18. Ghost
Ghost
If there was one thing I’d learned over the past couple of months, it was that guilt had a way of making you question everything.
Things that never used to bother me suddenly felt different, like a car sitting behind me too long at a red light.
Or somebody slowing down beside me on the highway.
Even pulling into a drive-thru had become something I couldn’t do without checking my mirrors three or four times first. I eased my black Camry into the Checkers drive-thru and glanced in the rearview mirror before rolling down my window.
A white dude in a white pickup truck sat behind me. Behind him was an older woman in a silver SUV. Neither one of them paid me any attention. Still… I looked twice. The speaker crackled to life.
“Welcome to Checkers. Go ahead whenever you’re ready.”
The sudden voice pulled me out of my thoughts.
“Yeah, let me get a Big Buford combo, large fries, and a large Sprite.”
As the cashier repeated my order back to me, my eyes kept drifting toward the mirrors. It had gotten so bad that I didn’t even realize I was doing it anymore.
Ever since Reemo, it felt like I had somebody looking over my shoulder everywhere I went.
The crazy part was I couldn’t tell if it was my conscience or if it was Ryan.
This man was the FBI, and I was playing in his face.
He could have detail trailing me, and I would never know.
I paid for my food, thanked the cashier, and pulled into one of the parking spaces near the edge of the lot.
I’d barely unwrapped my burger before my phone started ringing. I already knew who it was.
Ryan
His name lit up the screen while the phone vibrated against the center console. I watched it ring until it stopped.
“I still don’t got shit for ya ass,” I mumbled before taking a bite of my burger. A few seconds later, my phone buzzed again. This time it was a text.
Ryan: You’re making this harder than it has to be.
I locked the screen without responding and picked my burger back up, only for my phone to vibrate again. I let out an irritated breath before looking again.
Ryan: We need to talk
“Nah.”
I deleted the message and took another bite. By the time I swallowed, the phone buzzed for a third time. Something about that one made me stop chewing. I picked the phone up and brought it close to my face.
Ryan: I know you stop at this Checkers every Thursday.
Every muscle in my body locked up. I slowly lifted my head and scanned the parking lot.
A man in a reflective construction vest climbed into his truck.
The older woman in the silver SUV was talking on her phone.
Two teenagers walked inside laughing about something.
Nobody looked suspicious, but that didn’t mean anything.
Ryan had already proven he knew more about me than he should.
I looked back down at the message before locking my phone and tossing it onto the passenger seat.
My appetite disappeared. The burger I’d been looking forward to suddenly didn’t matter anymore.
I shifted gears and pulled out of the parking lot.
I was checking my mirrors every few seconds.
About a mile down the road, I noticed that same silver SUV a few cars behind me.
My fingers tightened around the steering wheel. I made a right turn. The SUV made the same turn.
“Come on…”
I muttered under my breath. I took another right and so did the SUV.
My heart started pounding harder against my chest. By the time I made my third turn, sweat had gathered in my palms. I was reaching down into my side door for my gun.
Whoever the fuck this was that was following me was about to get their truck lit the fuck up.
Then, just as quickly as my panic had started, the SUV drove straight through the next intersection.
I watched it disappear until I couldn’t see it anymore before finally letting out the breath I’d been holding.
I leaned back against the seat and laughed to myself.
It wasn’t Ryan. It was just another person trying to get home.
The problem was Ryan didn’t have to be sitting in the car behind me anymore.
He’d already found a way to ride with me everywhere I went.
I was paranoid, and now I could admit that shit.
I didn’t realize how tight my shoulders were until I finally pulled into my apartment complex.
The second I parked, I scanned the lot out of habit before killing the engine.
Nobody looked out of place. That didn’t mean I relaxed.
I grabbed my food, headed upstairs, and unlocked the apartment door.
The smell of garlic and onions hit me the second I stepped inside.
Mama was home. She looked up from the stove when she heard the door close behind me. She turned around to face me and was wiping her hands on the kitchen towel.
“There you are,” she said with a smile.
“What’s up, pretty lady?”
