Chapter 5 #2
“I’ve heard you never see a Nightwalker unless they want to be seen.” I didn’t try to hide the fear I felt just thinking of encountering one, knowing Hendi would appreciate the drama. Old men adore drama.
“The Nightwalkers are the queen’s elite guard. What’s one doing in Bevest?” Curran asked.
“Nightwalkers in Bevest, and monsters in Stonehaven? The entire kingdom’s falling apart,” Dredick pronounced.
“It is interesting.” Hendi glanced toward Fieran. “My kid used to collect dragon cards. He was over the moon when Fieran drew Shadowbane. They were all obsessed with who Shadowbane would choose for the years he was beyond.”
He glanced up at me. “Did you ever collect dragon cards?”
He asked it so brightly, and I felt a sudden ache, remembering how his son should be older than me now. Hendi had tried to get him Fae help after his accident, but they’d arrived too late. Still took payment from him, though.
“No.” I shook my head. “Other kids did in school. I couldn’t afford them.”
And I’d been afraid to touch the cards, afraid someone might ferret out my secrets, though it had been superstitious and silly.
“I still have them,” he muttered, and my heart twisted. “I can bring them tomorrow. I’m sure they all have the best dragons—some of them are less impressive.”
“Given how terrifying they were today, I find that hard to imagine,” I said with a smile.
“I want to hear your version of today’s story,” Dredick said suddenly.
I whistled. “Not much to tell. I got in the way of a wyrm by accident, really. Fear’s just trying to make me look good.”
Dredick’s eyes sharpened, as if he wanted to know why, and for the second time that night, I pretended to hear Humbridge—and actually responded for once.
When I came back out, Fieran broke away from his crowd of admirers, and their laughter thinned in his wake. Halli, who’d been flirting with him with such wild ineffectiveness, glanced down at her drink, her smile flat and thin like the beer.
Fieran leaned against the bar as I began to fill more flagons, watching the crowd, not me, but I could still feel his attention. “You’re irritatingly modest.”
“And you’re irritatingly prone to eavesdropping. Why does it matter to you?” I didn’t understand why he’d made me out as a hero to the whole pub.
“You remind me of someone.”
My pulse climbed into my throat. My warning bells were chiming, just as loud as those for the monsters, but I tried to make my voice casual. “A mortal or a dragon shifter?”
“A dragon.” He didn’t turn to face me, which was good, because I doubted I had much control over my face in that split second.
He knew. He had to suspect.
“I have to get some supper for that table,” I told him before I dove into the kitchen behind the bar.
Brilliant. Just brilliant. The running-away would certainly convince him there was no need to be suspicious.
“I was thinking I might go home a little early tonight,” I said. “Now that Linny is here.”
Humbridge looked up from the stew he was doling into bowls. “That’s fine. Last night’s tips are on the shelf over there, by the way.” He nodded toward it.
Disbelief washed over me but didn’t stop me from pocketing the money. “Thank you.”
“Those shifters are good for business.” He sounded so pleased with himself, as if he had done something to bring them through those doors besides being the only pub in town. At least my favor with the shifters explained his sudden interest in being fair.
I tossed my apron into the bin to wash and made my way out into the night.
Cool air caressed my cheeks, which felt as if they hadn’t stopped burning all night. I inhaled deeply, breathing in a faint scent of smoke that seemed to float through the air.
“Running away?” It was a deep, familiar voice. “And here I’ve been telling everyone how courageous you are.”
“Yes, I noticed. I haven’t been sure what to do with your banter.” I turned to face Fieran, wondering if he was going to confront me about who I really was. Before he could open that topic, I blurted out, “Why did you defend me earlier?”
Fieran shrugged. “I watched you face down a wyrm with a shovel today. I figured if I didn’t take care of that rude louse, you’d bury him.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “I’m not that tough.”
“Aren’t you?” He leaned against the stone wall surrounding the pub, his hands in his pockets.
I had the feeling he was shrinking himself down, slumping so I felt a little less intimidated next to him.
He was still far taller than me. He was taller than any mortal man.
“We’re staying around another night or two.
In fact, there are a few members of another clan coming in to provide reinforcements, since they were in the vicinity. ”
Alarm swept through me. “Are we in danger? Should I be worried—should I be home?”
