Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
dani
I was in so much trouble.
Sex with him was amazing.
He smelled like aftershave and whiskey.
The worst thing? I felt safe in his arms.
Something no one had been able to accomplish in years.
Kole tightened his hold on me, his lips brushing my shoulder as we laid on the couch with my back pressed against his chest. It was pitch black, and while I couldn’t see anything, there were no thoughts of worry. No jolts of unease.
Sleeping with him was supposed to distract me. It did the complete opposite. We just crossed the line as roommates, and I had no idea what that meant now.
“I know you’re not sleeping,” he breathed before nipping at my earlobe. “Why so quiet?”
We’d been laying here for what felt like hours, but I was in no rush to move. My heart thrashed at that thought. I barely knew this man, but he was under my skin in a way I’d never experienced before.
“Tell me something,” I murmured, desperate to get out of my own head. “Why’d you move here?”
His body stiffened so slightly that I never would have noticed if I wasn’t pressed up against him. “Because I wanted out of the city life.”
“Why?”
“I like my peace. This town is usually drama free. No one bothers me here.”
The slight change in his voice caught my attention. “That’s it?”
“You think I have a different reason other than what I told you?”
“You just lied to me,” I stated, wishing the light was on so I could see his reaction.
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
His chuckle sounded forced. “I’m not that easy to read.”
“You have tells,” I informed him. “You answered my accusation with a question. I didn’t even need to see you to know you’re lying.”
“I’m here because it’s what I want.” He spoke slowly. “Because my job here is how I make my living, and I enjoy it. Ask me another question. I want to see if you can really tell when I’m lying.”
I couldn’t help but smile at the challenge in his voice. I really should be more worried that he was lying to me, but right now I didn’t see him as a threat.
“Have you ever been married?”
The silence stretched for more than a minute before he answered.
“No…I’ve been engaged once.”
The playfulness in his voice had disappeared, and his cold tone proved I needed to tread carefully about this topic.
“What happened?” I asked gently.
“I caught her fucking my friend,” he said, anger raising in his voice. “They were having a fucking affair behind my back for months.”
My stomach twisted painfully. “I’m sorry—”
“It was a long time ago,” he cut me off gruffly. “Both of them mean nothing to me anymore.”
“Is that why you came to Winterlake? To forget?”
“No. I just needed a fresh start.”
We lapsed into silence as I processed what he just told me. I hadn’t meant to stir up memories to upset him, but I’d been curious about his past. He began massaging my shoulder softly. When his hand drifted lower, my gut churned. He was touching me right near my scars.
“Tell me who bothered you tonight,” he said in almost a whisper. “Who put that fear in your eyes?”
“What?” I choked out, his demand catching me by surprise. I fully expected him to ask about my scars.
“Tell me who it was,” he repeated roughly. “I’ll make sure the asshole never steps foot in my bar again.”
A warmth spread through my chest that had no business being there. But I didn’t miss the danger swarming his voice. Like when he threatened Tristin. Kole might be a good person, but he was capable of violence, just like me.
“No one talked to me,” I mumbled, shifting in his hold.
He sighed. “Dani.”
“It’s true.” Nausea swirled in my stomach as I thought about how to answer. “I heard someone say something…and it just brought back bad memories.”
“Does it have to do with…” he trailed off, brushing his fingertips over the scars on my stomach.
“Yes,” I forced out thickly. “I guess we both have fucked-up pasts.”
“I have a feeling yours is worse,” he muttered so quietly I nearly missed it.
“I’m usually fine,” I promised, blurting it out before I thought about it. “But sometimes certain things set me off and force me to relive that night. What I heard tonight made that happen.”
He kissed my shoulder. “I might need to know what those things are. If we do this again—I don’t want to do anything to scare you.”
I let out a humorless laugh. “Plan on torturing me for hours while your masked friend kills mine?” His stunned silence only spurred me on. This was the first time I’d ever spoken about it outside of therapy. “Are you going to slice me? Bury a blade into my stomach and leave me for dead?”
“Fuck,” he hissed out the curse. “Dani—”
“No plans to do any of that?” I interrupted. “Then you won’t scare me. It was never about sex for the monsters who hurt me. They got their gratification from fear and torture.”
He blew out a shaky breath. “Please tell me they’re rotting in prison.”
I nearly laughed at his words. That was the difference between him and me.
Between good and bad. He wanted them to pay for their crimes the legal way.
I wanted their blood on my hands as I paid back every slice of pain they inflicted on me.
