Chapter 49
Forty-Nine
Fieran walked downstairs with me, Rees trotting at our heels.
“Even the queen’s guards don’t come in here,” he said. “I can’t promise that I can protect Tay from any circumstances, but we’ll have time to figure out a plan if she orders him back to her castle.”
I nodded.
“Keep him from leaving,” he added. “Stay on the grounds.”
“I will.” I said with emphasis. The world within the barracks was threatening enough; I had no interest in walking through the Fae world as a mortal alone.
I stopped to say goodbye to Fieran at the door to Clan Amber’s barracks.
He didn’t seem to take the hint. “Can I make a suggestion?”
“Can I stop you?”
“You don’t have to take it,” he said blithely, forever unaffected by the venom I dripped when he was near. “But as his clan leader, I’m worried about Kiegan.”
“Why?”
“Everyone’s scared before the dragons’ claiming. He won’t admit it and won’t go to anyone. I thought maybe he’d feel better around you.”
“You think the orc is going to open up to me?”
“Gods, no. But I think he needs a friend. And orcs have terrible taste, and he seems to have chosen you.”
“And here I thought you were jealous.”
His grin widened. “Perhaps I wanted you to think I was jealous. I know how things end between us, Cara.”
“I murder you?”
“Not quite,” he murmured, and even though I had just threatened murder, he looked as if he might kiss me.
And gods help me, I was always a little bit tempted to kiss him.
Instead, still heated by our contact in his room, I slipped inside. I would’ve closed the door between us, but Rees cast a needy look up at me, so I held the door for him.
“I can’t believe you stole my dog.” Fear seemed to fill the doorway, crossing his arms. A lazy, too-kissable smile spread across his lips. “It’s the only betrayal that really stings. I expect all the others, but hounds are supposed to be loyal.”
His shield for betrayals was a lie. I knew that now. But I wasn’t going to soothe his feelings; the last thing I needed was for Ander, an ally I needed, to discover me inviting Fear into Ander’s sacred space.
“Rees!” Tay said from behind me, and I smiled at his voice, glad to see my brother doing well again.
Tay had knelt and was rubbing Rees’s ears. I turned back to close Fieran out and found him grinning, a reflection of the look on my face, as if he were mirroring my joy.
My heart swooped like a bird. A stupid bird. The kind of bird that runs directly into the cat’s mouth.
“Goodbye, Fear,” I told him.
He gave me a look as if he knew it wouldn’t be easy for us to leave each other, but he went.
That night, Ander caught me in the hall, checked we were alone, then gave me a dark glower. He told me that he would prefer I attended training rather than fucking our rival clan leader.
Secrets were hard to keep around shifters.
I looked him in the eye, refusing to apologize. “I wanted to talk to him about my brother.”
“Fine. I would never stand between you and answers for Tay. Fieran can be a useful ally as long as you remember not to trust him.” He gave me a stern look. “I doubt you can remember that when you’re on his cock.”
“It’s just sex,” I told Ander.
“That mortal ability to lie to yourselves is impressive. Infinitely better than your swordsmanship, which is why training is probably a better use of your time than letting that asshole fuck you.”
Gods, I wanted away from this conversation. But I didn’t want to lose Ander as an ally by sneaking behind his back, and I didn’t intend to do anything to put myself in danger, either. I needed protection. “I’d like to see Kiegan tonight. If you don’t mind me spending time with another clan.”
“With Fieran’s clan?” he said pointedly. “Do as you will. Just don’t leave the grounds, and try to stay off Fieran.”
Before I could respond to that order, he added, “I’ll make sure Tay gets dinner and keep an eye on him.”
“Thank you,” I said, genuinely touched he was looking out for my brother, especially given his current ire.
He made a small, gruff sound at the back of his throat, but nodded.
When Kiegan stepped out of Bismyth’s hall, an unexpected lurch of happiness careened through me.
That sentiment was paired with an even stranger longing not just for him, but for the hallway behind him, for the door that closed behind his clan. I wanted to belong here. I wanted to be in Bismyth, with my closest friend and with the bonds I’d made with the clan.
The realization hit hard, and I shoved it down. I didn’t belong here. Maybe I never had. I’d thrown myself into saving Lidi and Tay, trying to protect my family, even though I’d failed miserably. There was no undoing those choices.
“Cara,” Kiegan said, as if he’d been expecting me. “Knife-throwing?”
He said it casually, as if we were resuming a conversation we’d started over lunch, though I hadn’t seen him all day.
“All right.”
He came to the door and greeted Rees with far more enthusiasm than he had me.
