Chapter 6 #3
“My bad. I thought we were just talking shit, and we’ve both said worse to each other. It’s good to know your cold ass has a heart though. I thought that shit was ice cold.”
“It’s good to know that you can show empathy. I just thought you were a petulant child,” I quipped.
Xain released me, and I instantly missed the warmth of his embrace. He grabbed a few Kleenex from the counter and brought them over to me.
“Oh, you cook like a granny, and you do crosswords like one,” he noted, lifting my book from the table.
“Fuck you,” I huffed, trying to pull myself together. “God forbid I want to use my brain muscle. It’s definitely more useful than having your unnecessarily solid biceps.”
“Oh, you notice a nigga hits the gym daily.” Xain flexed his right bicep and used my book to pat the solid muscle.
The faint veins on his biceps told me that his dick probably had a nice set of veins too. Why did that cross my mind? I don’t know, but it did, and I couldn’t get the thoughts out of my head.
“For once, I’m not taking a dig at you,” Xain clarified, pulling my mind out of the gutter. “Were you stuck on those last two? Or you just haven’t finished the puzzle?”
“I’m stuck on number thirty-eight across.”
“You want my help?”
“That’s the least you could do after everything you’ve done today. You do crossword puzzles?”
“Every now and then,” he quipped.
“So what’s the answer?”
“Every now and then,” he parroted. “That’s the answer.”
I took a moment to count the letters in my head. It was fifteen letters. Xain passed me the book and went back to eating his soup. I picked up my pencil to see if it would fit. It did.
“Thank you. I never would’ve figured that out,” I chirped after finishing off the puzzle.
“No problem. I already finished that book of puzzles. Growing up, I spent a lot of time with my granny, and that was our thing.”
“For real?” I blurted.
“Yeah, why you say it like that?”
“Because I grew up spending a lot of time with my grandma too. My mom had me when she was fifteen, and my grandparents had a big hand in raising me. They didn’t want her life to stop because she had me.
Thanks to my grandparents, my mom was able to graduate from college and provide an amazing life for me,” I explained between bites of my soup.
“That’s what’s up,” he nodded, stirring his soup around.
“My dad died when my mom was pregnant with me. She never bounced back from that hurt and got addicted to drugs, so my granny on my dad’s side kept me with her as much as she could.
Eventually, my mom passed, and my granny got full custody of me.
That lady was the only mother I knew. Today marks fifteen years since she passed away,” Xain lamented.
“Oh no, I’m so sorry to hear that.”
It was my turn to show empathy. Without hesitation, I went to Xain’s side of the table and wrapped my arms around him.
He didn’t want to be alone on his grandmother’s death anniversary.
That’s why he came over here. I felt guilty because I gave him the flu.
I’m sure he would’ve rather been with Vincent, but with their son having asthma, they refused to be near me too.
My hands rubbed up and down his strong back, feeling the hard muscles shift beneath my palms. As I was trying to console the man, I wondered how often Xain went to the gym to maintain his superior physique.
It was a struggle to find the words without lying.
I couldn’t tell him she must’ve been a wonderful woman when I never met her.
She raised a maniac, so I couldn’t say she raised an amazing man.
I didn’t want to say everything would be okay, because I couldn’t imagine losing my grandma or mother, so that seemed insensitive.
It took me a minute, but I finally found it.
“I can’t imagine what today must feel like for you, but I’m sorry you’re carrying it.”
“Yeah. Life is fucked up, and you keep carrying on. That was her favorite thing to say,” he exhaled, pulling out of my grasp.
Taking the hint, I trekked back to my side of the table.
“She would be so proud of everything I’ve accomplished,” Xain continued speaking.
On the contrary, I doubted she would be proud of Xain for holding me hostage twice. I rolled my eyes, thankful that my back was turned. Stifling my internal thoughts took strength, but I relaxed my face before reclaiming my seat. Chicken noodle soup with a mourning maniac. How dreadful.
“So you like crossword puzzles. Did your granny have you watching the stories too growing up?” Xain interrupted my thoughts.
“You know it,” I chuckled. “The stories taught me how dirty life could get before I was old enough to understand. Did your grandma teach you how to cook?”
“Granny definitely taught me how to throw down. Maybe one day I’ll cook you something,” Xain faltered.
The thought of Xain cooking for me didn’t sound too bad, but I’d never admit that aloud.
We finished our soup in silence, and Xain took it upon himself to clean the kitchen. I was thankful. The cramps were on my ass. All I had energy for was two Tylenol Extra Strengths and a nap. And that was exactly what I went into the room to do.