Chapter 15
Finn hovers over the bottom of the spring, fully submerged as the sun sets. He’s moving, though. He stretches his tail, alternating between flattening it out and curling it. He also moves his head from one side to the other, so I know he’s alive. I wait on pins and needles at the edge of the spring for him to emerge. I have no idea if or when that will be.
Em sits by my side. We haven’t spoken in a while. Maybe hours, I’m not sure. At some point, Safra joins us. She lies on the ground next to me, with her head pressed against my thigh. This is my family. For better or worse. A leshy, a cougar, and my daughter. And if I’m lucky, a kelpie.
Lost in dark thoughts of life with a newborn and no Finn, I stare sightlessly into the water. The skin on my arms prickles, drawing me back. That’s when I notice his eyes—open and locked on me. I choose to take that as a good sign. “He’s watching you.” Em breaks the silence.
I nod. “I know.” “Masha, I need to understand why he came to the forest and why I can’t break into his thoughts.”
Again, I nod. “You know you don’t have the right to know what people are thinking. If you can’t read his thoughts, maybe it’s because that’s not normal, not because Finn is evil.”
Em looks away, annoyed with my analysis. “If he can let his guard down,” Em whispers, “and convince me he cares for you,” he pauses, “I might allow him visitation.”
I shoot him an angry glare.
“Fine. Visitation is a given.” He presses his lips together and makes an angry face. “I’ll think about allowing him to stay. If that’s even what he wants. I don’t know if it’s possible because it’s clear that he needs the water.” Em extends his hand, motioning toward Finn.
I nod, the realization settling into my heart. Em’s right. Even if Finn recovers, he may not be able to stay with me. With our baby. Rubbing my belly, the familiar pain of heartbreak sweeps over me. What if the baby can’t live outside of water?
I can’t and won’t leave my child at the edge of the river to fend for itself. If he survives, Finn would have to go with it to care for and protect it.
I close my eyes, trying to stay in the moment and not get ahead of myself. Em’s strong arm wraps around my shoulder as he adjusts me so I’m leaning on his chest.
“Try to sleep. I’ll stand watch and let you know if there’s any change.”
I want to protest; instead, I yawn and nod. I close my eyes, but my peace is derailed before I can find sleep.
“How many flowers do we need, Aunt Erin?” It’s Ana’s voice. She sounds happy. The sun is up. I guess I did drift off after all.
I turn my head in the direction the voices came from to see how close they are. Shit, they have no idea what’s going on. How could they? Em hasn’t left my side, and Erin’s doing her best to keep Ana occupied.
Of course my daughter would want to come here; she’s either ready for her morning bath or come to pick flowers to make loofahs.
The flowers here are brighter and smell sweeter than the others in the forest. But she can’t be here now. Not with Finn on the edge of death, looking like a monster. If she meets him, when she meets him, I want him in his human form so it’s easier for her to accept.
“Let’s try to fill the basket to the top.” Erin’s bubbly voice sounds closer. Before I get a word out, Em is already on his feet.
“I’ll send them elsewhere.”
“No!” I reach for his hand and use it to help me stand. The trees swirl around me. “You might frighten Ana.”
“That’s nonsense, that child loves me.”
“Of course she does, but,” I close my eyes, trying to wait out the sour feeling in my stomach. “She hasn’t been home in days, and this is her favorite place. It’s too much for her.”
Ana giggles. I know if I don’t cut them off, she will be here in less than a minute.
“Go.”
“Stay.” I plead. “If he needs anything, help him. Please.”
Em nods. “I will. I promise.”
Before he can complain or tell me not to, I wrap him in a quick hug.