“Don’t you need to get them?” I asked as he stepped onto the staircase with me.
He snorted. “I always have my knives.”
“Probably for the best. Where are we going for knife-throwing practice?”
“Anywhere we want.” His grin was wolfish.
I’d thought he would have a designated training space, somewhere safe. But of course that wasn’t Kiegan’s style. “I have an idea.”
“Sure makes me nervous when you say that. Even more than when Fear does.”
Something tugged in my chest at the way he casually called Fieran by his nickname. Still, I was glad he seemed comfortable in his clan. As we walked, I asked, “How’s it been? Settling into Bismyth?”
He shrugged. Rees’s claws clicked behind us as we went down the stairs.
“I thought we should find the site for the claiming ceremony.” I broke the silence, not sure why he was reluctant to talk about Bismyth. “It’s not used for anything else, so it should be quiet.”
“Go where we might die in a few days?”
“I don’t plan to die. And you’re definitely not allowed to.”
“Bossy. I’ll die if I want to.”
“You’re my only friend here, Kiegan. You’re not going to abandon me.”
He scoffed. “Orcs don’t have friends.”
“Nonsense. Orcs just define ‘friends’ as people to throw knives with.”
“So bossy. Be my friend. Don’t die.” His imitation of me was quite high-pitched and offensive.
I backhanded his arm, which hurt my knuckles and amused him.
I didn’t bother to try to hide the way I had to shake out my hand as the two of us crossed the foyer. “What are you made of?”
“Spite.”
“And stone.”
“And curiosity,” he added. “We might both burn in a few days’ time, but it’s going to be so interesting.”
The two of us wound our way through the labyrinth.
“I still can’t find my way to save my life,” I admitted.
“I know where we’re going and how to get back.” He caught my skeptical look and added, “I had to do something every night here besides make friends.”
“So you—”
“Mapped the labyrinth, yeah. Found some of this place’s secrets.” He walked ahead of me down a slick stone decline that reminded me of stepping into hell but that gradually lightened as we walked.
Then we emerged into an enormous green space that was open to the sea and sky on one side.
On the other side was an enormous arched doorway, as wide across as multiple Kiegans.
I stopped dead, staring at it. The idea of voluntarily going into the place where I might die suddenly seemed foolish.
But Kiegan was already halfway across the lichen-covered ground, so I hustled to catch up to him. I was breathing hard, and he was already inside the enormous vaulted space when I caught up.
The scent of ash and smoke was strong.
Rees whined. I turned back to find he had plunked himself down at the entrance and wasn’t entering.
“You are smarter than we are,” I told the dog.
In the center of the chamber was an enormous circle, defined by both the empty marble altar and by the burn marks.
“This is where we’ll come up one by one and place our sigils.” Kiegan ran one scarred hand over the marble top. “Then we’ll see if we burn or…”
He turned to look over his shoulder at the distant blue sea just visible through the doors. “Fly.”
“I can’t imagine Tay watching.” I swallowed, my throat working.
“You know everyone’s betting on us to die,” Kiegan said as cheerfully as he ever said anything, unwilling to entertain any emotion. “I’ll place some bets myself. Either I’ll be dead and win, or I’ll be a shifter. Either way, I am victorious.”
“I’ll place some bets too.”
“We’ll be rich,” he deadpanned.
“Now you promise to survive?”
“If it ruins some Fae’s day, absolutely.”
We threw our knives in silence, the swish of steel through air and the satisfying thunk against wood filling the space. We collected them in unison, falling into a rhythm that felt comfortable.
Kiegan turned to me, tossing his knife and catching it again—first by the hilt, then by the blade, then by the hilt again, with a finesse that seemed to defy his blocky hands. “Why are you so bothered about the dragons’ claiming? Either we burn or we don’t.”
I turned to him with a knife’s blade gripped carefully between my thumb and forefinger, ready to fling, and now I was considering him as the target. “Burning is definitely something to worry about.”
He threw another knife that struck with deadly accuracy. “Worrying about anything you can’t change is stupid. Do you have some way to talk a dragon into choosing you?”
I thought of the books of dragons. My Clan Amber dragon book hadn’t helped me much. But maybe another compendium would be the key to understanding this strange world. “Maybe. By studying the dragons, maybe we can shift the odds in our favor.”
He nodded slowly. “With two days until we face being chosen or charred?”
I shuddered at charred. His speech as an orc usually sounded more blunt, less ornate than the Fae, but he certainly had a flair for word choice. Despite what the other shifters believed, he was intelligent. He just didn’t talk or think like they did.