Chapter 53
Chapter Fifty-Three
FRANKIE
J avi has us all lined up like we’re soldiers about to go on a route march. Which is how we’ll feel after a long night of hand picking. Not every vineyard harvests at night, but when the days are hot and long, the cool of night is easier on workers, and better for the grapes. Dad always preferred it, and Shelby and Nate have kept up the practice. We get bright lights brought in, and work our way down the vines, snipping off bunches and placing them carefully in baskets. When the baskets are full, we lug them down to empty them in the bigger containers at the end of the vines. When those are full, one of Javi’s team takes them away on a tractor and loads them onto the truck that’ll transport them to the winery. The grapes spend time in their skins before they’re crushed – the next big day on our calendar. But let’s get this one over with first.
I remember the last time I picked grapes for Dad. Shelby and I were the only Armstrong kids on the crew. Our older brothers, Jackson and Tyler, had other commitments, namely full-time jobs in different states. I envied them. I was about to start community college, and I remember cursing the fact that the year didn’t begin before harvest. I’m no shirker, so I put my back into the picking, but I resented every minute of it.
Looking back, I wish I’d chosen better. Dad and Mom always made harvest a fun time, with a lot of laughter, spurred on by Dad’s bad jokes and his irrepressible positivity. He was probably worrying how the hell we’d pay all the workers who weren’t family, but he never let on. And Mom was always right there, feeding us tasty snacks, keeping us hydrated. She’d cook up a feast for the after-harvest breakfast. Javi always recruited people who were great to be around. I could have enjoyed myself, but I chose not to. What a pain in the ass I was back then. Sorry, fam.
Tonight, I’m here with Cam, Doug, Javi’s team, and Danny. Nate’s been put under house arrest, as Danny calls it. Shelby may have a cesarean planned but babies notoriously do not give a shit what your plans are, so Nate has to stay home, just in case. Mom’s been given a reprieve, too. She and Danny shopped for the food, but seeing how tired Mom still was, Danny gave Javi a call, and his wife, Valentina, has taken charge of our kitchen. If you think Javi runs the harvest like a military operation, you should see Valentina in action. Like a whirlwind with knives. Mom and Nate are hiding out in the rest of the house. Even Ava is too scared to pop in and see how it’s going.
Javi’s finished his pep talk, which is basically a list of what not to do or else. Like I said, Javi isn’t a big guy but you’d never cross him. We start to make our way down the vines, and I feel strangely pleased when I realize I know exactly what I’m doing. After an eight-year break, I thought I’d be rusty, but it’s all coming back. The feel of the grape bunches in my hand, silky and heavy. The clean snip of the shears. The satisfaction of removing any rotten fruit or insects before I place the bunches in the basket. The musty smell of ripe grapes, earth and leaves, and the bite of cooler air on my face as the night settles in. The sky above is clear and every time I glance at it, more stars have appeared, like someone’s up there shaking cosmic salt.
We work one side of the vine rows each. I’m back to back with Cam, whose slow, steady pace is exactly right for this job. Over the other side of me is Danny. The vines are too tall for us to see over the top, but we catch glimpses of each other through the leaves. Mostly, I see Danny frowning with concentration. Probably because he’s back to back with Javi, who has eagle eyes, and Danny does not want to make a mistake.
I should let him focus, but instead, I hiss through the gap, “Are you getting the hang of it?”
“Shit!” I make him jump, and his hand holding the shears darts forward. Luckily, not too far, or I might have been stabbed through the heart.
“Uh, I think so,” he says, when he recovers. “These purply round things are grapes, right?”
“Funny.” I see his teeth flash white in a grin. “Are you remembering to pick out the bad ones?”
“The bad ones? What did they do? Mug an old lady?”
“Wow, you’re on fire tonight,” I say. “Thought my dad told the worst jokes, but yours are right up there.”
“I will treasure that compliment,” says Danny. “How bad, exactly, were your dad’s jokes?”
Javi, who has lynx ears as well as eagle eyes, turns around, grinning. “What did the grape say when it was squashed?”
The night is so quiet that everyone hears him.
“Nothing!” replies a chorus that includes me. “It just gave out a little whine!”
“That”, says Danny, bemused, “is truly terrible.”
A few rows over, Doug joins in with, “What did the green grape say to the purple grape?”
“I’m scared to guess!” calls Danny.