“We’re here. We’ll know if there are monsters attacking, and we’ll take care of them,” he promised me.
“It must be nice to feel so confident that you can deal with whatever comes your way.” I immediately regretted the words and the way I’d just revealed my inability to do so.
“I don’t think any of us feel sure handling everything, Cara,” he said, his voice quiet. “I’m sorry if I made you afraid you needed to sneak out the back door. That was not my intent.”
I needed to stay away from Fieran, and I needed for him to stay away from me, and yet somehow the thought of him feeling like I was afraid of him bothered me. He had been kind and decent, and the only thing I was afraid of was that he saw who I really was.
But maybe I did want Fieran to see me. Not all of me, but…I’d never had anyone look at me in his admiring way, and he was the most fascinating man in the village.
“No, I’m sorry,” I told him. “I’m not scared of you.”
“That would make you the only one in the village who’s not at least a little bit scared.” He raised a finger and beckoned me toward him. “Are you sure?”
There was a challenge in his voice.
He was trying to tease me closer, and I didn’t enjoy being manipulated. “I’m not afraid.”
“Then why does your heart beat so fast every time I’m close to you?”
I met his gaze brazenly. I couldn’t tell him the truth, but I could tell him a different truth. “That’s not fear.”
“Is that so?”
The two of us were close together now. He was still leaning back against the wall. He looked so big and relaxed and alluring, and I wanted to reach out and touch him.
And it made sense to do just that so that he wouldn’t be suspicious of my reactions. I put my hand on his warm chest, which was at my eye level. Then I slid my fingers up his shoulder, feeling all the hard planes of muscle beneath his shirt.
He stayed very still, letting me touch him, as if he thought I could be startled away like a frightened rabbit.
“Are you going to kiss me, Cara?” he asked me.
He lowered his head so that I actually had a chance of reaching his lips. Those golden eyes on mine were mesmerizing.
“What do you think I am?” I asked, as ridiculous as it was, when I was touching him.
“I think you’re a girl who wants to kiss me as much as I want to kiss her. I think you’re a girl who knows what she wants. And I think you’re a girl who should take it.”
Even though he was flirting with me, for some reason his words made me think about the other things I wanted. About trying to protect Lidi and save Tay’s life.
What I wanted didn’t matter.
All that mattered was taking care of my people.
“You don’t know me.”
“I’m pretty good at reading people, Cara.” He was looking at me with those molten gold eyes that seemed to look right through me. “And I can read that you deserve a lot more than you admit to yourself. You deserve the world.”
“Even if that’s true…” I felt a pang of resistance at the very thought. Not when I was failing Tay and Lidi; I didn’t deserve a thing. “How am I going to get the world, Fieran? I’m a village girl who’s never even seen the Fae except for when they took her magic.”
Everyone else who was marked as a dragon shifter had been trained since childhood for their cause.
The shifters protected and saved the kingdom. We all but worshipped them.
But the shifters were also descended from the Fae, and I was heartbreakingly mortal despite the mark. I didn’t have their senses, strength, or ethereal beauty. I didn’t belong with them anymore than I ever felt like I belonged here.
For the first time, he slowly raised his hand, moving like he would to a spooked cat, and he touched my cheek tenderly. “I don’t think anyone took your magic, Cara. I think the parts of it that matter the most could never be taken away.”
I stared up at the shape of his lips, so close to mine. I’d kissed other men before, and yet this felt like the most intimate touch I’d ever had, with his hand on my face, my palm pressed against his big shoulder.
“I would offer you the world, if I could. But I think that you can take it for yourself.”
I swallowed. His words were nonsense, but they were such sweet, tempting nonsense. “You’ll be gone in a few days.”
And I’ll be better for it. I’ll stop wanting things I shouldn’t want…
He stroked his thumb across my cheek and leaned in as if he were going to kiss me. He touched me the way I had fantasized about being touched, before finding out how disappointing the village boys were.
“Try me, Cara. Tell me what you want.” As if he hoped that it would be him that I wanted.
Gods help me, I did want him.
Kissing the shifter…that was one thing I could have for myself. Galin had been unforgivably dickish tonight, but he wasn’t wrong. It didn’t matter if I walked home now or if I slid my hand up the hard planes of Fieran’s chest. It changed nothing for Lidi and Tay.
