16. Bleek
Bleek
The smell of hot grease had filled the house before noon.
Eternity had been talking about fried fish since yesterday, so here I was standing over the stove on a Saturday evening, making sure my pregnant wife got exactly what she wanted.
Marriage taught me a lot of things, and one of them was simple: When your pregnant wife wants something, you make it happen.
Music played in the background, and this was my shit.
Get me out into the nighttime
Four walls won’t hold me tonight
If this town is just an apple
Then let me take a bite
If they say why?
“Why?”
I sang along with Michael Jackson as I carefully laid another piece of seasoned whiting into the grease before stepping back as it crackled.
“Daddy!”
I looked over my shoulder.
“What?”
Maylee was leaning against the kitchen island with a handful of grapes.
“You’re burning it.”
“I’ve been frying fish longer than you’ve been alive.”
“I’m just trying to help,” she said with a shrug.
“You can help by getting out of my kitchen.”
She popped another grape into her mouth and then took a seat at the island counter.
“I’ll think about it.”
I laughed under my breath. Maylee was something else. MJ walked in carrying a bottle of water before taking a seat beside her. He was poking her in the neck and singing along to the song.
“Tell ‘em that it’s human nature.”
I pointed at him.
“Why… why?” I joined in.
“Stop poking me!” Maylee said to him with a giggle before joining in with us singing, “I like living this way.”
“I like loving this wayyy,” I sang out.
“Pops, I seen Penelope again.”
I smiled and turned back around to the stove to check on the fish.
“Here you go.”
“What?” MJ asked.
“You done brought that little girl up every day since school started.”
“I have not,” he said defensively.
“You have,” Maylee pointed at him. “I heard you talking to Maliah about her too.”
MJ looked offended.
“So?”
“So, you got a crush,” Maylee said with excitement in her voice.
“I don’t.”
“You do. MJ and Penelope sitting in a tree… k-i-s-s-i-n-g,” she started teasing him.
“Ugh,” he groaned, “go to your room or something.”
I flipped another piece of fish before finally turning around to look at him.
“You do have a crush, son, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I noticed it when we were in the administration office signing you up for school.”
“I knew it! I knew it! MJ’s got a crush,” Maylee teased.
He playfully mushed her.
“Man, shut up.”
“I’ve seen that look before,” I said to him.
“When?”
“When I met your mama.”
That earned me a look from Eternity as she walked into the kitchen, rubbing her stomach. These kids had no idea that when I first met her, bullets were flying around us, but that’s a story for another time.
“You had googly eyes?” she asked with a smile on her face.
“I still do,” I smiled.
She jokingly rolled her eyes, but I caught the smile she tried to hide.
“Keep frying my fish,” she playfully ordered.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Maliah came bouncing down the stairs with a little more excitement than she’d probably admit to. She glanced toward the front door before checking the time on her phone. I raised an eyebrow.
“Are you expecting somebody?”
She tried to play it off.
“No.”
I looked at Eternity.
“You believe that?”
She laughed.
“Not one bit.”
Maliah sucked her teeth.
“Y’all so nosy,” she whined.
I looked toward the clock hanging above the stove.
“Tahari supposed to be here soon, ain’t he?” I asked.
A smile spread across her face before she could stop it.
“Maybe...”
I chuckled and turned back toward the stove. Young love. There wasn’t anything quite like it.
The doorbell echoed through the house. Since giving him this second chance, I could see that he wasn’t playing with it. I had loosened the reins a little. Not all the way, but enough to where everyone could feel a bit more comfortable.
“I got it!” Maliah called out before anybody else had a chance to move.
When they both stepped back into the kitchen, Tahari smiled and spoke to everybody, but something about his energy felt off.
He even thanked Eternity for letting him come over.
To anybody else, it probably looked normal, but it didn’t to me.
I watched him a little longer while turning another piece of fish over in the grease.
Usually, the first thing that boy did was find Maliah with his eyes. Today, he barely looked at her.
“Tahari.”
He turned toward me.
“Yes, sir?”
I nodded toward the sliding glass door.
“Come sit outside with me for a minute.”
His eyes searched mine for a second before he nodded.
“Yes, sir.”
I set the tongs down on a plate.
“Ma?”
Eternity looked over.
“Watch my fish.”
“I got it.”
She gave me this look like she wanted to know what this was about, but I just gave her a reassuring nod to silently let her know that things were good. I slid the back door open, and Tahari followed me outside.
The backyard was quiet. The only sounds were birds somewhere in the distance and the faint crackle of grease drifting through the open kitchen window. I slipped both hands into my pockets.
“You alright?”
“Yeah.”
He answered too fast, so I looked at him.
“Try again.”
There was a moment of silence as he stared out across the backyard instead of looking at me.
“How you know something wrong?”
A small smile tugged at the corner of my mouth.
“Because ever since you walked through that front door you ain’t looked at my daughter but maybe twice.”
His head dropped.
“Damn,” he sighed out.
“I notice everything,” I said.
“I see that.”
We stood outside in silence. I was giving him time to gather his thoughts. I wanted him to talk when he was ready. There was no rush here.
“I found out something today,” he finally said, “it has something to do with my daddy.”
My expression softened. It looked like he was battling with whatever news he was given.
“I ain’t asking you to tell me.”
He looked over.
