Chapter 14
Trigga
After slamming the door harder than I intended to, I pulled off before the engine even had time to settle into a smooth idle.
Gravel kicked up behind me as I hit the gas, putting distance between me and that shop, between Ghost and me, between me and everything that just happened.
My hands were tight on the wheel as I drove.
My jaw was locked tightly as I ground my teeth together, and my chest still rose a little too fast. I was heated.
The ski mask felt suffocating now, like it was pressing everything I was trying not to think about deeper into my head.
I yanked it off with one hand and tossed it into the backseat, not even looking to see where it landed.
For a second, I just drove. I had no destination in mind.
And I didn’t have a plan. I knew that I would have to stay in a hotel tonight because there was no way that I could go back to Ms. Gia’s house.
Not to stay anyway. I needed to go and grab some of my things, though.
Whatever the fuck just happened between Ghost and me was final.
I guess getting my own spot is a priority for me now.
I was driving aimlessly with no true destination in mind.
The city looked different at that hour. It was past midnight when everything slowed down just enough for the real version of the city to show.
Streetlights stretched across empty roads and neon signs flickered over half-closed businesses.
I was surrounded by the kind of quiet that only came after chaos, and honestly, it should have helped clear my head, but it didn’t.
No matter how far I drove, I couldn’t outrun what I had just realized.
I had been secretly fucking over the best thing that had ever happened to me.
Maliah didn’t deserve shit like this. Her face stayed right there in my mind, clearer than anything in front of me.
Before I even realized what I was doing, I reached for my phone.
Her name sat right there like it always did.
Right in the favorites section of my phone, because I had given her access to me that no one else was given a chance to receive.
I stared at her contact longer than I should have.
My thumb hovered for a second, because a part of me already knew I shouldn’t be reaching out.
Not after tonight. Not after what I know now. But I did anyway.
You up?
The message was sent, and for a second, everything felt too quiet again. Like the whole city paused with me, waiting to see what came next. Waiting to see if she would even text back. It didn’t take long for her to respond.
Yeah… you okay?
I let out a slow breath as my head fell back slightly against the headrest before I responded.
Can you come outside?
Those three dots popped up almost instantly.
Everybody’s asleep. I can sneak out
I didn’t reply with anything long. Instead, I sent my location so that Maliah would know when I was outside. I then turned the car in the direction I already knew by heart. The drive felt shorter than it should have. Or maybe it was because I was speeding all the way to her.
By the time I pulled up, the neighborhood was tranquil, the kind of quiet that made every small sound feel bigger than it was.
I cut the engine but didn’t get out. I just sat there watching the house.
My thoughts were running in circles that I couldn’t get out of.
I really robbed her dad. This wasn’t supposed to go like this.
She wasn’t supposed to be tied to any of this.
The two lives were supposed to be separate and stay separate.
The streets and hers were supposed to be on two different spheres.
Two different worlds, yet I had unknowingly mushed them shits together, and I knew how quickly the shit could get messy.
And I’m talking about giving a toddler a can of ravioli and a spoon so they can feed themselves, messy.
I banged on the steering wheel in frustration.
“Fuck!” I let slip out.
My mind was all over the place. Deep down, I knew what I had to do to do what was best for Maliah, but that didn’t mean that I wanted to.
A few minutes passed before I saw movement.
Maliah came out of the side of the house, moving quickly but carefully.
She looked over her shoulder once before running full sprint to the gate.
She had on pajamas. It was a cute little two-piece striped pink and white set that I knew was from Victoria’s Secret, and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail like she had just thrown it up without thinking too hard about it. She was a natural beauty indeed.
She climbed the gate like she had done before, landing lightly on her feet before jogging over to the car. I unlocked the door, and she slid in, bringing that same energy with her that always made everything feel a little better.
“Are you okay?” she asked immediately, turning toward me. Her voice was low but full of concern. “What happened to your face?”
I looked at her. And for a moment, I had forgotten that Ghost and I had just fought. I had forgotten why I had driven over here and why I wanted to see her face-to-face. I really looked at her, and it made it harder to say anything at all.
Because sitting there, with her that close, it was easy to forget everything else.
Easy to pretend I wasn’t the same person who had just been inside her father’s business, taking from him like he was just another lick.
But I couldn’t pretend. I ran a hand over my face while exhaling slowly.
I was trying to find the right way to say something that wasn’t ever going to sound right.
I totally disregarded her asking about my appearance because it didn’t even fucking matter.
None of this mattered. What was important was that I could not do this with her.
I couldn’t sit in her face knowing what I had done to her dad.
Especially knowing just how much he meant to her.
“I’ve been thinking,” I started.
She didn’t interrupt. She just watched me with her round brown eyes while she waited.
And that made it worse. Because she trusted me enough to listen.
Trusted me enough to believe whatever I was about to say.
Trusted me enough to get a piece of her heart that I just knew she had never given to another soul.
I glanced away for a second, then back at her, knowing once I said it, there was no taking it back.
“I’m not who you think I am. Honestly, Mali, you deserve way better than me.”
Her brows lowered in confusion, and I knew that she had to be thinking, where was this coming from.
Before even finding out who I was robbing, I knew, though.
I knew that she was completely out of my fucking league to begin with.
Still, I pursued her. Still, I fell in love.
Still, I allowed her to fall in love with me.
I was a facade of a man that she thought she could get her happy ever after.
Finding this shit out didn’t do anything but confirm what I had been feeling for a while… I had no business being with her.
She turned in her seat to face me and then let a sigh escape her lips.
“Tahari… we had this conversation already. You are perfect, and you are everything that I need. You are all that I need.”
It sounded like she was pleading with me a bit, and that hurt more than deciding to leave her for her own good. The last thing that I wanted was for her to shrink herself. Not for me and not for anyone else.
“Maliah, I am telling you that I’m not. I can’t do this.”
Her brows pulled together slightly.
“Do what?”
Anybody else probably would have told her what I had done, but I knew that piece of information would break her just like this was about to.
Coming clean not only meant that I had to tell her about myself, but I also had to reveal her father’s secret as well.
And there was no way she knew that her dad was out here pushing bricks.
Keeping her heart intact and keeping her safe was always a priority for me.
This minor ache that she will feel from me deciding to leave her will pass.
What wouldn’t, is the feeling she would feel in her chest knowing that her dad had probably been lying to her all her life.
Or that I had done some shit like this to her dad.
I swallowed once, my jaw tightening before I forced the words out.
“I can’t see you anymore.”
MALIAH
For a second, I didn’t understand what he meant.
The words took a while to register, although I heard them, clear as day.
But my mind refused to attach meaning to them.
Like if I just sat there long enough and looked at him hard enough, maybe, just maybe, he’d take them back or explain them in a way that made sense.
Because they didn’t make sense. His words didn’t match the way he looked at me.
It didn’t go with everything I felt sitting between us.
My chest tightened slowly, like something inside me was being pulled too tight, too fast, and I couldn’t catch it in time to stop it.
“What?” My voice came out softer than I expected, almost like I was afraid to say it too loud and make it real.
He didn’t look away, and that made it worse.
“I feel like I have to get some shit straight with me, Mali. I can’t do this right now,” he said with his voice low but still heavy in a way that made my stomach drop even further.
Right now. That part stuck with me. Because it sounded temporary, but it didn’t feel like it. My eyes explored his face. I was looking for something, anything that told me this wasn’t what it sounded like. But all I saw was distance.
A wall that hadn’t been there before, or maybe it had been building, and I didn’t want to see it. Maybe I was in denial. And then it hit me. A thought I didn’t want to have but couldn’t stop forming.