4. Bailey
“Come on,Bales. It’ll be fun, Bales,” I whispered sarcastically to myself as I threaded my way out of Sam’s parent’s lake house. The party was too loud. I needed some space. The pierextending over the edge of the lake was empty. It was dark, but I made my way outside anyway. The stars were incredible out here. Too bad I was too irritated to enjoy them.
Why did I let Jamie talk me into these things? I would have been better off watching a movie on my laptop at home. He didn’t need me. Not with half the female population at our school panting after him. Why did he insist on dragging me with him when we both knew he would dump me for twenty minutes in heaven with some other girl? And why did I let him?
Things were changing. Things had changed. It all began last year with the school’s student athletic trainer, Allie Brown.
Allie was a senior like us. She and Jamie had a class together,and Jamie formed a crush for the first time in forever. On Allie.
The only problem, other than my gag reflex whenever he spoke her name, was the fact that Allie was secretly in unrequited love. And who could blame her? Connor Sanders was the poster child for super-hot jocks. He was the star quarterback of the football team and gorgeous. And he and Allie had been friends for years.
I felt kind of bad, though. Jamie really thought he had a chance with Allie. And as much as it hurt to see the object of my own unrequited love crushing on someone else, I loved Jamie enough to want to see him happy, and it sucked when things didn’t work out for him. Jamie was a good guy, though. He knew Allie was in love with Connor, and once it became apparent Connor returned her feelings, Jamie stepped away. He wanted Allie to be happy.
I wish that had been it. But it wasn’t. Jamie suffered another blow toward the end of the last school year, a much bigger one than getting beat out by the quarterback for a cute girl. Jamie’s dad passed away after taking a fall during his annual rock climbing trip with his college buddies.
I was there when Jamie found out about his dad. I’d never seen my best friend so broken. The last weeks of school had been hard. Jamie suffered from grief while caring for his mom, who’d been devastated. It was a terrible time.
When summer hit, Jamie’s mom lost herself in her writing. Jamie worried about her. We’d all, the three of us, heard her crying long into the night in her room. At first, Jamie tried to talk to her, comfort her, but it didn’t take long to realize she needed to work through her grief her own way.
As for Jamie, he sought solace in being gone. I understood. He didn’t want to be where he would be constantly reminded of all he’d lost. He took a job over the summer, working full time at his dad’s former accounting firm, filing paperwork and whatever else they needed. And at night, he went to parties. That’s when the NCMO started.
Non-committal make-out. It made my stomach knot just thinking about it. Not that I couldn’t understand the appeal. Of course, I could. And Jamie was pretty upfront about not looking for a relationship. I just didn’t think it was nice to use someone as a distraction from your sorrow. And that’s what Jamie was doing.
Before last year, I wouldn’t have pegged Jamie for a NCMO kind of guy. He’d always been more of a relationship guy. But all that had changed. It was like commitment, girlfriend, and relationship had suddenly become curse words.And that meant disappointment for all the girls he kissed, hoping they’d be the one to change his mind.
He must be a fantastic kisser. He should be. He’d had enough practice. Dallin called Jamie a player. Player.
What was a player, anyway? I’ll tell you; they’re jerks who play with emotions for their own pleasure. I didn’t want to believe that’s what Jamie was doing. And it made me mad. It hurt.
“For what it’s worth, I don’t think he’s trying to be a jerk.”
I looked up. Dallin was making his way toward me on the long pier. Dallin. At first, when we were still kids, I hadn’t wanted to like Dallin. He’d moved in across the street when Jamie and I were in the third grade. I’d been so terrified the new boy would steal away my best friend that I’d tried to freeze him out. It was no use. Mostly because he was so friendly, he made it impossible not to like him. That, and he never tried to shut me out. He wanted us all to be friends.
“It’s none of my business.” We’d had this conversation ad nauseam.
Dallin sat beside me, close enough for me to feel the warmth from his body but not so close that we touched.
Things would have been easier if Dallin and I had liked each other. It would take so little effort, too. We’d even kissed a couple of years ago. Jamie had gone to his grandparents’ house over Christmas break. Dallin and I spent a lot of time together—more than we ever had before—without Jamie. One night we were at his house late, watching a movie. There’d been this odd tension building between us all during the break. We snuggled a little on the couch, held hands, and then he kissed me.
It was...nice. But kind of like kissing a sibling. Or a cousin. For both of us. I watched him closely afterward because I worried he’d only agreed it was weird because he could tell I wasn’t into it.
We even gave it a second shot when he walked me home that night. We both backed away with matching expressions of embarrassment and disgust.
The kiss had changed nothing between us. It was as if it had never happened. We were still just friends.
And we both agreed never to breathe a word about it to Jamie. To my knowledge, neither of us had. Somehow, though, we became better friends. Maybeit was because we didn’t have to worry about risking our friendship for a romantic relationship. There were certain things I could tell Dallin I would never tell Jamie. It wasn’t worth it. I couldn’t risk my friendship with Jamie or jeopardize the possibility of something more.
Dallin snorted. “That doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. For you.”
His gaze was direct, and I wanted to hide. Dallin rarely called me out like that. He liked to keep things light and superficial.He didn’t often dig deeper.
“I don’t know what you mean.” It was a lie, and we both knew it.
Dallin snorted again. “Dude’s completelyclueless.”
I smirked because it was ironic. Between the three of us, Jamie wasn’t usually the clueless one.
“Whatever.” I shrugged. “I’ve always tried to be one of the guys. It happens when your best friends are two dudes.” And the last thing I ever wanted was to lose that friendship. It meant everything to me.
“Still, even I figured out you were a girl.” One corner of Dallin’s mouth lifted in a cocky half-grin.
I smiled despite my shock that he’d referred to that night, even vaguely. We’d never mentioned it.
“Gosh, wouldn’t it have been so much easier if we’d fallen madly in love that night?” I nudged his shoulder with mine.
“I don’t know. I think I like my single status.” He put his arm around me.
I snuggled into his chest because who was I to deny myself some friendly affection, and smiled when he kissed the top of my head. Dallin was a great guy.
Too bad I was in love with a player.