Chapter 12 Gia Baxter
Gia Baxter
When Giovani walked out of the kitchen and headed toward his room, I felt like I could breathe a little easier.
He was so much like his father that sometimes it made me sick.
He would fix his face a certain way, and all I saw was his dad.
I hated lying to my son, but my number one priority was to always protect him.
I couldn’t just lie his entire life and then turn around and start being truthful.
The facts of Giovani being Theo Reynolds’s first son died when he did.
Back then, I hated myself for having an affair with a married man, but more than that, I hated that I made a living product because of it.
Theo begged me to get rid of Giovani, but I couldn’t do it.
I was grown enough to lie down and conceive a baby, so I was going to be grown enough to have it.
Theo was twelve years my senior, and his wife was two years younger than him.
He begged me to get rid of Giovani because our baby would be proof that he was having an affair.
After he failed at convincing me to get rid of my baby, Theo set me up in this very apartment.
Staying with my mom and eight siblings wouldn’t do.
Plus, I didn’t have the best relationship with my family anyway.
My mother preferred to put men over her own children, and well, my younger siblings made Bebe kids look like saints.
Running off to my own apartment seemed better than staying in an overcrowded two-bedroom house with all of them.
Things were nice in the beginning, that was until Theo’s wife got wind of the affair.
She found out about us a little after Tahari was born.
Theo stopped coming around as much, but would still pay the rent.
I made it my business to attend nursing school because just as quickly as he distanced himself, he could turn the money faucet off as well.
And there was no way that I was going back to my mother’s house.
I haven’t spoken to anyone under that roof in years anyway.
Theo didn’t come back into the picture permanently until Giovani was six or so.
He would take him to play basketball in the park with Tahari, his new son.
He was doing everything that a dad would do.
We just didn’t acknowledge him as one. Everyone in the neighborhood knew that his wife had started to succumb to a drinking problem.
I’m sure living with the fact that your husband had an affair with a woman ten years younger than you and got her pregnant would do that.
Life was going as good as it was going to get.
Giovani had a father figure, the bills were paid, and I was in school.
They were good until they weren’t. Meeting Jason on the way home from school one day wasn’t on my bingo card, and then later dating him wasn’t on my list of things to do for that year.
But it just happened. In the beginning, like most relationships that start out with that fiery burn, it was perfect.
He would drive me home from school on nights when I went.
And even buy me flowers randomly. I was even considering letting him meet Giovani.
Unfortunately, we didn’t even make it that far because jealousy started to peek once he knew about just how active Theo was in Giovani’s life.
A damn fatherless man, envious of another man trying to be a father, was so hateful.
Accusations turned into anger. Suspicions turned into slaps, and his version of belittling me left bruises on my skin.
One day, I didn’t answer the house phone because I was outside with Theo and the boys while he was showing them both how to ride bikes.
Jason didn’t like that much. When I got in and returned his call, he was threatening me.
I knew him well enough to know that each threat was a promise.
The day had passed, and when the sun started to go down, Theo left with Tahari.
I got Giovani ready for bed and was standing in the kitchen enjoying a little me time when I heard a knock on the door.
I could tell that by the way the balled fist banged on the frame who it was.
I could tell that he was angry. Without hesitation, I dialed Theo’s number and then set the phone down.
When I first told Theo about Jason being abusive, he didn’t believe it.
Most people wouldn’t because he didn’t even look like the type.
He was always clean-cut, dressed nicely, and spoke properly in conversation.
But he showed me how looks can be oh so deceiving.
Whether Theo answered the phone or not, I’m sure his answering machine would pick up and hear exactly what I had been explaining to him for months: that this man was the devil reincarnated.
I jumped at the bang coming from my front door.
Any other woman would have let his ass keep banging, but as the noise got louder, I didn’t want the sound to wake Giovani.
Shit, any other woman would have called the police, but it would have taken them all of three business days to even come out.
I didn’t live in the best area. When Theo first moved me here, I was grateful because, although it wasn’t in the nice area where he lived, it was better than where I had come from.
I sighed as I dragged my feet from the tiles of the kitchen over the carpet of the living room.
When I opened the door for Jason, he instantly started yelling. I could smell the E&J on his breath.
“You didn’t answer my damn calls because you were with him, huh?”
He wasted no time getting straight to the point.
He always tried to make things about Theo.
He was so damn jealous of him. A man being jealous when he was out in the streets doing whatever was so crazy to me.
He could fuck the entire state, but wanted to micromanage me.
I blocked out half of the argument because this was the norm for us.
I wasn’t even able to get a full sentence out before he slapped me down to the floor.
I wasn’t expecting his work boot to come immediately after.
Balling in a fetal position was all that I could do.
I could feel my eye swelling shut. With each kick, I felt like I was losing a little bit of my life.
I remember the very first time he put his hands on me, I fought hard, and I mean Tina Turner in the back of the limo hard.
