Chapter 17 #2
He slanted a look sideways. “I don’t know. I’d hate to ruin the attraction for you. Not much appealing about me telling you all my flaws.”
I shrugged. “It just makes you human, Knight. We’re all flawed.”
“Not you.” He gently turned my face toward him as he leaned in for a kiss.
“Especially me,” I murmured.
As hard as I tried to be perfect, I was always falling short.
He kissed me again, deeper, so that the flavor of my food mingled with the taste of him. I grabbed his T-shirt, pulling it up, and he helped me strip it off.
Then he laid me back on the sofa, blanketing my body as he kissed me again.
“You feel fucking perfect,” he said as he hiked my left leg up around his hip.
“But I’m not,” I said, pushing the issue even though it would be smarter to let him fuck it out of his system instead. “Tell me what happened. I won’t judge you. I promise.”
He rested his forehead against mine, eyes closing.
“Or not,” I said when he didn’t speak. “We’re just fucking around. I get it.”
His eyes snapped open. “What? That’s not—”
I tugged him into another kiss, trying to dismiss the pang of hurt in my chest. I was the one who wanted, needed, to keep this casual. I shouldn’t have blurred the lines.
Knight drew back, sitting up and running his hands through his hair. “No, Aiden. It’s not like that.”
I pushed myself upright, face hot. “What’s not like what?”
“Maybe we’re not dating, but I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me,” Knight said. “You’re not just some sex object to me.”
I grimaced. I hadn’t thought of it in those terms, exactly.
“I know that. You wouldn’t think that way.”
His eyes met mine. He lifted a hand to rub over his upper bicep, almost as if he was trying to erase the ink there.
He cleared his throat. “Today, I found out Tex’s sister had a nasty ex giving her trouble.
There was a good chance Tex was going to end up in a fight with this asshole, and he’d be sure to go back to prison, so I…
” He lifted his fingers, displaying the serpent tattoo.
“I used my affiliation with the Serpents to intimidate this guy into leaving Tex’s family alone. ”
“Okay…” I waited for more, but it didn’t come. “Is that all?”
He blew out a breath. “I promised myself I wouldn’t be that guy anymore.
The biker outlaw. The violent enforcer.” He rubbed his knuckles as if remembering all the ways they’d wreaked havoc.
“But when I threatened that asshole, I felt like that guy again. And it scares me, because using those ties is one step away from being one of them again.”
“A pretty big step.” I took one of his hands and kissed his knuckles. “You didn’t hit this guy, right? Didn’t assault him?”
“Mostly just intimidated him.”
I nodded. “And if you hadn’t done that, what would have happened?”
“I don’t know. Most likely, he’d have eventually threatened or hurt Tex’s sister, and Tex would have lost his shit. Got sent back to prison.”
I nodded. “I’m not saying it was good, what you did. But it was still better than the alternative.”
“It doesn’t bother you that I threatened someone with violence?”
“Not really. Not if they were an abusive asshole.” My father’s image flashed in my head. “I know they say two wrongs don’t make a right, but if I accept that logic, then my brother was wrong when he protected me from my dad. I refuse to believe that. So yeah, sometimes two wrongs do make a right.”
“What Flynn did was right. No one could argue against that. But I’m not like him, Angel. I did a lot of bad shit with the Serpents. Using their name, their influence now puts me one step closer to going back to that life.”
“You won’t go back.”
“How do you know that?” he asked. “They’ve found me once already. They could come back. And if they do, I don’t have a lot of options.”
I squeezed his hand tighter, fear trickling through me, but I pushed it down, determination flaring even brighter.
“You won’t go back because I see how conflicted you are about this. You used the leverage you had to protect Tex and his sister. That’s all. You wouldn’t go back and knife the guy, would you?”
He recoiled. “No. Never.”
“You’re not that biker anymore, Knight. You care about people. I’ve seen that. Hell, you can’t even stand not to feed me dinner!”
He gave a startled laugh. “Well, I can’t have you passing out on me while we fuck around. That’d kill my ego in a hurry.”
“You don’t need to worry about that, unless I pass out from coming so hard.”
His eyes flared. “Are you trying to seduce me, Angel?”
“Would I do that?”
He smirked. “Definitely.”
I stood, tugging him up from the sofa, letting my gaze run over his chest and abs. Knight was a strong, fit man. He was lean rather than bulky, but with wiry muscle that made it easy to imagine him as a weapon of violence.
But he’d been too kind, too sweet, too nurturing—even when I was being a shit and avoiding him—to ever make me believe it was in his nature.
Knight was a lover, not a fighter.
I slid my arms up around his neck, and he rested his hands on my hips, tugging me closer.
“Promise me you won’t give up on what you’re doing here,” I said. “You’re a good man.”
He gazed into my eyes. “That’s easier to believe when you look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you believe in me.”
This was all edging dangerously close to real feelings that would only complicate our lives. I drew him into another kiss, a longer one.
He deepened it, hands moving to unbutton my shirt. This was what we did best.
Maybe Liliana was right. Some distractions were good.
For me—and for Knight.
If we couldn’t be a real couple, at least we could do this for each other. Offer pleasure. Offer comfort.
Offer a way to escape our worries for at least one more night.