologetic, ‘I don’t think it was a mistake.’
‘Why not?’ He seems genuinely mystified. ‘There isn’t any reason for us to break up. We’re very good together.’
‘I’m sorry, Adrian.’ I close my eyes, because I’m so rubbish at this. ‘I don’t think we’re right for each other. I should have said something sooner. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you or lead you on.’
‘You’re saying you don’t want to get back together?’ He sounds put out. ‘Look, I’m willing to overlook this whole… incident. Clearly, you’ve been under some pressure at work and you’re not thinking clearly.’
I’m trying very hard to hold onto my empathy for him, but it’s a struggle. His persistence is all the more confusing because our relationship was so… tepid.
Shit. Gran was right. Maybe not about everything, but she was definitely right about this.
As if echoing my thoughts, Nico huffs a laugh. ‘This guy?’ he says, and he nuzzles the skin behind my ear. ‘Put him out of his misery, baby. Tell him.’
‘I—’ I start, and Nico’s hand slips up, under my T-shirt, his thumb brushing over my nipple. ‘I’m married!’ I blurt.
‘You’re what?’ Adrian asks, shocked.
‘And?’ Nico hums. Unthinking, I rock in his lap, and he draws in a sharp breath, but drops the hand under my T-shirt back to my hip, holding me still. He nips my earlobe. ‘Not yet,’ he reprimands me softly, and his voice is top-shelf whisky, caressing my senses. ‘You know how to get what you want.’
‘And…’ I take a breath, ‘my husband doesn’t share.’
Nico takes the phone from my hand and hangs it up before throwing it across the bed.
‘I can’t believe you did that,’ I say as I slump back against his chest. The words are airless. I know I should be annoyed, but my brain is so confused, at cross-purposes with my body, which is lit up with pleasure.
Particularly when Nico pushes my pyjamas roughly aside and slides a finger inside me. I gasp, a shocked sound mingling disbelief and desire. He makes a noise of approval, deep in his chest at finding me so ready for him.
‘No pretending anymore, Daisy.’ His voice is low, as I ride his hand, and I can feel him hard and ready underneath me. ‘We’re in this for real. You and me. Only you and me.’
My head lolls back against his shoulder, and I’m sure there are things I should be saying, things about domineering, bossy men not being in charge of me, but I’ll have to do that later, I’m not convinced there are two working brain cells in my head right now.
I’m too focused on the touch of his hand, his mouth on the tender skin underneath my jaw, the warm, golden feeling in my abdomen, and the tendrils of slow heat spreading through my limbs.
‘Say it, Lee.’ His thumb flickers over my clit as I grind in his lap, and I whine with need. ‘Only you and me.’
‘Only you and me,’ I whisper, and then I come apart.