34. Nate
THIRTY-FOUR
nate
“Jess, you’re gonna kill yourself.”
My sister got perilously close to the edge. Even though she was only three years younger than me, sometimes it felt like ten. Reckless was the girl’s middle name.
“I hike this trail at least once a week. When was the last time you were up here?”
Admittedly, it had been a few years. “Fair point.”
“Come on. This way.”
Of course, she took the path that was all but a rock climb. But I was up for the challenge.
“So, no boyfriend. Job is good. What else?” I asked. “You didn’t say a lot at dinner.”
“Between Dad and Ben, how can anyone get a word in otherwise?”
“Edgewise.”
“Huh?”
“It’s ‘get a word in edgewise.’ Not otherwise.”
“No, it’s otherwise.”
“It’s not, Jess. It’s edgewise.” That’s when I realized it was a pointless conversation. My sister would never admit she was wrong.
“Things are good. I can give you the name of my therapist by the way. He’s awesome.”
I stopped. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“My therapist. I think everyone should have one. Got him after the big breakup. He came recommended from a friend of mine. And it just so happens, he’s a veteran too. Specializes in childhood trauma and PTSD.”
“What, do you have my room bugged?”
Jessica looked at me strangely. “Huh?”
I wouldn’t put it past her. The girl was as nosy as she was reckless. But this seemed to be a coincidence. Or my sister was just highly intuitive.
“Never mind.”
“Anyway, let me know if you want his name. I already asked him if it’s possible to treat siblings. He said it’s fine since my issues don’t have anything to do with you.”
I laughed. “Good to know. “
She was a real pistol, my sister. We’d never been particularly close, but strangely it was Jessica I’d texted the most this past year while I was overseas. All of a sudden, she seemed to be a grown woman when before I’d always seen her as a kid.
“Thanks.” Before I could talk myself out of it, I said, “Send me his info.” I started walking again.
“Seriously?”
“I guess you didn’t expect that?”
“Not even for a second,” she said as the incline became steeper. Luckily, it was a cool day. “Mr. Macho? I thought you’d say you didn’t need it, or you don’t have PTSD, which is obviously not true, or—”
“Obvious, huh?”
“To most people, probably not. To me? I’m no doctor, but it seems likely. And not surprising. So, tell me about the girl.”
It was so like her to switch topics on a dime like that.
“She’s gorgeous, smart, hard-working. Funny. Positive.”
“Basically just okay?”
I laughed. “Basically.”
“What’s the but?”
“There’s no but.”
“Nate, I can tell there’s a but.”
Fuck me, but Jess was good. “She almost got engaged just before we met. To a wine-drinking doctor.”
Jess, ahead of me, looked back. “Wine-drinking?”
“Zoe loves wine. And lives in the middle of wine country.”
“And you do not.”
“At all.”
“Maybe it’ll grow on you.”
“Probably not.”
“So what?” Her words were coming slower now. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“It doesn’t.”
“So why did you mention it?”
“I dunno.”
“Yes, you do.”
“I’m so glad we went for a hike today,” I said sarcastically. “You know I love these reporter-like questions.”
“You said ‘wine-drinking.’ There are a lot of ways to describe someone, and that’s pretty specific.”
“Oh geez.”
“So spit it out, mister. You can pull that mysterious man shit on other people, but not me. Full disclosure.”
Sisters. Sighing, I grabbed a hold of a tree to get up a tricky bit. Damn, this was steeper than I remembered. Kudos to Jess for kicking the mountain’s ass.
“Full disclosure? She may be too good for me.”
“Bullshit.”
“Figured you’d say that.”
“Because of the restaurant thing? Has to be. Because otherwise, you think you’re God’s gift to earth.”
“You make me sound like some pompous asshole.”
“I mean, if the shoe fits.”
I said nothing to that. It was getting harder to talk anyway. For the next twenty minutes or so, we didn’t talk but instead navigated the path to the top. It was a short, steep hike but, like I remembered, worth it. What a view.
“Look at that,” Jess said, the clear sky giving us a perfect view of the mountain range. It might not be as spectacular as some higher peaks, but these rolling hills told a story. They’d been here for a long, long time.
“Stunning,” I agreed.
“She’s not too good for you. So, knock it off, figure your shit out, and don’t ruin a good thing if she’s really this paradigm of womanhood like she seems to be.”
Figure your shit out. Not so easily done.
“Zoe was talking to the owner of a local bar last night,” I said. “He and his dad own half the town. Nice guy. Really like him a lot. Owen was one of the first people I met in Kitchi Falls. Anyway, I guess he’s having a baby and is looking to take a step back. Works at the bar a lot but also owns the general store on Main Street.”
“So, what does that mean?”
“I dunno. Might be looking for someone to manage the place.”
“Would you want to do that? Manage a bar?”
I’d been thinking about that all morning. “I actually thought about getting a loan for a bar instead of a restaurant. I think it fits me better. But a new one opened up just down the street from KC’s Taphouse, Owen’s bar. It’s a little different, kind of like a honky-tonk, but still. The town’s not that big.”
“So, maybe this is the perfect answer?”
“Maybe,” I said noncommittally. He wanted a manager. Or maybe. . .
“Jess, we have to head back. I need to make a call.”
Without waiting for my sister, I started back down the path.
“Nate? Where’s the fire?”
“No fire,” I called back. “Just have to get down to make a call.”
“To who?”
I nearly slid down some gravel but wasn’t going to let up. It was like for the first time since I’d come back, outside of the bedroom with Zoe, a fire had been lit under my ass. My heart pounded, the idea crystalizing with every step I took.
“You’re a genius, Jess.”
“Why? What did I say?”
Figure your shit out, and don’t ruin a good thing.
It really was that simple.
“If I tell you, you’ll just gloat. Come on, hurry down. If it works out, I’ll fill you in.”
“If what works out?”
I didn’t answer.
“Fabulous. Mr. Mysterious is back. You know, Nate, you’re not an easy man to love. And you’re my brother.”
“Nice of you to say,” I called back, not taking offense. She was probably right. Which was another reason I couldn’t screw this up.
If I was right, despite my sister’s claim, Zoe did love me. And I was madly in love with her, that was for sure. I wouldn’t ruin a good thing because that’s what we had.
By the time we got down and I had service again, it was midafternoon. I didn’t have Owen’s cell number, but KC’s should be open by now. I looked up the number, called, and waited.
It was hard for my mind not to race as the phone rang. This was a high-stakes call, nothing more or less than my future on the line. If it worked out. . .
No, not if .
I’d learned a thing or two in the army, and it was about time I remembered that.
This would work out. Which would mean I’d have a busy week before I headed back to Kitchi Falls.
Back to Zoe.
For good.