The craving to see the fear in their eyes when I ended their life was how I stayed sane. Someday I’d have my revenge.
“No,” I answered him. “They never got caught.”
“You’re looking for them.”
His statement had me going still. “Excuse me?”
“Your job,” he clarified. “It makes sense that you profile criminals. You want to find them.”
I remained silent, shock coursing through me. He put that together much too fast.
“You think I need a fancy degree to read you?” he asked in a teasing voice I’d never heard from him before. “Maybe I know you better than you think, Dani.”
“Maybe you’re in the wrong profession then,” I tossed back. “Is that why Harry always comes to you for help?”
“Harry is allergic to hard work.” He paused. “I’m sure you’ve learned that after being at the station.”
He could have kept asking me about my past, but he didn’t. Something I was glad for. While I didn’t regret telling him, I really had no intention of going into more detail.
“Everyone has been working nonstop since Jillian got murdered,” I muttered. “But we still have nothing to go on.”
“It’s a small town, I’m sure the person will make a mistake.”
I scoffed. “Make a mistake when? When they’re committing another murder?”
“Let’s hope not. But they took more than one knife from the butcher shop. If I were you, I’d be working as if the person will kill again.”
“That is how I’m working it,” I replied slowly in surprise. “No wonder Harry comes to you for help.”
He buried his face in the crook of my neck, letting out a chuckle. “Was that a compliment?”
I rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see me. “Don’t ruin it.”
“I like this,” he murmured in a low voice. “Much better than fighting with you.”
“Don’t.” The word tumbled from my mouth before I could stop it. I sucked a deep breath before continuing. “I’m not here for a relationship—”
“Did I say anything about that?” he asked as he ran his fingertips along my ribs. “The snow is falling. Winter is here, Dani. And I can’t think of a better way to spend the cold nights than to have you in my bed.”
“No strings?”
“I don’t date. I guess that’s one thing we have in common.”
I swallowed thickly, not answering. His ex really messed him up if he didn’t want to date anymore.
Sex was messy, especially when I was living with him.
But…it was also normal. There was no denying that I was attracted to him.
I hadn’t met another man in this town that held my attention.
Maybe I could let my guard down. Allow myself to give into my desires.
It could even help curb the craving that was eating me to find the killer before Harry so I could take care of them myself.
“I’ll leave the decision to you,” he said quietly. “I won’t do anything again unless you kiss me.”
“It hasn’t snowed yet,” I stated, completely changing the subject. “Winter hasn’t started.”
He chuckled. “It’s snowing now.”
The smugness in his voice had me untangling myself from him and getting off the couch. Moving slowly to avoid hitting the coffee table in the dark, I crept toward the window and cracked open the curtain. A layer of white covered the ground, with snow still falling heavily.
“I could smell it in the air earlier today,” he said from the couch.
“So we’re all stuck here now,” I muttered, letting the curtain fall back into place.
“Didn’t they tell you that when you applied for the internship?”
“Yeah, they did.”
My chest grew tight even though I’d already known I wouldn’t be able to leave. Even if the roads weren’t closed during the winter I was still here until my internship was over.
“You don’t like this town?” he questioned after a few moments of silence.
“I don’t like knowing I can’t leave.”
“I’m sure a killer on the loose doesn’t make you feel better.”
I swallowed my laugh. That fact didn’t bother me at all. Ever since Jillian was killed, I’d been looking over my shoulder. No one would catch me by surprise.
“I’m going to bed. I need some sleep before I go to the station tomorrow.” I couldn’t see him in the dark but heard him as he stood from the couch. I bit my lip, his naked image filling my mind. “That was fun, Kole. I might take you up on the offer to do it again.”
With a small giggle, I headed toward the stairs, letting out a cry of surprise when he swung me up into his arms.
“Take up my offer now,” he rasped, climbing the steps. “I want you in my bed.”
Since I had no desire to tell him no, I wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me up the steps.
“This won’t turn into anything,” I whispered.
I wasn’t sure if those words were for him or myself. This was why I’d been keeping my distance from him. I was strong in so many ways, yet weak in others. While I rarely allowed myself to acknowledge it—the truth swallowed me when I let it.
Utter loneliness. The absence of a soft touch. The connection with someone who made butterflies swarm in my stomach.
“This means nothing,” he agreed, his voice giving away no emotion. “But let’s not pretend you’re not enjoying it.”
“If I wasn’t enjoying it, I wouldn’t be in your arms right now.”