“Stop holding your breath!” comes the chorus.
“Okay, so I’ve died and gone to joke hell,” says Danny.
“Why did the grape go out with a pineapple?” This is my contribution.
“IT COULDN’T FIND A DATE!”
“Please make it stop,” Danny mock-whimpers.
“Right.” Javi claps his hands. “ Todos . Back to work. We’re making Danny cry.”
We all get back to work. But I’m acutely aware of Danny on the other side of the vines from me, and it’s all I can do not to keep talking to him. Ironic, I know, considering I’m the one who refused to have a conversation with him yesterday. It’s as if being here again, working in the vines, has brought what’s important to me into sudden sharp focus, and I want to tell Danny all about it. I want to tell him that I’ve realized that my choices in life might have been actually counter to what I needed. I chose distance and independence, and while it was good for me to learn how to stand on my own two feet, I missed out on eight years of connection, to my home, my family, and my community. Connection to this place, and these people all around me. I want to tell him that maybe, just maybe, it’s time for me to come back home.
And that, of course, clashes with the other thing I want – which is Danny. I cannot let my life be ruled by my fears. I can’t keep running away from things just because I think it’ll make me feel safe. It never does make me feel safe, because wherever I go, there I am, and all my fears and anxieties are right there along with me. I want to see if Danny and I can make a future together, but his life, his business, his brand-new career on TV, they’re all in L.A. He can’t leave and I won’t ask him to. It would be hugely unfair to put that kind of pressure on him.
Argh! I have so much I want to talk to him about! But of course, I couldn’t have chosen a worse time to feel chatty. Unless I want the whole harvest crew to share their opinions with us. Which, amazingly, I don’t.
Danny starts humming a song. Can’t tell what it is. But Javi obviously knows because he joins in. Oh, right. It’s “Patience” by Guns N’ Roses. Either Danny is psychic or the universe is sending me another message, this time via the medium of a gritty hard rock band in acoustic ballad mode.
Now pretty much everyone’s joined in. I turn to check if Cam is also quietly humming away, only to find him staring back at me, with a quizzical look.
“Not a GNR fan?” I ask him.
“Can’t hold a tune,” he says. “That gene passed me by.”
“Same. I can dance, but do not ask me to sing.”
Cam stares a moment longer. “Are we … okay? You and me?”
I realize he and I haven’t really spoken since his apology. And that I also never thanked him properly for helping me through my panic attack on that truck ride with Mom. I’ve had a lot going on, but still. Do better, Frankie.
“We’re good, Cam,” I say. “I’m sorry it took so long for us to get there.”
“Me, too,” he says.
Neither of us being a super huggy person, we just nod at each other and get back to work. But I’m smiling. It feels good to be friends with Cam. Even if all we ever do again is nod at each other when we pass by, it’ll be a friendly nod.
“Psst!” It’s Danny.
“What?”
“Hear that?”
I listen. All I can hear is quiet shuffling and snipping. Wait, is that a distant hoot?
“It’s a great horned owl, I’m pretty sure,” says Danny. “Beautiful birds.”
His voice has a hint of awe in it. He genuinely does love our feathered friends. Which is really kind of cool.
Damn it. I don’t care if this is a terrible time. If I don’t say something to him, I’m going to burst like an overripe grape.
“Danny,” I say, very quietly. “I want to make you and me work so badly, but I don’t know how.”
For a moment, there’s no response. Then I hear, also very quietly, “I can’t shout ‘ Yes! ’ out loud, can I? Because then everyone will want to know our business.”
“They totally will.”
“And we don’t want anyone to know until we’ve figured this out, right?”
“Definitely.”
“And we will figure it out because I love you and you love me, right?”
“…”
“Frankie?”
“Yes,” I say. “Yes, Danny, I love you. I love you so , so much!”
Guess I forgot to be quiet.
“ ?Estupendo! ” Javi claps his hands and shouts, “Love is in the air for Danny and Frankie, everyone!”
There’s a chorus of cheers and congratulations, until Javi claps again. It echoes like a gunshot, and everyone immediately shuts up.
“ ?Ya basta! Enough!” orders Javi. “Back to work!”
A moment later, I hear a quiet voice through the vines. “Love you, too, Frankie. All the way to that big ol’ moon and back.”
And I work the rest of the night in a smiling, rose-tinted, blissful, love-filled daze.