Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
Sebastian
Ella texts me the following morning, asking if I’ll meet her at the practice room at the university. I have a song I want to play for you , she writes.
Be right there .
I get showered and dressed in record time, and then I’m standing outside the practice room, my hand hovering over the door because she’s singing playing and I don’t want to interrupt.
But I feel like an asshole standing out here without announcing myself, and she did invite me, after all.
So I try the doorknob and, finding that it’s unlocked, I let myself in.
“Hey,” she says, turning on the bench to face me.
“Keep playing,” I say. “I’m here for support, not to interrupt you.”
“It’s not an interruption at all.” She grins. “Did you hear any of it so far?”
“Yeah,” I say. “It’s beautiful, Ella. I couldn’t hear the lyrics from outside, though.”
She pats the bench next to her, so I sit at her side. Because I can’t fucking resist this girl, I press a kiss to the side of her neck. Her skin is soft, and she smells like cherries. It must be her soap or shampoo, or just her, I don’t know.
I didn’t like how we left things yesterday morning, but she seems to have forgiven me.
Unable to resist, I kiss her again. She turns her head until my lips are on hers, and she grips my thigh. I remember the last time I was in here with her, bringing her to orgasm while King watched from just outside the room. So fucking hot.
But without King to keep watch and make sure no one else is creeping around, this is a game for another time. Reluctantly, I let her go.
“Let’s hear your song, princess.”
She puts her fingers on the keys and begins to play and sing. It must be all the practicing that she’s been doing, because she sounds even better than the first time I heard her at the Kitty Cat.
Your power is my power
I miss you when I’m awake
You’re in my dreams when I sleep
You push me to the edge
And then we leap
The words and melody flow together perfectly. And then she gets to the chorus, and I’m gone. I’m a dead man, because the beauty of her lyrics and music guts me.
You want my vindication
You want my proclamations
My abdication, my complications
My submission and your domination
It’s amazing. As she plays, something about the chord progression tickles my mind.
She finishes the song and sits back to look at me, awaiting my judgment.
“It’s amazing,” I say. “You’re amazing. Can you play a verse and the chorus one more time? This time without the melody.”
She does as I ask. Yes, those chords…it’s not just my imagination.
“Holy fuck, you have something here, princess. It’s strong on its own, but sing it one more time, with the lyrics again.”
This time, as she starts, I sing my song, “Please Don’t Behave,” alongside hers. It matches up perfectly. When we finish, Ella’s shoulders slump and she drops her hands from the keys.
“Well, shit,” Ella says, her brown eyes shiny with regret. “I’m sorry. Don’t worry—this goes nowhere. I’ll change mine. I didn’t even realize I was copying you.”
“Not copying me,” I say, “ complementing . You have your own melody, your own lyrics. Everything is different, but they work together. And like I said, it’s strong without mine, but it sounds great with, as well. Ella, this is incredible.”
“Really? I mean, you don’t mind? I wasn’t conscious at all that I was riffing off of your song, I swear.” Her cheeks turn pink and she says, “I guess I’ve just been listening to it a lot lately.”
“Babe,” I say, “I would tell you if it bothered me, and again, this is your own song . It stands on its own. I just happened to notice mine can fit alongside it. And we can pretend I never noticed, if you want your own thing.”
She bites her lip. “I guess.”
If I were still performing, I’d have her perform her own song by herself, and then I’d have her do it again and I’d join in. The audience would go fucking crazy over it.
“I promise you, I am cool with this,” I say. “There isn’t anything to be upset about.”
“You don’t think I’m some stupid fangirl?” she asks. “Because that’s what I feel like right now.”
I can’t help laughing a little, and I tug her into my arms. “You’re the worst fangirl of all—remember how you didn’t even know my music when we first sang together?”
She laughs, too. Then, in a quiet voice, she says, “I don’t want to ride your coattails or benefit from your hard work, Sebastian.”
“You don’t need to,” I say. “Any success you find? You’ve earned it on your own.”
Her beautiful face is so full of hope and trust, my chest aches.
“You really think that?” she asks.
“Yes. I’ve never been prouder of anyone than I am of you. Play it again for me?”
Giving me a shy smile, she plays and sings one more time. The music causes my heart to stir, and chills to erupt over my skin. She’s got to come to terms, eventually, with the fact that she’s talented as fuck.
Once she’s done, she says, “Thank you for coming here to listen and cheer me on.”
“Anytime, Ella.” I clear my throat. We can’t just ignore what happened the day before. “Yesterday, I said some things.”
She nods. “I did, too.”
