Chapter 19
MJ
Ihad been deep in my sleep when my door swung open, and before I could even get my bearings, Pops’ voice spoke with the kind of authority that made it impossible to ignore.
He told me to get up and get dressed because we were going to the gun range, and that was all it took for me to shake off any leftover exhaustion.
I pushed myself up quickly, running a hand over my face as the weight of last night came rushing back to me, mixing with a sudden burst of energy that had nothing to do with sleep and everything to do with where we were headed.
I had already been restless before I fell asleep, my thoughts circling around what happened to Maliah and the fact that some nigga really thought he could put his hands on her and still wake up the next day like life was normal.
So, hearing Pops say we were going to the range had felt like more than just routine.
It had felt like preparation, like something was about to move, even if he hadn’t said it out loud.
I got up without hesitation and headed to the bathroom.
I brushed my teeth while staring at my reflection.
My eyes were focused in a way that told me I wasn’t letting this go.
After that, I threw on a pair of sweats, a hoodie, and my sneakers.
By the time I made my way downstairs, the smell of breakfast had already filled the house, letting me know Ma had been up for a while.
I stepped into the kitchen expecting the usual calm, but instead, I stopped just short when my eyes landed on Tahari sitting at the island.
He had been posted up on one of the stools, laughing at something Ma had just said while she stood at the stove cooking like everything around us hadn’t shifted overnight.
The sight alone had made my face twist before I could control it, because out of everything that happened, seeing him that comfortable in our space hadn’t sat right with me.
I felt like yanking his ass out of the chair and whooping his ass on full volume.
But I didn’t let my intrusive thoughts win because Ma was standing right there in front of us.
She had glanced over her shoulder when she noticed me.
“Morning, baby,” she said, her tone warm and steady like it always was.
“Morning,” I had replied, but my attention never left him.
Tahari had looked over at me, and I caught the slight change in his expression, like he could read exactly how I felt about him being there.
He greeted me anyway, casually like there wasn’t tension sitting right in the middle of the room, but I hadn’t returned it.
Instead, I pulled out a chair and sat down, leaning back as I continued to study him without saying a word.
Before anything else could build, Pops walked into the kitchen, and just like that, the atmosphere shifted.
His presence had a way of doing that, making everything feel more serious without him having to say much.
He had looked at me and asked if I was ready, and I told him I had been ready.
I sat up a little straighter as I spoke because this was something I was excited about.
I loved going to the gun range with my father.
Then he mentioned that Tahari was coming with us.
At first, I thought I had heard him wrong, but when I looked at him and then at Tahari, it became clear that he meant exactly what he said.
I questioned him, not even trying to hide the edge in my tone.
Still, he stayed calm, answering me without any extra explanation, as if it wasn’t something that needed to be debated.
That was the part that had caught my attention more than anything.
Pops wasn’t the type to move without purpose, and he definitely wasn’t the type to include somebody in something like this without a reason behind it.
I started to see what it really was. Dad was feeling him out.
Watching him closely to see what he was made of and whether or not he measured up to whatever standard he had in his head.
I leaned back in my chair, folding my arms while I kept my eyes on Tahari, trying to ignore the fact that what I was feeling had a name I didn’t care to admit.
It had felt like my space was being shared without me agreeing to it.
I had always been the one beside Pops in moments like this, the one he brought along, the one he molded and trusted to move the way he expected, and now Tahari was about to step into that environment like he had a place there.
After a moment, I pushed my chair back and stood up, exhaling slowly as I worked to keep my composure in check.
If Pops was going to watch him and figure him out, then I had been planning to do the same thing.
The only difference was that I had no intention of looking for reasons to accept him.
By the time we made it to the range, the air had already lifted into something heavier than it was back at the house.
There was always a different kind of energy in a place like this, something focused and controlled, and usually, it was where Pops and I locked in without distractions.
Only this time, it wasn’t just us. Tahari stood a few feet away, taking everything in.
I stayed quiet while watching him out of the corner of my eye.
Pops moved like this was just another day, like there wasn’t anything unusual about who he brought along.
We stepped up to the lane, and Pops started pulling out what we needed.
I was used to the routine. I had already been ready, my hands were steady, my mind cleared in the way it always did when I was about to shoot.
This was something I didn’t have to think about.
It was second nature. What wasn’t, though, was what happened next.
Instead of starting with me like he always did, Pops turned his attention to Tahari.
“Come here,” he said, motioning him closer.
I watched Tahari step up without hesitation, his posture straightening just a little like he understood this wasn’t the time to play around.
Pops handed him the gun, but he didn’t just let him take it and figure it out.
He stayed right there, close enough to correct him before he even made a mistake.
“Grip it firm, but don’t choke it,” Pops instructed with a steady voice, “You control it, don’t let it control you.”
Tahari adjusted his hands and listened carefully. I could tell that he was locked in on every word. Pops reached out, repositioning his fingers slightly, guiding the way he held it like he had done with me plenty of times before.
“Keep your stance solid,” he continued, “if you’re off balance, your shot will be off. Simple as that.”
I stood there, watching it play out, and this feeling twisted in my chest that I couldn’t ignore, no matter how much I tried to play it off.
I was fucking jealous. That was supposed to be me.
That had always been me. I had been the one standing there, learning directly from him, getting corrected, getting sharpened.
Every little detail he gave Tahari now was something he had drilled into me over the years.
It was something that built the way I moved, the way I thought, and the way I handled situations.
And now he was giving that same attention to somebody else. Somebody who wasn’t even family. Tahari lifted the gun again. This time, he looked surer of himself, and Pops nodded slightly as he approved of the adjustment.
“Take your time,” he told him. “Don’t rush the shot.”
I exhaled slowly as I shifted my weight, trying to push past the feeling creeping up on me.
It wasn’t like Pops was ignoring me, but it felt like something was being shared that I wasn’t ready to share.
Or maybe I didn’t want to. Because the way I saw it, this wasn’t just about teaching him how to shoot.
This was Pops feeling him out and seeing what he was made of.
Seeing if he was worthy of even being in spaces like this with us.
If he was even worthy of really being with my sister.
My grip tightened slightly around my own piece as I finally stepped up and took my position.
I blocked out everything else as I aimed downrange.
When I fired, the sound cracked through the space.
The noise was sharp and controlled. I welcomed it.
I needed to hear it. This right here is what I needed.
But even as I focused, I could still feel it in the background, that shift in attention and that quiet assessment happening right beside me was annoying me.
I didn’t like it. But I pushed the feeling down.
I knew exactly what would change it. I didn’t need to stand here and compete for something that was already supposed to be mine.
Tahari was the outsider, and this was my family.
While he was busy trying to kiss Pops’ ass to be accepted, other business had to be tended to.
And that business was Cornelius. Just thinking about his name had something dark settling in my chest. Because while Pops was standing here trying to see what Tahari was made of, I already knew what I was made of, and I already knew what I was about to do.
And when I handled it, when I made sure that nigga understood exactly what it meant to put his hands on my sister, there wouldn’t be any questions.
There wouldn’t be no divided attention. Everything would fall right back where it belonged. On me.