Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
Icarried a pocket full of smoked meat and cheese—rolled up in a napkin—into my room after lunch. I was looking for a place to hide it when the sound of clicking nails over hardwood startled me into panic.
Rees was watching me curiously from the doorway, his head tilted and his ears cocked. If my heart hadn’t been fluttering in my chest like the wings of a frantic bird—and if he weren’t the size of a small cow—he would have been cute.
“Are you hungry?” I asked, kneeling to roll a smoked sausage across the floor to him.
He gobbled it up and looked at me expectantly.
“You’ve got to keep it our secret,” I told the dog.
He growled, and my heart rate spiked. Well, apparently we weren’t friendly if I weren’t actively feeding him. I rolled him another sausage.
“What secret?” Maura sounded bored as she leaned in my doorway, and I jolted to my feet, throwing the napkin bundle under my bed.
She studied my face, then smirked before I could answer. “Don’t worry, mortal. I know your secrets are dull.”
She’d been exceptionally miserable since we met, and while Fieran had tried to excuse her behavior, no other shifter I’d met had been so mean. The other clans might see me as a piece of furniture, but she went out of her way to insult me.
“Did I do something to offend you?” I asked.
“We can talk about that while we train,” Maura promised me.
“What kind of training?”
“Making sure you don’t humiliate yourself in front of the clans during Recruits’ Trials.”
That seemed awfully optimistic from the woman who’d been tossing around the jam jar earlier. I was not remotely surprised when she went on to add, “I don’t mean impressing anyone. I just don’t want you crying before someone lands a punch. We all know you’re going to embarrass yourself.”
“Very comforting.”
“Do you want to train with Fieran instead?” she asked pointedly.
“Lead on,” I said.
She marched me into an empty room in a quiet hallway off the arena.
“Perfect,” she pronounced, glancing around the unused space, which had a vaulted ceiling and plain whitewashed walls. “Short distance to the healers, but still private.”
“What?”
“It’s always horrifying the first time someone punches you in the face.” Maura leaned in like we were conspirators. “Lucky you. I’m here to get it over with.”
“I didn’t—”
The world exploded red.
I hit the tile floor hard, stinging my palms and my ass. My face throbbed so hard I couldn’t see. I hadn’t even seen her move.
“You’ll have to react faster.” Her boot pressed against my chest, pinning me.
I blinked through stinging tears to find her looking down at me, calm, as if hurting me were a dull chore on today’s list.
When I scrambled back, she kicked me in the chest. The pain in my breast was agonizing, and I clutched one arm over my chest, turning over and trying to launch myself up and away from her.
“You should’ve grabbed my ankle and thrown me off balance,” she said, almost sweetly. Then she shoved me again, her boot catching me in the back.
I stumbled up to my feet but almost fell. “Stop!”
“That’s not how it’ll work in the arena,” she replied coolly. “You can try, though. Most recruits make a good showing. You could stand out as the clown instead.”
“Is this really what Fieran told you to do to me?” I demanded.
“No,” she said. “Fieran and I don’t talk that much. For example, I haven’t yet discussed with him what you whispered about with Ander.”
Cold slid through my gut.
Her lips tilted in a smirk. “So. What did you and Ander discuss?”
It was hard to think straight with my chest aching and Maura stalking closer. I lifted my fists, though I knew they wouldn’t matter against her speed. “I asked him why Fieran dragged me here.”
She rolled her eyes. “Do mortals really not know what happens to shifters who skip the Trials?”
“Why would we? Mortals don’t shift.”
“Fieran’s got a stray-kitten problem,” she mused as she stalked toward me. I backed away, the two of us circling each other as I tried to shift toward the door. “He collects anything helpless. And you’re the neediest little thing I’ve ever seen.”
“He hasn’t exactly helped me.” Maybe I could rattle her with the truth. Or maybe I could get myself killed. Either way, I added, “But I’m sorry you’re jealous.”
Her gaze sharpened. “I always assumed the Fae were lying when they called mortals stupid. But you…you’re making me wonder if they were right.”
“I’d like to trust him,” I shot back. “I want to believe Fieran is a good man. I need to believe it for my brother’s sake.”
Her eyes narrowed. “So are you plotting with Ander, or are you just hoping Fieran will keep rescuing you?”
“I’m not plotting anything with Ander,” I snapped.
Her fist cracked across my jaw. I tried to block the punch, but it didn’t matter; I stumbled back anyway. I was still trying to catch myself when she reared back and kicked me in the chest, and I flew backward.