So I did, feeling the warmth and muscle beneath the softness of his shirt. His tunic smelled clean and fresh, like laundry soap and lemon peel. Beneath it was the warmer, pleasant note of his own skin, mixed with the smokiness that the shifters carried.
“So what is it you want?” he asked, his voice casual, but I felt his breath hitch under my palm.
Warmth spread through me. Unbelievable. This powerful shifter everyone wanted, and he responded that way to me?
“You.” The word came out on a giddy rush, embarrassing yet again. But it was hard enough to get the word out.
When his eyes lit in response, my sense of embarrassment faded.
He closed the distance like gravity pulled him to me. His mouth barely brushed mine, slow and reverent. His lips were warm, soft at first, then firmer, deeper as I tilted toward him.
I pressed closer, my fingers curling in the front of his shirt as if he’d vanish if I didn’t hold him there. He groaned, low and rough, and slid his hand into my hair, tilting my head to kiss me deeper.
No village boy had ever made me feel kissing me was sacred, as if my mouth was the answer to his every prayer.
I was breathing hard when the two of us both pulled apart just slightly. His deep golden eyes studied mine as if he were trying to make sure I was happy.
He’d bent so I could reach his lips, his body folded awkwardly down with my hand resting on his shoulder now, and I smiled against his mouth. “This cannot be comfortable for you.”
“I’m quite content,” he promised me.
“The bench?” I suggested, gesturing at the two benches that sat in the shadow of the building, looking out over the mountain.
He nodded but, to my surprise, suddenly swept me off my feet and into his arms. I let out a gasp and gripped his neck, and he didn’t waste any time, kissing me again as he carried me to the bench in a few long, quick strides.
I found myself settled in his lap. His mouth claimed mine again, rougher now.
His hand slid to my waist and pulled me against him, our bodies fitting too well, too fast. I could feel the hard line of him through the thin fabric of my skirt—could feel his heartbeat thundering in sync with mine.
I wanted to grind down on that hard length, and I shifted, spreading my thighs to either side to straddle his lap.
His eyes were filled with appreciation as he touched my cheek again.
“Where did you come from, Cara?” he whispered, his mouth moving against my temple. “It seems so strange that I could’ve never come to your village. Never had this moment.”
“I’m sure you have a girl in every village,” I said, needing to convince myself that it was true. There was an awful warm glow in my chest at his attention, and I needed to smother that flame.
“Are you sure of that?”
I bit my lower lip because I wasn’t about to gush out the truth: he was too handsome, too charming, too powerful. It seemed highly unlikely that I was special to him.
“I guess you’re right,” I said with mock lightness. “We barely know each other at all. I shouldn’t presume anything, except that you’ll kiss me again.”
His lips tilted in the most irresistible smirk, and his hand flattened on my lower back, pulling me closer.
As his kisses deepened, the world narrowed. There was nothing but the slide of his lips against mine, the teasing flick of his tongue, the heat coiling low in my belly.
His hand trailed along my spine, setting every nerve alight. My fingers curled into his shoulders and felt tension there, as if he was holding back something barely leashed.
It seemed unreal that I could provoke such feelings in this beautiful creature.
Then his hand drifted up my back until it wrapped the nape of my neck. It was only when I felt the warmth of his hand against my skin, pushing down my collar, that I realized my skin was already feverishly hot there.
The mark.
I’d lost track of every sense but him. But the mark was burning, and he must feel it, mustn’t he?
My breath hitched, my panic slashing through the haze of desire. I scrambled off his lap, breaking out of his grip before he could process what he was feeling on my skin and what it meant.
“Cara?” His eyes widened, unexpectedly boyish. “Did I hurt you?”
“No,” I said hastily, worried I’d hurt him when I had no reason to do so. He’d been nothing but kind. “I just have to get home.”
“Did I scare you?” He stayed sitting down, though he looked restless, and I realized he was trying to make me comfortable.
“No, that’s not it at all. I’m sorry. I just…I shouldn’t have. I have my family to take care of…”
“As long as that’s all.” He still looked troubled.
“It is. Thank you. That was nice.”
“Nice,” he repeated, still looking dazed.
“So nice!” I followed up, too upbeat, and then wanted to die spontaneously right there. “Good night!”
I fled home, feeling shaken.
But a few times, I found myself smiling anyway.