Chapter 22
“Oh my god!” I jolt awake, my heart drumming against my chest. “Where is he—”
“Shh.” Finn coos, sitting on the bed next to me and running his hand over my hair. “He’s with Em.”
“Em? No! No, no, no!” Realizing my potential threat of a son is with the creature sworn to protect my daughter and me, my heart screeches in fear. We never spoke about the baby—about what he is or what that means.
“It’s okay; Em is taking great care of him, and Erin has Ana. I gave Em detailed instructions.”
“Why is he with him when he should be with us?”
“It’s for the best right now. He’s safe. I promise.” He holds his hand up as if he’s swearing on the Bible. “You needed rest, and I worried our nugget might wake you.”
“If he does, it’s because he needs me. He might be hungry. Or need a diaper change.”
Thoughts rush through my mind faster than I can articulate them. I shoot to my feet, but the floor has other ideas. It tilts from side to side, knocking me off balance.
“Easy.” Finn rushes to my aid and steadies me in his arms, emanating a blanket of warmth and love. He draws me against his chest and strokes my hair, reminding me of how sweet and gentle he is. “The first twenty-four to forty-eight hours after birth, kelpies use all their energy on getting acclimated with their new environment. They mostly sleep.”
Why does this man make it so difficult for me to think straight? Oh, right. He’s not a man; he’s a kelpie, full of magic and deceit. That’s why I want to fall into him, not because I love him. Feeling too vulnerable, I strike at him with the only weapon I have: my words.
“Why would you build a house with a wobbly floor?” I ignore the desire to rest my head against his shoulder and return his embrace.
Smiling down at me, Finn flashes his dimples. My stomach flutters. Since I’m no longer carrying our child, I know the feeling is based on my reaction to him. To his proximity. To his touch.
“Look around, Masha, this is your cottage.” Shit, he’s right. “And the floor isn’t spinning. Perhaps it’s the thought of spending the rest of your life in my arms and in our bed that knocks you off your feet.”
I shake my head and narrow my eyes at him. “You think you’re so smart.”
“What’s really bothering you? What are you frightened of?”
“What is there not to be frightened of? I’m afraid of you.” I’m afraid that I’ve fallen so hard for you, and you’re going to disappear from my life. “You’re a kelpie. How long before you turn on me? Or Ana?” I close my eyes, afraid he’ll be able to look into them and see into my heart.
“On my life. On our son’s life, I will never harm you or Ana.”
“Our son’s life only matters to you for twenty-nine years.”
He shakes his head. “No. You, Ana, and our child will matter until the life has left my body. Even if that’s a hundred years from now.”
I look away. He cradles my face in his hands until I meet his stare.
“You agreed to spend your life with me. Let’s make it official. I mean, as far as kelpie traditions go, you consented to coupling and we produced an offspring, so you’ve already promised to spend a minimum of thirty years with me.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t promise any of that, and I don’t believe in lifelong promises or happily ever after. Not anymore.”
He nods and massages the back of my neck. I don’t know if it feels good because he found the spot that’s releasing my tension or if it’s just because it’s Finn touching me. He tries to hide his disappointment, but I see it on his face. In his eyes.
“If you won’t have me as your companion, accept me as your warrior.”
“Warrior?”
The lump in his throat bobs as he swallows, and his chest puffs out. “If you think you can find happiness with another man—”
“Finn, no!” My heart drops to the floor, slides, and crashes into the wall. How can he think that? Can’t he feel my emotions for him when we touch, the way I recognize the affection in his eyes? “There’s no one else.”
“Maybe not today. You don’t know what will happen in the future.”
“I do know. I don’t want to be with anyone else.”
He inches closer to me, pressing his front against mine. I feel his chest expand with each breath.
“Accept my pledge to stay by your side and protect you, Ana, and our son. Understand, whether you agree or not, I will not leave my child.”
Of course he won’t. He’s the father every woman wants for her child. He’s what any woman would want for herself. Why can’t I say yes?
“It’s not completely up to me. Did you forget about Em? He’ll never agree.”
“He already has. Em understands he can’t protect you when you leave the forest.”
“I don’t leave the forest,” I sass him, and my eyes fill with tears, wishing I could leave. Wishing we could go off somewhere and build a life together. I want so badly to find the courage to accept everything Finn is offering, kelpie or not, and live out the rest of my days with him.
His eyes dart to the side as he takes a deep breath. When his blue orbs meet mine again, his voice is tender. “You did leave. You were dragged into the river, and Em couldn’t save you, but I could. I did. I will fight for you with my last breath.”
My eyes tear and my lip trembles. I want to throw my arms around him and hold him until the end of time. If only I could just let go and allow myself to do it.
“Why are you trying so hard? Why don’t you walk away?”
“Because I love you. Don’t you understand? I can go home and fight for land, but it’s not what I want because you won’t be there. I don’t belong there. I never did.” He takes my hands in his, his thumbs rubbing over the back of my fingers. “Here, we belong. Here, we can have a wonderful life. This beautiful forest has everything we’ll ever need. It’s the perfect place to raise our children, together, as a family.”
He’s my oxygen, and I’m starved of it. I need to touch him, kiss him, feel him pressed up against me. Urgency controls me. I pull my hands from his, clasp them around his neck, and pull him to me. I feel the smile on his lips as my mouth meets his.
Seconds pass in a gentle kiss as Finn’s breathing changes. His arms around my waist tighten and crush me against his chest while his tongue swirls with mine. I not only return his kiss, I deepen it, yearning to feel his hands exploring my body. I try to put the words I can’t express in the kiss, hoping he feels every bit of it because Kelpie or not, he’s the man of my dreams.
Breathless, I break away and rest my forehead against Finn’s. “Take me to see our son.”