11. Dragon
Chapter Eleven
DRAGON
Imade my cannolis and then planned to send a few to Horse by way of the front desk when I dropped off the sugar tray. That wouldn’t be too weird, right?
The guy at the front desk was new, and he was looking at me like I was a total freak for wanting to leave a brown bag full of sugary deliciousness for Horse. It wasn’t. He’d given me the sugar. Having that many canisters was way freakier than dropping off some pastries for someone.
“Are you sure you don’t want to leave a note?” the man at the desk asked for the third time, tenacious for one with such timid shoulders.
I blinked at him. “Horse knows who has his sugar. Just leave it on the tray with the rest of it.”
The pasty brunette guy licked his lips, clearly nervous. “I’m sure he does, and I’m sure you’re not stalking him; it’s just that we need a signature and an I.D. for any deliveries to Horse’s apartment.”
“Is there a problem?” Janice asked from behind me, her officious voice keyed to make my teeth hurt. Nails on a chalkboard, only vicious.
I turned to face her before she stabbed me in the back. She wore a blue pantsuit that went with her polished shoulder-length hair with its subtle ombre. I crossed my arms and looked down at her, although she was only a few inches shorter than me, probably thanks to her heels.
“What are you doing here?”
She raised a carefully plucked brow. “I’m visiting a friend. I’m sure you know him. What are you doing here?” She eyed my sugar canisters and the suspicious brown bag. “Never mind. I don’t want to know what a deviant does with baking supplies.”
That stung, mostly because my history of drunken sprees had led me to make some very bad choices, and some of them may have involved baking supplies. Also, because maybe Horse was seeing her personally, and that’s why he’d been so angry at the footage, because they had an actual relationship.
“I made cannolis.” I grabbed the brown bag and pulled out one with pretty pink sugar sprinkles on the white cream. They had turned out nice. “Horse let me borrow his sugar.”
We both looked at the multiple canisters. Yeah, that was so weird, but kind of amazing. What other random secrets did he have? It’s like he was a completely different person that I wanted to actually know.
Her face started turning red as she stepped closer, eyes burning with rage. “You think you deserve him? You with the worst reputation in Vegas?” She looked me up and down with more loathing than I expected, and everyone knew that Janice loathed a lot. “I’ll?—“
Pixel came out of nowhere, threw his arm over her shoulder and grinned terrifyingly into her face.
“Congrats on the freedom! Can’t believe the boss finally terminated you.
Didn’t think it would ever happen the way you dug in like one of those leeches.
You know,” he said, looking at me over her head.
“The kind that gives you all the nasty diseases.”
Janice elbowed him hard enough that he stumbled back. Wait, Horse fired her over the video? Not that I blamed him. No man wanted to look weak publicly, particularly if it hurt his ratings.
Her voice was icy as she glared at me. “The dragon is the one with all the worst infections. Someone should put it down before it contaminates everything.” She turned and stalked off, leaving me with Pixel and the clerk behind the desk who was staring at me like his eyes might fall out of his head and roll across the floor.
“Oh! You’re the Dragon! Sorry. You don’t have to leave a note and show your I.D. I’m new. Sorry about that. You look different in real life.”
Without show makeup or leather? I blinked at him and then pulled out my license, laying it down on the marble counter. “I can write a note. There’s no reason not to follow rules that help protect your hotel’s patrons. Do you have paper?”
He handed me a pad of the hotel’s fine stationery along with the heavy pen. I stared at the cream page while I tried to think of something to write.
Thanks for the sugar.
~Trix
When in doubt, stick with the obvious.
When I looked up, Pixel was sticking the last of the cannoli I’d taken out of the bag into his face, grinning at me with a mouth full of cream. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and fell in beside me as I headed for the doors.
I was going shopping with Minx today. Now that was traumatic.
“I had no idea there were that many kinds of sugars. Pink? Crazy. So, you’re baking for the boss? That’s like flirting for your generation, right?” Pixel’s spikes fell over his forehead in a green wave as he grinned at me.
I gave him a bemused look. “No, my generation compares insurance plans when we’re seriously flirting. This is just being neighborly. You have a nice day.”
I took the rest of the cannolis to the shopping center where Minx was going to help me find normal clothing without holes or leather in case I needed to visit Horse’s apartment again. Which I probably wouldn’t, because he could just leave stuff for me at the front desk if necessary.
