7. Ghost #3
“So, if you were going to sit across from me to ask me whether there’s parts of me you don’t know…” A humorless laugh left me, “there is.”
For a moment, neither one of us said anything. Then she surprised me.
“You being the protector that you are is what I always admired.”
My eyes lifted to hers, and she shrugged slightly.
“Everybody loves you.”
She added before a small smile touched her lips.
“Not because they’re scared of you,” she paused, “because you take care of people.”
Then she said the part I already knew was coming.
“That’s why I love Tahari.”
I closed my eyes briefly. Of course, that’s where she went with it. A quiet huff left me as I leaned back in my chair. I watched her expression change. The confidence she once had disappeared and uncertainty appeared.
Slowly, her eyes started filling with tears. She wasn’t crying, not yet. It was just enough moisture for me to see where this was headed. Her voice came out smaller this time.
“Daddy…”
I already knew the question before she asked it. I already knew that she must have heard this story from Tahari already, but I’m certain that she wanted to hear my side of things.
“Did you shoot him?”
The room went completely silent. I stared at my daughter.
And for the first time since this whole thing started, I realized what she wanted.
She didn’t want the truth. She wanted anything but that shit.
She wanted me to say no. She wanted there to be some misunderstanding.
Some explanation that fixed everything, but there wasn’t one.
And I couldn’t lie to her. Not about this.
So, I nodded. Just once and slowly before my lips parted.
“Yeah.”
The tears immediately spilled over. It wasn’t dramatic, but I could see the pain in her eyes.
“Why?”
Seeing her this way choked me up a bit, so I sniffed back tears that started welling in my own damn eyes.
I couldn’t take any shortcuts with this.
There was no more protecting her from the ugly parts.
If she was going to understand why I shot Tahari, then she had to understand everything.
I leaned back in my chair and rubbed my hand across my jaw. Damn, I gotta come clean.
There wasn’t really a clean way to tell this story.
So, I didn’t try. I told her all about my past of being in the streets.
Then I jumped from then to telling her exactly what had happened with Tahari.
I told her about the robberies at the auto shop.
I told her about the footage I saw recognizing Tahari.
And then I told her about me confronting him.
By the time I finished talking, Maliah was quiet.
Her eyes stayed locked on the floor for a few seconds before she finally looked back up at me.
“Maybe he didn’t know.”
A small laugh left me because that was almost word for word what Tahari had said.
“That’s what he told me.”
Her shoulders relaxed slightly.
“Then I believe him.”
The answer came so quickly that I couldn’t help but shake my head. Of course she did. She loves this boy. I already knew that.
“Daddy, I know what he did was wrong. I’m not saying it wasn’t.”
I stayed quiet and let her talk.
“But I believe him when he says he didn’t know it was yours.”
The conviction in her voice made it clear she wasn’t guessing. She had made up her mind already.
“And I want to move forward.”
“Move forward?” I said with a raised eyebrow.
She nodded.
“I want us to start fresh.”
I leaned back a little further in my chair.
“Us?”
“Me and him.”
A sigh escaped me. Even if he didn’t know that it was me, he was robbing that muthafucka was still a thief, and I had a lot of nice shit. I wouldn’t be able to trust his ass.
Maliah immediately leaned forward.
“People make mistakes. I’m sure you have made plenty in your life. Both lives.”
I stared at her, and she stared right back. Then she hit me with the one thing she knew I couldn’t argue with.
“You and Mama never had to start over?”
A laugh almost slipped out because if she only knew. Eternity and I had started over more times than I could count. There were years where that woman should’ve packed my stuff and put it on the lawn. But instead, she stayed. We worked through it together.
The memory made me shake my head, and Maliah saw it immediately.
“I knew it.”
“Don’t get excited,” I said while pointing at her.
That earned me the smallest smile. Then her eyes softened.
“Please, Daddy.”
There it was. The voice. The same one she used when she was little. The one that had probably gotten her out of trouble more times than it should have. I rubbed my hand across my face. I was already feeling myself losing the fight.
“Please.”
I stared at her for another second and then let out a breath.
“Aight.”
The smile that spread across her face was immediate. The crazy thing is I knew that she knew she had me way before I even agreed.
“Thank you,” she said as she started to lift out of her chair.
“Hold on.”
Immediately her smile faded because she knew there was more. She sat right back in her seat, and once she was settled, I opened my mouth.
“There will be no more sneaking around.”
“Okay,” she nodded.
“No more disappearing.”
“Okay,” another nod.
“And if that boy so much as breathes wrong, I want to know about it.”
“Daddy.”
“I’m serious.”
She rolled her eyes, and I ignored it.
“And I need to know where he lives.”
That got her attention immediately. Her expression shifted.
“I can show you one day.”
I narrowed my eyes. One day. I’d deal with that later.
For now, I let it go. Then another thought crossed my mind. I leaned back in my chair and pointed toward the door.
“You need to start setting a better example anyway.”
“What?” she frowned.
“A baby about to be in this house.”
The confusion on her face was immediate.
“A baby?”
I couldn’t help smiling.
“Yeah.”
Her eyes widened, then widened again.
“Wait.”
She sat up straighter.
“What?”
I laughed. A real laugh this time. Finally, I made it very clear what’s going to come.
“Your mama pregnant.”
For a second, Maliah just stared at me. Like the words hadn’t registered. Then her mouth fell open. And just like that, the conversation stopped being about Tahari entirely.
“Ahhhhh!” she squealed, “I need to go talk to Mama!”
She sprang from her chair, and then I nodded to the door for her to go.
“Mama!” I heard her yell once she got into the hall.
I leaned back in the chair and then laughed before letting a sigh slip. Having growing kids was stressing me the fuck out, and here I was about to start all the fuck over again.