Chapter 7
AIDEN
I woke before my alarm as the first rays of dawn trickled through the sheer curtains over my window.
My body buzzed with a mix of nerves and excitement.
I threw back the blankets, eager to escape a restless night.
I always got like this before a big change, ever since I was a kid.
I’d never been able to sleep before the first day of school.
Today was even more important. This research year would determine the course of my future.
I grabbed my toiletries and crept out of my room.
The water in my shower was barely lukewarm, but it cleared the last tendrils of sleep fog.
I washed quickly and efficiently, then dried off with a thick, fluffy towel I’d picked up when I went shopping for some household supplies the day before.
I couldn’t spend a lot of money—not on a research stipend—but I didn’t compromise on towels, sheets, or coffee. Those were my vices.
I returned to my room and pulled out the navy slacks and white button-down I’d selected for my first day’s work. I’d just slipped my arms into the shirt when my phone alarm started blaring.
Shit. I’d forgotten to turn it off. I clambered onto the bed to reach for the phone on the bedside table.
Knight stumbled into my doorway just as I hit the button to silence it. In nothing but silky black boxer briefs on his mouthwatering body.
“Aiden?” he said in a groggy voice.
“Sorry!” I held up the phone as evidence. “My alarm.”
He stared at the phone for a minute, eyes only half-focused.
“I can turn down the volume on it tomorrow. I didn’t realize how loud it…”
I trailed off. He wasn’t listening. His gaze had slipped to my exposed chest and down to the towel still knotted around my hips. He licked his lips.
That’s all it took to break my will.
One hungry look.
“Knight,” I said, a note of pleading in my voice.
I wanted him to come inside. Wanted to feel him against me. His big hands. His hot mouth. God, it had been so good between us. I’d done nothing but fantasize about it since that night. No one else could ever compare.
He swallowed hard. “You should probably keep the door closed when you change. You don’t live alone anymore.”
He closed the door between us, leaving me breathless and half hard. My cheeks burned with shame. I’d told Knight nothing could happen, and yet, at the first opportunity, my body had betrayed me.
It didn’t care about boundaries or messy living situations. I wanted more of the pleasure Knight had unlocked. Pleasure that I so rarely indulged in. It was like seeing a slice of cheesecake after dieting for nearly a year.
My mouth watered for it, even as I knew it would be bad for me.
Luckily, Knight had better willpower than I did. I took a deep breath, willing my body to calm and my pulse to slow. I buttoned my shirt and stepped into my pants, then sat on the edge of the bed to pull on my socks and shoes.
I pocketed my phone, wallet, and keys and tentatively pushed open my bedroom door. The house was still dark and quiet. The scent of coffee drifted back toward my room. The automatic coffee maker had been hard at work.
I slipped out of my bedroom and couldn’t resist glancing toward Knight’s door. It was firmly closed. There was a squeak of bedsprings, then a low groan.
I bit my bottom lip, wondering if that was the sound of a man going back to sleep or perhaps one engaged in a different morning activity. I forced myself to walk away before I could find out for sure.
I poured a mug of coffee and put a bagel in the toaster. My phone went off again. This time, it was a call, not my alarm. I saw Haley’s name pop up on my screen and answered with a smile.
“Hey, girl.”
“Aiden, today’s the day!”
I laughed a little. “I know. You must be excited.”
Haley had matched with her dream job in LA. She was going into pediatrics, and she’d landed at the Los Angeles Children’s Hospital.
“So excited! I can’t wait to get in there and start acting like a real doctor.”
“Yeah,” I said, my enthusiasm fizzling a little. “That’ll be great for you.”
There was a beat of silence. I sipped my coffee.
“Aiden, baby, you’re doing real doctoring, too. Research is hugely important in the medical field.”
I sighed. “I know. It’s just not what I thought I’d be doing. I had a plan.”
“Well, sometimes plans change.”
“No kidding.”
“Sometimes they change for the better,” she said. “Not everyone gets to work with Dr. Rose. She’s famous for her advances, and you know what made those advances possible, right?”
“Her amazing talent as a surgeon?”
“Research,” she deadpanned.
I rolled my eyes. Dr. Rose’s research to advance medical procedure was in a different league from meta-analysis of surgical outcomes, but Haley got points for trying.
“Okay, fine. You win. I’m excited to meet Dr. Rose.” My palms grew clammy. “I need to make a good impression.”
“You need to unclench,” Haley said. “You’ll do great. You were always the smartest guy in the room.”
“But not the smartest girl.”
“Of course not,” she said in a haughty tone. “That honor goes to me.”