But as the abuse continued, the fight in me started to diminish.
The room was spinning, and I was sure that I was going to pass out any minute if he didn’t stop stomping on me.
I heard muffled yelling, and then I thought my eardrum had popped when I heard a loud boom, but I knew something else was up when I saw Jason’s body hit the carpet with a hard thud right beside me.
I tried my best to see what was going on through my good eye.
He looked blurry from the blood in my eyes, but I knew it was him because I was looking directly into his hazel eyes.
Next thing I knew, Theo’s face came in between Jason and me, and he was helping me off the floor.
He cupped the bottom of my chin and then turned my face from side to side.
“Sssss,” he hissed as he examined me.
Frantically, I was looking around to try to make sense of what just happened. When I looked down, I saw that Jason was lying face down on the carpet with crimson blood pooling around his body. I gasped and then reached down to touch him, but Theo grabbed both my hands.
“No, Gia. Listen to me, and don’t say a word while I’m talking. Go wash up and get into bed. I will handle this.”
I looked at him with tears in my eyes. I didn’t know how to feel. Honestly, knowing that the body on my living room floor was lifeless gave me a sense of relief.
“Gia!” he grabbed me by the shoulders. He was gentle even when he was trying to be forceful, “do it now.”
He let go of me, and I rushed off to do exactly what he told me to.
Once I was inside the bathroom with the door closed behind me, I had a good cry.
And I mean the ugly girl cry. The kind of cry that chokes you up and sounds trapped in your chest. I don’t even think that I was crying because Jason was dead.
The tears were joyful because I was finally free.
Free from his bullshit and free from the toxic cycle I had put myself in.
I dealt with so much shit with him because I wanted somebody.
Theo had someone, even if at times it seemed like he didn’t want her.
He had a wife, and I wanted that for me one day.
I stood in the shower until the crimson pool at my feet turned pink and then cleared.
I took my time washing my face because the water alone stung like hell.
When I got out of the shower, I wrapped my towel around my body and then tucked it under my arms. I used my hand to wipe the fog off the mirror, and when I did, I cringed at my appearance.
My right eye was swollen shut, and my lip was busted.
Not to mention that I was sure my ribs were bruised.
After giving myself another moment of solitude, slowly, I opened the bathroom door.
When I did, the steam that was in the air started to seep out into the hall.
I walked carefully toward the living room, expecting to see Theo still there.
He was gone, and so was my living room carpet.
The fibers from the carpet padding sat ugly on the floor.
Before making my way to my bedroom, I had to check on my baby boy.
All the commotion that just occurred in the living room was loud, but so was the neighborhood, so I hoped that worked in my favor.
I slowly opened Giovani’s door to check on him.
There was no way the sound of the gun had woken him.
In our neighborhood, unfortunately, that was the norm.
He was bundled under his Tasmanian Devil blanket.
I slowly tiptoed over his floor and then reached down to kiss the top of his head.
His braids were all over the place. I stared at him for a bit before making my exit.
Slowly, I closed his room door so that it wouldn’t make a noise and wake him up.
I stood choked up in my kitchen, thinking of the memory.
Thinking of the night that I was saved. I didn’t even realize that I was crying until my hand involuntarily wiped away a tear.
This is why, when Theo died, I took Tahari in.
His mother wasn’t shit. And the night he came to live with us, and Giovani told me what she had done to Tahari, I wasted no time scouring the streets for her and then whooping her ass.
I caught her outside of a damn liquor store.
She was drunk and looking like a damn mess.
I don’t even think she knew Theo was dead.
It didn’t even matter because I whooped her ass until I was musty.
And then while she was on the floor still clutching her Vodka bottle, I told her ass that she better stay the fuck away from Tahari.
Being a mother was a sacred thing. I almost died giving birth to Giovani, so I didn’t play with my role as his mother. As a mother, period.
Tahari literally had nobody but us. He needed family, and he had family.
I just hadn’t brought myself to tell the two of them that they were brothers.
I remember when they were both little, if I was outside with them, people would naturally assume that Tahari belonged to me, too.
They both had the same brown skin complexion that Theo had.
Giovani had grown his hair out and had locs, just as Theo once had.
What killed me more than anything is just how much Giovani acted like a man who didn’t raise him.
It had to be the genes. He walked like Theo and everything.
When he and Tahari would sit to eat, they even fucking ate alike.
They played the part. One didn’t move without the other.
Even now, I could tell that they were into something because, randomly, money would appear on my nightstand.
If they didn’t tell me, I wasn’t going to ask.
They were thicker than blood, although they were exactly that.
I feared that if they knew they were related biologically, the dynamics would change between them.
Tahari grew up in a two-parent household, and here I was just a single mother with Giovani.
I didn’t want any animosity to grow on my son’s part with this information.
He asked so many times when he was growing up who his father was.
A piece of my heart broke that I never had the guts to tell him.
Sooner or later, I had to sit them both down and reveal this secret.