She hesitated for a second, and she was staring at me. I knew what my mother looked like when she was trying to read my ass, and this look was it.
“You talked to Tahari lately?” she finally let out.
I frowned.
“No.”
“He hasn’t spoken to you?” she asked again.
“I just said no.”
My mother knew more than anybody that I hated repeating myself. She nodded slowly, almost like she was disappointed by the answer. I waited. When she didn’t say anything else, I raised an eyebrow.
“Is that all?”
She forced a small smile.
“Yeah, I was just wondering.”
I stood there another second, trying to figure out why she’d suddenly become so interested in whether Trigga and I had talked. Something felt off, but I was too mentally drained to press her about it.
“Aight.”
I carried my food down the hallway and shut my bedroom door behind me.
I tossed my keys onto the dresser before dropping onto the edge of my bed.
Mama wasn’t the only one who’d noticed. Over the last couple of months, I’d heard less from Trigga.
If I didn’t call him, sometimes a whole week would go by before I heard his voice.
I told myself that he was busy with work or school, but I knew better.
He was building a life that didn’t have room for me anymore.
I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees.
Every road I took somehow led back to the same place.
Maliah’s father. If we never would’ve hit MBs Auto, Ryan would’ve never come looking for me because we would never have gotten our hands on some bricks that belonged to a cartel.
Tahari would’ve never gotten that job. Shit, maybe the real problem was Maliah.
If Trigga never dated the bitch none of this would be happening.
And he damn sure wouldn’t be choosing that family over the one he’d been riding with his whole life.
I laughed to myself, but there wasn’t anything funny about it.
What was humorous was how two little robberies could change everything.
It changed everything for me but changed nothing for that nigga.
Maliah’s dad still had his business. Still had his wife.
Still had his kids. Still had his money.
Meanwhile, I was looking over my shoulder every time I left the house, wondering if the next car behind me belonged to the FBI.
Against my better judgment, I picked it up anyway. I stared at Tahari’s name for a long moment before locking the screen again.
“Nah…”
I muttered, shaking my head.
“You made your choice.”
I just have to make mine.
TRIGGA
The Brownes’ backyard looked like something straight out of a magazine.
Cream, tan, and white balloons framed the back patio while oversized teddy bears sat in every corner of the yard.
A wooden sign near the dessert table read: We Can Bearly Wait.
Everything matched. Even the guests. Everybody had shown up dressed in white just like Mrs. Browne had asked.
Music floated through the backyard while kids darted between the tables, laughing and chasing one another with little plastic bubbles.
I smiled to myself. This was nice, real nice.
It wasn’t over the top, and it wasn’t trying to impress anybody.
It was simply a family coming together to celebrate the newest addition before anybody else in the backyard even knew whether Baby Browne was a little boy or a little girl.
For a moment, I just stood there taking it all in.
Maliah slipped her fingers between mine as we walked farther into the backyard.
“You made it.”
I looked down at her.
“You invited me,” I said with a smile.
She bumped my shoulder with hers playfully.
“I wouldn’t have missed it,” I added.
She smiled before Maylee came rushing over and immediately pulled her away to show her something on one of the gift tables.
I laughed to myself and let my eyes wander around the yard.
Sha stood near the grill with a drink in his hand, laughing at something his wife had just said before she playfully nudged him with her shoulder.
Their kids were running circles around the backyard with the rest of the little ones, completely ignoring every adult who told them to slow down.
Then the sliding doors that led to the backyard opened.
A brown-skinned man with tattoos stepped through first. He was holding the door open for the dark-skinned woman with striking green eyes who now walked beside him.
Before I could wonder who they were, Mr. Browne spotted them.
“Nigga you said you couldn’t come to the States,” he said with a bright smile.
The man grinned.
“You know I be lying and shit,” he said as they embraced each other.
Everybody around them laughed. Suddenly, Maliah found her way back to my side.
“That’s my Uncle Ty and my aunt Toya. They live in the Dominican Republic,” she said in a whisper.
Watching them joke around should’ve made me smile. It was a moment of what seemed to be brothers being reunited. Yet my chest tightened. I couldn’t stop thinking about Ghost.