I went down hard, only to find her straddling me a moment later, pinning my arms with her knees.
“If you hurt him,” she said with a careless smile on her face that would stick with me, “what I do to you now will feel like mercy.”
She slapped me across the face, almost lazily, as if testing how much pain I could take. Fire blossomed across my cheek.
“Let me up!” I snarled.
“Make me.” She slapped me again, her tone mocking. “Soon you’ll be here in front of everyone who doesn’t answer to Fieran. The clans deciding your value. The queen watching. Will you whine then too?”
I twisted, trying to buck her off, but she pressed down harder, grinding her sharp knees into my arms until they went numb.
Finally she laughed, rising effortlessly. I scrambled to my feet with effort.
Something pulled in my abdomen, and my breath was coming out in weird gasps, with a sharp pain stabbing into the left side of my chest. “I think I need the healer.”
“What did you and Ander discuss?” she demanded again.
“I just wanted to make sure Fieran would help Tay. Even if I die.” My chin lifted. “That he won’t keep my brother hostage—”
“What other use does the mortal serve?” she cut in lazily.
Heat flushed through me. “He’s my brother. Do you think I love him less than you love your sister?”
Her eyes gleamed, sharp and possessive. “Don’t assume you know what my sister means to me.” She cocked her head. “But you—you only care about two people in this world. Your brother. Your sister.”
Her voice softened to a tone that was almost reverent. “Fieran cares about his clan. His kingdom. You’re not worthy of him.”
The words jolted me. “I’m not trying to be worthy of him. I don’t even want him.”
“You should.”
“Are you in love with him, Maura?”
The look she gave me was answer enough, just before she lashed out. The world went red as she kicked me again, and my shoulder blades slammed into the wall.
She struck me again—less controlled this time, almost desperate. My head snapped to the side, stars bursting across my vision. I staggered but stayed upright.
My head slammed against the wall hard. Shock, then pain, then the wet heat of blood soaking my hair.
I touched it with numb fingers. When I drew them back, red slicked my skin, every whorl of my fingerprints distinct against the blood. I stared at them, dazed, horrified.
Maura’s eyes flicked to the red staining my hairline. For the first time, she hesitated. Her mouth pressed into a hard line, but her fists were still up.
Her expression shifted the moment she saw me swaying. The satisfaction she usually carried like armor slipped. For just a breath, I saw something raw in her face. Fear, maybe, or regret.
“Damn it,” she muttered, stepping closer, catching my arm before I could crumple completely. She cursed under her breath, the words sharp and ugly, but her grip steadied me instead of shoving me down.
“Let me go,” I rasped.
Her jaw tightened. “I didn’t mean to—” She cut herself off, shaking her head. “You should’ve blocked that. You can’t be this helpless.”
Her voice cracked on the last word, betraying something she hadn’t meant to show.
“You sound worried,” I said, slurring a little.
She let out a short, humorless laugh. “Don’t flatter yourself. I’m just not allowed to kill you.”
My legs rebelled and folded underneath me. She was too late to catch me. My vision tunneled, and all I could see at the other end was Maura’s face.
As she looked down at me, I caught a flicker of fear in her gaze.
She’d gone too far, and she knew it.
“Let’s get you to the healer,” she said, grabbing my wrist and pulling me up to my feet. She was already ducking her shoulder down, clearly trying to load me onto her body so she could carry me.
“Get away from me.” I pushed her away.
She gave me a furious look, as if she wanted to hit me again but didn’t dare. “I’m trying to fix this!”
I made it to my feet, reeling, and felt my stomach turn. I puked in her general direction, but the world was too blurry for me to see if I had hit her. Her curse didn’t tell me anything, either.
“I didn’t know you’d be so breakable!” she said.
That was exactly the problem. I might very well die in the arena, even though no one was supposed to during the Recruits’ Trials. But I didn’t have their ability to take damage and walk away.
“Fuck you, Maura. You were trying to torture me.” She could try to make me afraid of Fear, but he would be furious at her. That was obvious from the quiet terror that emanated from her, no matter how much she tried to look steely and unphased.
“For Fieran’s sake. You better hope he doesn’t find out you were talking with Ander.” She was trying to buy my silence with my own fear.
I puked again, though this time there was nothing but bile for me to empty across the shining floor.
She cursed again. “I’m going to get help. Stay here.”
She ran.
But she was gone, and my mind was unspooling, my head too heavy to hold up.