Chapter 14
Erica
After getting checked into a hotel that made me feel equally as out of place as the one they stayed in the night before, Ari offers to take me to see the sights, if I was up for it.
While I was a little jet-lagged from the travel, I absolutely wanted to see the Golden Gate Bridge and whatever else he wanted to take me to see.
I honestly didn’t care because spending time with him was just so easy.
I didn’t have to think ten steps ahead when he asked me to go do something with him.
I didn’t have to take his mood into consideration and adjust mine accordingly.
When I absentmindedly put my arm out the “window” of the convertible he rented for us to drive, I flinched.
But he saw, and looking over at me with a beaming smile on his face he put his own arm out the window, letting it sway in the waves of the wind.
I would have cried if I wasn’t so spectacularly happy in that single moment.
While I’ve lived in California since I lost Gram, I haven’t done much sightseeing. When my plane touched down in Los Angeles, I scurried away from the chaos a bit, and landed in the Hermosa Beach area. With so much within reach, I just never got around to making it very far.
Then came Vann. We made all these big plans together, but once I quit my job and moved in with him, we went stagnant. I went stagnant. In every part of my life. The walls were erected in thick concrete, and I couldn’t find a door or window to escape from until I just stopped looking.
What if things with Ari do the same thing?
What if my mysterious poison turns him into one of the bad ones too?
How do I avoid it?
“Are you ready?!” Ari’s voice infiltrates my internal meltdown, shattering the bits of darkness with his light as he hollers over the wind rushing past us with the top down.
At first, my mind doesn’t understand what we’re supposed to be ready for, but as we round the bend in the road, I can see that we’re approaching the Golden Gate Bridge. We’re not just going to see it, we’re going to drive across it.
An excited giggle escapes me as we cross the threshold of the bridge, leaving the safety of solid ground behind us, but I’m only looking forward. So much like my life.
With my arms outstretched and a smile on my face, I tilt my head back and close my eyes, taking in this breath of freedom.
When I open my eyes the large towers of the bridge are rising above us, and I’m in inexplicable awe.
Yet, when I turn to look at Ari he isn’t looking at the wonders of the bridge .
. . he’s looking at me . . . the same way I’m looking at the bridge.
1 month later
Falling into the touring groove with Ari and the guys has been easier than I ever imagined. It’s not even as wild and busy as you might think. They’ve been doing this long enough now that they have a set schedule and way they like to do things. I admire the organization and thought behind it all.
When they leave a location, they are granted a travel day, no rushing straight to the next performance.
Then they have their show day where everything is focused on that night’s concert, early meet and greets, set up, sound checks, show, VIP experiences, etc.
Then the day after a show is a free day, a recharge day. Then the cycle starts over.
Ari and the guys never make me feel like a hinderance, including me in most of their plans. Though there have been a few times late at night that I’ve had a question and couldn’t find anyone, but it wasn’t urgent, so I just waited until the next day.
Not only does the band include me, but it feels like Ari spends every extra minute he has with me.
Not in a suffocating or smothering way. Just in a way that says “I’m here for you.
” Which he has also proven more times than I can count now, and it’s becoming harder and harder to ignore this invisible but strong pull to him.
He listens to everything. Not to hear and respond, but he retains information and uses it later in a way I’ve never experienced with a man.
At times it can actually be a little overwhelming to know someone is paying such close attention to me.
I made an offhand mention with the guys one night when we were talking about what they’d want to be doing if they weren’t a touring band.
I had mentioned that I’d like to get back to drawing and was going to save up for a new tablet.
The next day Ari took me out and bought me the best one on the market, refusing my profuse offers to promise to pay him back some day.
It’s a show day, so they guys are busy helping the crew with load in and set up stuff—because they’re also not assholes who leave the “hired help” to do all the work like other celebrities might.
They get out there and help them every step of the way.
So, while they work, I curl up on the small couch-like chair offstage to work on some sketches and ideas that have been floating around in my head.
In case you were wondering, art is not like riding a bike.
It doesn’t just come pouring back in quite like other things in life might.
My hope is that I can get comfortable enough with my art again that I can work for myself.
It’s something I can do while I’m on tour with the guys, and wherever else this new life might take me.
Ari hops onto the stage with his long legs like it takes absolutely no effort, and when he sees me glance over—because he always sees me—he offers me a mischievous grin that makes me think things I probably shouldn’t.
I mean, I think Ari’s into me like that, but he hasn’t made a move.
I would have expected we would already have reached the point where he starts getting a little asshole-ish, just like all the other men I’ve been with.
But he hasn’t.
He’s kind and patient. He’s thoughtful and charming.
I can’t help but wonder if I read his kindness wrong, and he’s only doing this to be the good guy that saves me from my horrible relationship . . .