“I appreciate that.”
“But whatever it is, it’s wearing you down.”
“It is. I just…” He rubbed both hands over his face. “I don’t even know how to process it.”
I understood that feeling better than most. Finding out some shit was one thing, but trying to navigate your way through dealing with it was something totally different.
“You ain’t gotta figure it out today.”
His eyes met mine.
“And whatever it is. Don’t make the mistake of carrying it by yourself.”
He looked away again.
“I’ve been carrying it by myself all afternoon,” he admitted.
“I can tell.”
A light breeze passed between us. After another long silence, I spoke again.
“When you’re ready, my backyard ain’t going nowhere.”
He looked back at me. For the first time since he’d gotten here, I saw a little of the weight leave his shoulders.
“Thank you, Mr. Browne.”
I nodded once.
“You ready to go back in there?”
He took a deep breath before looking toward the house.
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
I clapped him on the shoulder.
“My wife has been waiting on this fish all day.”
A small laugh escaped him.
“I’d hate to be the reason she waits any longer to get it.”
“You’re a smart man,” I said with a chuckle.
Together, we headed back toward the house. I watched Tahari the rest of dinner.
To everybody else, he blended in just fine.
He laughed when MJ and Maylee started going back and forth, complimented the fish, and even smiled a few times.
But I knew better. Whatever that boy had found out, it was still sitting on his shoulders.
Dinner slowly came to an end as chairs scooted back from the table, and everybody carried their own plates into the kitchen.
I stayed behind for a second, gathering the serving dishes while Eternity reminded Maylee not to leave her cup sitting on the table again.
“Mr. Browne?”
I looked up.
“What’s up?”
Tahari glanced toward Maliah before bringing his eyes back to me.
“Would it be alright if I talked to her outside for a minute?”
I held his gaze for a second, then I gave him a small nod.
“Go ahead.”
“Thank you, sir.”
I watched Maliah follow him toward the sliding glass door. The moment it closed behind them, I found myself watching the backyard instead of cleaning up. Eternity walked up beside me.
“You alright?”
I nodded toward the glass.
“That boy is carrying something heavy.”
She looked outside.
“You think he’ll tell her?”
“If he asked to talk to my daughter, I hope so.”
She rested against my side.
“You’ve gotten attached to him.”
I smiled to myself because, against my better judgment, I had.
“I respect him, and I respect the way he looks at her.”
My eyes never left the backyard.
“I just hope that whatever happened doesn’t change him.”
MALIAH
The second the sliding glass door closed behind us, I knew something was wrong.
Tahari didn’t say a word. He just kept walking toward the same spot Daddy always stood whenever something was weighing on him. I slipped my hand into his, and he squeezed it. But not the way he usually did. This was a firm one like he was trying to hold himself together.
“Tahari…”
He stared out across the backyard for a long moment before finally speaking.
“Ghost’s mother told me something today.”
My eyebrows pulled together.
“What did she say?”
He let out a slow breath before finally turning to face me.
“You remember how I told you my daddy used to look out for Ghost when we were growing up?”
I nodded.
“You said he treated him like family.”
“I thought he was just trying to help a little boy that didn’t have much,” he laughed once.
“Tahari…”
He looked away again.
“My whole life I thought my daddy was just being a good man. I found out today that wasn’t why.”
I didn’t interrupt him because I could tell he was trying to find the words. When he finally looked back at me, his eyes were glassy. I could tell that tears were on the verge of falling.
“Ghost is my brother.”
I frowned.
“You’ve always called each other brothers.”
He slowly shook his head.
“No, I mean he’s my biological brother.”
For a second, I forgot how to breathe.
“What?”
This was shocking to me, so I knew that the news was devastating to him. He swallowed hard.
“We got the same daddy.”
I stared at him, waiting for him to tell me he was joking, but he didn’t.
“My daddy had an affair with Ms. Gia.”
Lately, I could see the separation between him and Ghost. He talked about him less, and then the other night when he called, Tahari rushed out of the living room to have a conversation with him. I could tell that talking about him was a sensitive topic for Tahari.
“Does Ghost know?” I asked.
He shook his head.
“No. You’re the second person to know.”
I was honored that he had trusted me with this. He didn’t have to say anything, but he felt the need to confide in me.
“So, you’ve just been carrying this around by yourself all day?”
He nodded.
“I ain’t know who to tell.”
Without thinking, I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around him.
He needed love more than anything, especially right now.
When he hugged me back, he held on tight.
It was like if he let go, everything he’d been trying to hold together would finally fall apart.
I stayed wrapped around him for another second before slowly pulling back. My eyes searched his face.
“Are you going to tell him?” I asked.
Tahari looked past me toward the backyard.
“I don’t know.”
His answer barely rose above a whisper.
“I don’t even know how.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. I watched his thumb move across the screen until it stopped. Ghost. His contact sat there waiting. All he had to do was press the button. His thumb hovered over the call icon for several long seconds. Then, the screen went black.
He locked the phone and slid it back into his pocket.
“I just…” he shook his head, “I can’t.”
I reached for his hand again.
“You don’t have to figure everything out tonight.”
He looked at me and gave the smallest nod.
“I know.”
We just stood there together while the sounds of my family drifted through the open kitchen window. He was able to tell somebody about this, and for now that was enough.