“I told you I love you. And I meant that—I just wanted to tell you in a different way, when we weren’t mad at each other.”
Her smile is brilliant. “I love you, too.”
“Whenever we’re arguing, we have to remember that, huh?”
“Yeah.” She sits up taller and kisses me. I cup the back of her neck and hold her close, deepening the kiss, taking more, demanding more. With Ella, I always want more.
But I don’t want to jeopardize her ability to practice here, and so I pull back. “Thank you for sharing your music with me,” I say.
“I’m so glad you came. I’m sorry we argued.”
“I still love you, even when we fight,” I say.
She squeezes my hand. “Good timing, I guess, because there’s something else you’re probably going to be unhappy about.”
I try not to feel defensive immediately, but it’s fucking hard after a lead-in like that. Still, I wait for her to continue.
“I didn’t want to tell you about this,” she says, “but I also don’t want to go behind your back. I’ve asked Lin to help me find Alyssa, the woman you allegedly assaulted.”
“Allegedly?” I stand up, needing some space. The room feels too close. Ella feels too close.
“Yeah. I mean, we have no proof it happened. Alyssa hasn’t come forward.”
“She was paid not to,” I say.
“That’s what Trina says.” Ella stands up and folds her arms across her chest, looking adorably stubborn…but stubborn just the same.
“I don’t want you looking into this,” I say.
“Is it because you’re afraid I’ll find out there’s nothing to it, and Trina was lying all along?”
“That’s not what you’re going to find.” I turn around, unable to face her. “You’re going to find out that I’m a monster, and you’re going to leave.”
“I’m going to prove you wrong.”
Her hands are soft on my arms, she’s tracing one of my tattoos. Without looking down, I know it’s the guitar tattoo that transforms into flying triplets and eighth notes at the guitar’s neck.
I spin around, and Ella steps back, looking shocked. I catch my reflection in the decorative mirror placed over the piano. I look fierce, angry. No wonder Ella is flinching away from me.
“I can’t do this,” I say.
“Sebastian, I’m sorry,” she begins.
“If you were really sorry, you wouldn’t look into this matter at all.”
“No,” she says. “You fear the truth to the point where you’re ready to broadcast a lie to the public. You’d rather just take your lying agent’s words at face value rather than see what might have really happened.”
“Yeah,” I say, “because what if it’s worse ? You’re going to fuck around and find out.”
“It won’t be worse,” she says.
I can’t fucking take this anymore. Slowly, so Ella has plenty of opportunity to get away from me, I cup her face in my hands. I kiss her mouth, lingering on her soft, plump lips.
“I’m not running away from you,” I say as I pull back. “But I’m giving myself some space to calm down, okay?”
She nods. In a miserable voice, she says, “I didn’t want to upset you.”
“Then you should’ve left it all alone.”
I turn around and leave the room, my heart pounding out a rhythm of heartache with every step.
Ella
Well, that could’ve gone better. Shit. I stare at the door for a long moment after Sebastian takes off. I knew he wouldn’t like the idea I was looking into this, but I also can’t leave it alone. His past is hurting him because he won’t truly face it.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m the asshole. Maybe I should butt out.
But I love him. Is that not a good enough excuse?
Feeling conflicted as fuck, I gather my things and leave the practice room. I have a couple of hours before I’m supposed to be at the pub. When I look at my phone, I see a missed call from Lin, Sebastian’s cousin.
I call her back immediately.
“Hey,” she says, “are you downtown by any chance? I have the info you wanted.”
“Already?” My heart pounds faster with a thrill of excitement and nerves.
“Yep. I can bring it by during my lunch break, if you’re close.”
“I’m at the university, so I could meet you somewhere,” I say.
“There’s a cafe near the Cassiopeia building,” she says. “Meet me there?”
“Sure. I can be there in ten—does that work?”
“Yep.”
I have to haul ass to make it all the way across campus in ten minutes. The university isn’t huge as far as student population, but it’s sprawling. I’m sweating by the time I pass the Cassiopeia building…but maybe that’s also from nerves. What is Lin going to tell me?
A brown-haired woman stands outside the cafe and says, “Hey, Ella!”
Her hair is undercut on one side, and she has a beauty mark at the corner of her mouth. Her clothing is casual—jeans and a button-up top. After taking long strides to reach me, she holds out a hand. “Hey, I’m Lin, Sebastian’s cousin.”
“Nice to meet you,” I say.
“Same. How’s your brother?”
“Um…I’m taking a break from him after what he pulled. But I’m still super grateful you found him for me.”
“No problem—it’s what I do best,” she says.