Chapter 4 #2
Maura snorted, breaking the spell between us. “Don’t think you’re in love with him, mortal. The healing process casts a bit of a happy glaze over the world.”
I wanted to deny it but tried to shake off the strange reaction I felt for Fieran. I had to focus on my family. “My little sister will be worried about me. I’ve got to see that she’s safe and make sure she’s not freaking out—”
“If she sees you now, wounded, she’s definitely going to freak out. I’ll get you bandaged up and take you back to the school.” He sounded so reasonable.
I hesitated, and while I was hesitating, he was busy pulling out some bandages.
He cut down the shoulder of my dress, and I let out a gasp of shock before I realized it was a waste anyway.
I pressed my back against the tree’s rough bark, afraid the gaping fabric would reveal a hint of the mark that spread across my shoulders.
Then he began dressing the wound. He winked at me. “Besides, you’d better stay still so you don’t waste any of this expensive salve.”
“It’s not actually expensive,” Maura said. “It’s free. As long as you’re on the very good side of a dragon.”
“Which most people will never manage to be,” Darien said.
“You don’t seem to be on the good side of Moontail,” Maura shot back.
“Asrael,” Fieran called.
Asrael shot him a stone-faced look as he moved toward our side. “Do you have criticisms for me?”
“No,” Fieran said.
“Wise.”
They were all so athletic and graceful, gorgeous, and comfortable with each other. I was a little bit glamored despite myself and all too aware of it.
I tried to think of something to say to sound normal. “How can we really be sure the wyrms are gone?”
“We’re staying here to find the rip and set the traps to catch any monsters that break through,” Fieran finished, tying my bandage off. “We won’t leave until life is all back to normal.”
“Thank you,” I said.
He stood and nodded in response to my gratitude, then put his hands around my waist and lifted me to my feet. The contact shocked me. So did the way it felt, having him touch me so easily, like the way they all touched each other, having his big hands wrapped around my waist.
He lifted me as if I weighed nothing to him. “You’re really all right?” he asked as if he were checking in with me.
I nodded.
“I just want to keep an eye on you while that keeps healing. I’m going to walk you back to the school.”
“And if I told you I wanted to go alone?”
He grinned. “Your attempt at getting rid of me would be charming but ineffective.”
I rolled my eyes. But I didn’t try to get rid of him.
We walked together back to the road and then down toward the village. We’d have to walk through the village to get back to the school, and I realized with a sudden dawning sense of horror that everyone in the village would see me with the dragon shifter.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that he knew somehow that I was dragon-marked. That I had never come forward to train and to receive a dragon. To have that ability and to leave it unused was considered criminal. Treasonous.
I wasn’t the one who had made that decision, but when I realized what my parents had hidden, I hadn’t made it right, either. I had been afraid of what would happen to them…and I’d been afraid to leave them behind. They needed me.
I tried to think of a way to make conversation. He seemed perfectly content walking silently beside me. “What’s it like being a dragon shifter?”
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. Would he guess that I had a reason for asking? Was it yet another hint I was giving him about who I really was?
He took it in stride, though. Maybe this was a question people asked him all the time. After all, people feared and admired the dragon shifters in equal measure.
“Do you want to know the good things about being a dragon shifter?”
“The good and the bad,” I said.
His lips twisted ruefully before he said, “I don’t think anyone really wants to know both.”
There was a flash of emotions across his face—maybe sadness, maybe bitterness, maybe anger—and then it was gone, too quick for me to understand.
But before I could say anything, to try to fix the misstep I’d clearly just made, he went on. “It feels good to train and to protect the kingdom with my clan.” He grinned as if he couldn’t hide the pride he felt in his friends. “You just met some of them.”
“They seem pretty incredible,” I admitted.
“They are. I am so lucky to have them as my family now.” He brimmed with genuine gratitude, despite the way he had teased them earlier.
“And having the connection to the dragons is incredible. Not just the powers that come with them. Not just flying. The dragons are in our heads, and it’s as if we’re never alone. ”
“I don’t know that I would like that.” I often liked being alone. I just didn’t like the loneliness I felt at times.
“You get used to it. A lot of people think the dragons are just a version of ourselves, even though the same dragons surface over and over again. Only some of the dragons from the beyond are willing to claim us.” He grinned ruefully, as if the dragons were unwise to mix with the shifters at all.
Even if I had presented myself to be trained as a dragon shifter, there was no reason to think a dragon would claim a mortal.
The dragon-marked merely had the ability to shift.
Then the spirit of a dragon had to choose them; the dragon interacted with our world through the shifter, and the shifter was granted powers by the dragon.
I’d probably be just as unimpressively mortal to a dragon.
He went on, “Mortals and Fae alike don’t understand dragons have their own personalities. It’s like having my best friend who’s always there with you, a part of you.”
“What’s your dragon like?”
“Kind of a bossy, controlling asshole.”
“I thought you said they weren’t that similar to yourselves.”
I felt the hum of regret as soon as the smart comment was out of my mouth. I didn’t want to make him mad. I’d been enjoying talking with him.
But he threw back his head and laughed. “Fair. But I promise, he is very different from me.”
We had almost reached the school.
“Most of all, it feels good to protect people.” He gave me a hard look. “It’s what some of us are meant to do.”
Again, my heart was hammering. And again, I was afraid he knew, and then if he didn’t already know my secret, my body would give it away. I tried to calm myself. “I’m just a mortal girl. How could I protect people?”
“How could you?” he agreed. “And yet, I saw you do it. I don’t think you’re just a mortal girl.”
My heart stopped.
“I think you’re amazing.”
We had reached the school. Miss Hex came out hesitantly, but as soon as she opened the door, Lidi slipped past her and raced to me.
When I opened up my arms, she practically jumped into them. The two of us hugged each other hard.
When a big hand settled on my shoulder, she looked up at Fieran in awe.
“I hope you know your big sister is a hero,” he told her.
She beamed up at him, then at me, her face full of pride, and I felt my heart swell.
As dangerous as Fieran was for me…I couldn’t deny the fact that he made me smile.
Maybe that was the most dangerous thing about him.
I need to stay far, far away from him.
But as he turned and walked away, Lidi said, “Are we going to be safe when they leave?”
“The dragon shifters will stay until everything is back to rights,” I promised her.
Something about the idea of the dragon shifters being gone and everything being back to normal—as much as I should want it—hollowed out a strange ache inside me.
“Good, because they make me feel safe.” She hugged me again.
That was not what they made me feel.