“You’re going to kill it today,” I told her sincerely.
“I know,” she said airily. “But LA traffic is a bitch. I couldn’t afford to live as close to the hospital as I’d like. So I better head out.”
“All right. Drive safe.”
“Not likely,” she said, “but I’ll try to make it to the hospital in one piece. Report in later. I want to hear all about your first day, Dr. Donovan.”
“You too, Dr. Gill.”
“I like the sound of that,” she practically purred. “Ciao for now!”
My bagel popped up in the toaster. I pocketed my phone and got out the tub of cream cheese. I’d gone shopping over the weekend. I hadn’t wanted to eat Knight’s food—not that I could, anyway, since he’d been down to nothing but beer and deli meat my first day here.
I smeared my bagel with a thick layer of cream cheese and took a big bite just as Knight entered the kitchen in jeans and a T-shirt.
“Morning,” he said, as if we hadn’t already seen each other while half-naked. “You all good to go for your first day?”
I swallowed my bite with difficulty and chased it with a gulp of now cooled coffee. “Yeah. I’m sorry I woke you up so early. You could have gone back to sleep.”
He shrugged. “Figured I might as well get some work done outside before I have to be at the tattoo shop. It’ll be cooler now than after work.”
I smiled weakly. If he was going to pretend I hadn’t made a fool of myself this morning, I’d happily do the same.
“Off to do battle with more weeds?”
He’d spent a good chunk of his days out there over the weekend. I’d seen him mowing, edging, and spraying some sort of weed killer.
“Yeah, I’ve gotten most of this street done, but there’s more to do to the south.”
I nodded. “Good luck with that.”
He pulled open the fridge and took out a garishly bright green can of BeastMODE energy drink. I wrinkled my nose as he tipped back the can and swallowed a big mouthful of toxic waste.
“Good luck today, Angel. I’ll see you later.”
I opened my mouth to correct him, but he was already walking out of the kitchen.
Ah well. He’d been the one to close the door between us this morning.
The one to resist when my will had collapsed like a house of cards.
That was more important than calling me Angel, right?
He clearly wasn’t the one with boundary problems. No, that was me, apparently.
I’d never struggled to resist anyone before. But then, I’d never lived with a previous hookup, either. I just needed to rewire my brain to see Knight as a roommate and not a sexual partner. With a little time, this attraction would surely fade.
I finished my breakfast, rinsed my dishes, and headed out. Knight had been a distraction, but as I approached the hospital, my nerves came raging back. My stomach did somersaults as I parked and walked into the building. Dr. Rose had given me instructions to report to her third-floor office.
I rode the elevator up, smiling politely at an older gentleman holding a bouquet of flowers.
“My Nancy just had a pacemaker put in,” he said. “She should be going home today. Those nurses keep her up all night, poking and prodding.” He gave a rusty laugh. “She’s been mighty cranky. Misses her bed.”
“I’m sure she misses you, too.”
“Ah, well. I doubt it. I snore like a grizzly bear. Her words, not mine.”
I laughed with him. “Well, still better than nurses poking and prodding her all night, right?”
The doors slid open on the second floor, and he gave me a nervous smile as he stepped out. “You might be right about that. Wish me luck!”
The doors slid shut before I could answer, but I mentally willed him good luck, anyway. He’d reminded me of the reason I was here in the first place, the reason I wanted to be a doctor, and that eased my nerves.
When the elevator doors opened again, I stepped onto the third floor. I approached the nurses’ desk. “Hi, I’m looking for Dr. Rose’s office?”
A woman with short dark curls glanced up. “Are you a patient?”
“No, uh…doctor,” I said.
She smiled. “Let me guess. You’re a new resident.”
“What gave me away?” I asked. “My incredible confidence?”
She laughed a little too hard at that. “Come on, I’ll take you to Dr. Rose. We should have about five minutes before she heads into surgery. I’m Liliana. I didn’t catch your name, Dr…?”
“Donovan,” I said. “But you can call me Aiden.”
She gave me an assessing look as we walked down the hall. “You’re too young to be hitting on me.”
“And too gay,” I said.
“Ah, that explains it.”
“Explains what?” I asked, wary.
Not everyone was open-minded about my sexuality, but I didn’t want to worry about hiding it on the job. After my dad died, I’d never played straight again.
It hadn’t saved me from his rage, anyway.
He’d lashed out at me with his fists, but it’d always been his words that hurt the most.
You’re a waste of space.
Weak.
Pathetic.
You should have never been born.
After that, what harm could anyone else really do?