Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
FRANKIE
O h boy, good times. Danny and I walk into the kitchen to find not only Nate and Shelby, but also Cam and Ava. And not one of them, not even Cam, is pretending they don’t know exactly what went on last night.
“I’ll make double the amount of eggs,” says Shelby, beaming from ear to ear. “Figure you’ll be extra hungry after all that ‘ dancing ’.”
She makes air quotes with her fingers because of course she does. It’s a wonder she doesn’t also jiggle her eyebrows like Groucho Marx.
Even Nate is grinning. I realize I’d expected him to disapprove of our – my – flakiness, but I suspect the Durant siblings relish any opportunity to get one over each other. I’m trying not to look at Danny but I can’t help one glance to see how he’s taking all this. He’s got his poker face on, which means he’s doing better than I am, but I’m not sure he’ll be able to keep it intact. I can see Ava’s itching to pile on in.
“It’s that house,” she says. “It’s so small, you can’t help getting horny for each other. I mean, Cam and I were at it within minutes,” Ava persists. “Maybe it’s the way the wood smells. It’s like a timber aphrodisiac.”
Cam leans back and raises his eyes to the ceiling, like he’s praying for some kind of natural disaster, a meteor strike perhaps, to intervene and make it stop.
Nate’s not happy, either. “Must you?” he protests. “This is only one step away from talking about our parents having sex.”
“Well, I hate to break it to you , ” says Ava, “but that’s how they came to have five children.”
“Doesn’t mean I have to think about it,” says Nate. “Change of subject.”
And he turns to me, damn him. “How did Danny acquit himself with the Lindy Hop moves?”
I tell the truth. “Danny’s a natural.”
“Oh, you’ll have to show us!” says Shelby, eagerly, from by the bench where she’s cracking eggs into a bowl.
“That will not happen in our lifetime,” I tell her.
I’m thinking the subject is closed, but it seems Nate’s not done with me. “So, I assume the plan’s now void?”
“What plan?” says Ava.
Do she and Cam have to be here?
“Frankie concocted a plan for her and Danny to share in each other’s top four hobbies.” Nate is showing no mercy and I will not forget it. “So, they could get to know each other better before becoming … more intimate.”
“I like that plan,” says Ava to me. “It failed its Beta testing but it was still a sound idea. You need more than scorching sexual compatibility for a great relationship. Isn’t that right?” She pats Cam on the shoulder.
“No comment,” says Cam. “Nate invited us here to talk about the crush, and call me crazy, but I was kind of hoping that would be the main subject. Seeing as I have to get to work soon.”
That’s a big sentence for Cam and an unusually assertive one. I guess, being with Ava, he’s been forced to come out of his shell. Not that I’ve thought about this much, but if Cam was going to end up with any woman, I’d always assumed she’d be like him, a quiet working-class girl who grew up scratching a living on a farm. Rich, mouthy Ava Durant could not be more opposite to that.
But despite Cam’s small display of tetchiness, he’s smiling lovingly at Ava. I suddenly realize that he’s happy with her and feel a weird twinge in my gut that I can’t easily identify. Part of me is glad that he finally found the right person, and part of me is still resentful that he took Mom’s attention away for so long. Part of me really wants what he and Ava have: an equal, loving, well-grounded relationship. Although I had an amazing time with Danny last night, it’s not been enough time for me to feel like I properly trust him yet. Damn it. I should have stuck to the plan. Emotional turbulence has a lot to answer for.
Shelby calls from the kitchen. “Eggs are ready! Come and get ’em!”
We form an orderly queue for toast and eggs. Shelby has made a batch just for me because not everyone likes their scrambled eggs without a single hint of moisture.
“And there’s coffee on the stove,” Shelby adds. “Help yourselves.”
Danny is the only one who takes up the offer. He selects the largest mug and fills it to the brim. The steam from it coils like cartoon vapor emanating from a lethal potion.
“Mm-mm,” he says, taking a sip. “That’s a cure for male pattern baldness right there.”
When Danny and I came in, we went straight to opposite ends of the table, before realizing that it was pointless to pretend that we hadn’t been together all night. Now, Danny pulls out the chair right next to me.
“I’m happy to keep the plan going, by the way,” he murmurs so only I can hear. “If you are?”
Am I happy to keep going? Or do I want to use this “failure” as an excuse to back away and stay safe? That’s what tends to happen when I feel vulnerable, and there’s nothing like a whole bunch of people judging you over breakfast to make you feel exposed.
But if I give up, then what do I lose? Even if Danny and I don’t have a future together, we have this month. And if I say “yes” to pushing on with the plan, then I have a bunch of things to look forward to. Okay, not hiking, but I could make sure it’s a short hike.
“It’s your turn to pick an activity,” I say.
Danny gives me a wide smile that’s got more than a hint of surprise in it. Guess he expected that I would back out. Is that down to me and my commitment issues, or is he a little less self-confident than he appears?
“Go karting,” Danny says. “Indoors. How about I book us a slot for an upcoming weekend?”
“You’re going go karting?” Ava has the ears of a lynx. “Be careful. Danny gets so competitive he’s been known to shunt even his own family off the track.”
“The only family member I shunted was you,” says Danny. “And that’s because you were weaving in front of me, refusing to let me pass.”
“It’s supposed to be a fun, friendly activity, not NASCAR,” says Ava. “Another example of poor sportsmanship on your part.”
Danny’s holding his fork in a dangerous manner. “On my part?”
“Ahem,” I say. “Remember the jar. No insults allowed.”
“And maybe now we could discuss what we came here for,” says Cam. “Nate? The crush?”
“Right, yeah, the crush,” says Nate, slowly. Whatever’s on his mind is weighing heavily.
“What I wanted to run by you all,” he says, “is whether we should have the big party this year or hold off because Shelby might be giving birth in the middle of it. Well, she’ll be in hospital, but you know what I mean.”
“You can’t hold off,” says Shelby, immediately. “It’s been a community event for ever. Everybody loves it, and everybody comes.”
I get the feeling they’ve already talked about this and not come to any agreement, hence Nate bringing in the rest of us.
“They come because of you,” says Nate. “The way they came because of your dad. And if you’re having a baby, I’ll be with you, and so will your mom and”—he glances at me—“whoever else in your family can be there. There’ll be no Armstrongs at the crush at all.”
“But everyone will still want to help out.” Shelby’s not giving in easily. “Jordan, Chiara, and Ava have already started making plans for it. They’ll be so disappointed. Won’t you, Ava?”
“A little,” says Ava. “But I’m family, too, and Jordan and Chiara are your two best friends. We’ll all want to be there for the birth, so I’m not sure who’d be running the event.”
“I’m not sure that many people can fit in a birthing suite,” says Nate. “Or in the hospital waiting room. You might have to set up a marquee in the parking lot.”
“Argh.” Shelby claps her hands over her face, then peers at us over the tips of her fingers. “Okay! But can we please keep planning until we absolutely have to pull the plug. I don’t think I could bear it if we could have had a party but didn’t just because of me.”
Nate looks around the table. We all either shrug or nod.
“All right,” he says. “Crush is on until we make the call. But we’ll have to warn everyone that it might not happen, otherwise there’ll be a community uprising.”
“We’ll handle that,” says Ava. “Jordan, Chiara, and me. We’ll spread the word and calm any ruffled feathers.”
“You’ve never calmed a ruffled feather in your life!” protests Danny. “You’re the one who causes the ruffling!”
“Name in the jar, Danny,” I say.
“It’s the truth!” Danny objects.
“Also an unprovoked personal attack,” I say, firmly. “Name in the jar.”
Danny gives me a look like I should be on his side. But I’m standing firm. About this, at least. He writes his name on a slip of paper with bad grace and shoves it in the jar.
“One each for you and me,” says Ava, delighted. “Game on!”
“Okay – time to go to work.” Cam stands up and starts collecting plates. “Thanks for breakfast, Shelby.”
“Thank you, Shelby,” we chorus.
Danny’s pulled out his phone, probably so he doesn’t have to look up and say goodbye to his sister, who’s being hustled out the door by Cam. I sympathize, but he’s got to stop letting Ava rile him up.
Like I have to stop letting Mom rile me up, which she does even when she’s hundreds of miles away. Can’t be a hypocrite now, can I? Although, as we all know, advice is a lot easier to give than to receive.
Nate’s asking Shelby to go and sit down, saying he’ll deal with the dishes. She wraps her arms around him and hugs him tight, or as tight as her baby bump will allow. He kisses her tenderly and then tells her to scoot and take a load off. She heads towards us, her whole face aglow with love. I feel that weird twinge in my gut again. My sister’s so happy, and she’s about to become a mother. I can only begin to imagine what that must feel like. Exhilarating and terrifying, peaceful and chaotic, overwhelming and purposeful – all the contradictory emotions all at once.
I glance at Danny to see that he’s also watching Nate and Shelby. Maybe thinking the same thoughts as I am? Or maybe I’m the only person who struggles this much trying to work out what I want from life?
“So, what are you two planning for today?” says Shelby, as she joins us again at the table. “Nate and I have to go into Martinburg for my check-up, so that’s our fun time sorted.”
Danny says, “As it happens, I’ve just got a message from a guy outside of Verity who’s got a car I might want to buy. Thought I might head out there mid-afternoon, maybe stop off for a quick drink at The Silver Saddle on my way back.”
He looks my way. “Want to come with me?”
His mouth’s curved in a small hesitant smile, and I sense an olive branch being offered. Unlike me, Danny doesn’t stay mad for long. Suddenly, I realize why. Danny’s instinct is always to connect, whereas mine is always to separate and create distance. Emotional and physical.
Weirdly, knowing this makes me want to say “yes” all the more. In fact, I’m alarmed by how much I want to go with him.
I check with Shelby. “Is that alright with you? I’ll be back for our Gilmore Girls binge-watch. And how about I bring burgers home, seeing it’s my turn to cook?”
“Promise?” she says. “It’ll be the only thing I have to look forward to all day.”
My sister is another one whose instinct is to connect. That’s why she never hides her emotions. And it must be because mine are churning around in my internal blender that I have a rush of love for her. I’m so lucky to have Shelby as my sister and so grateful that she asked me to be here with her. If she hadn’t, I’d never have had this opportunity with Danny. Shelby’s always claimed our mom is a little witchy, but I suspect she’s the one with special powers.
“Cross my heart,” I say. “And I’ll make sure Brendan makes your burger with your favorite spicy pickle.”