But it wasn’t necessary because I’d already warned him about Janice, so my duty was done.
And he’d fired her. That felt so much better than it should have.
Maybe I should ask him where he got that pretty pink sugar.
I could get some for my mother for Christmas.
And maybe I’d need to borrow an egg or something.
“What about red? You look great in red, but blue is also good,” Minx said, holding up two shirts.
“It’s her! Can’t believe she dares show her face in public.”
I edged away from the two women glaring at me.
I grabbed the shirts, holding them up to subtly hide my face. “I’ll get both.”
Her smile was so sweet and delicate. “Really? Is there a special occasion we’re shopping for?”
“Just normal life. You know. Jeans and t-shirts for doing normal things. I want to stock up so I don’t have to shop for at least five years. All of my shirts have holes in them.”
Her big green eyes widened. “Holes?”
“Mostly in the hem because I use the bottom of my shirt for a hot pad when I’m cooking. And sometimes I do some welding, but I forget to put on my apron.”
She nodded slowly. “Right. Normal clothes for everyday welding.” She grabbed my arm as I started heading into the back corner of the store where there were fewer customers glaring at me.
“Trix, I’ve been meaning to apologize. I didn’t mean to make you so uncomfortable with Dr. Williams. It was unforgivable the way I lied to you. ”
I froze. I hated apologies. Couldn’t we just accept that we made mistakes and not talk about it?
If we talked about all my mistakes, it would never end.
“You didn’t lie, you just didn’t mention it.
My reaction wasn’t your fault. Setting someone up with a handsome doctor is a good thing.
It’s not your fault that I can’t appreciate good men. ”
She nodded, but looked uncertain. “It’s just that Horse mentioned that I’d betrayed you, and I’ve felt terrible ever since.”
I glowered at her, furious at Horse like I hadn’t been angry at him for too long. “Horse doesn’t know me. You didn’t betray anyone. I need to control my reactions and watch my triggers. That’s on me, not you.”
She swallowed hard, eyes welling like she was going to cry. She threw her arms around me and squeezed me tight. I stood there awkwardly while the pair of women looked at me with curled lips, shaking their heads in disgust.
I clenched my teeth and forced myself not to see them. I was used to the disapproval of others and didn’t let it affect how I saw myself. I knew my own weaknesses better than anyone else. It still stung to see the reactions of others, but it didn’t matter.
I patted Minx gently, holding a fistful of shirts so I didn’t hurt her. “There, there. Is this going to go on for a long time, because I don’t know what to do with the shirts. I could put them on your head.”
She pulled away to look at me, eyes bright green from her tears. “Sorry. I’m just so glad you don’t hate me.”
I rolled my eyes. “No one could ever hate you.” I went back to shirt shopping while she followed, still sniffing.
“Trix, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” Hopefully, it had to do with engines.
“How did you end up together with Horse?”
I winced, feeling like she’d shot me in the stomach, a slow wound that would go septic.
Of course it wasn’t about engines. She had a car, but it was always in the shop, and she refused to let me look at it because she didn’t want me to put race parts in it.
Maybe that made me want to hunt it down and do an overhaul in the middle of the night with a little kick of nitro.
“I’m not together with Horse,” I said, frowning at a pink shirt until I realized what color it was and hastily pushed it to the side.
“Oh. My mistake.” She shot me a furtive look while she added another shirt to my stack, a deep blue like Horse’s eyes.
I sighed heavily. I needed to clear this up, or she’d think I was lying to her. “I know there was a video of us, but that was just Janice recording my worst moment. It never went anywhere after that.”
She squinted at me. “I thought she was jealous of him because he likes you.”
“He doesn’t like me.” Except that he hadn’t pressed charges, and that felt like some kind of positive thing.
He’d been okay with the neighbor thing, as long as we didn’t have any personal contact.
With the way the clerk had been, he clearly got a lot of stalkers.
I’d have to make a point to not become one of them.
“He doesn’t? Then why did he let you kiss him?”
I looked down at the piles of clothing in my arms, feeling helpless. “He was probably being polite.”
She gave me a skeptical look that was the way my mother looked at me when she started talking about how if I only dressed more like a woman, I’d be married with five kids by now with a good husband who could cook for me, because heaven knows I couldn’t cook for myself.
Just because I didn’t use an entire block of cheese for every meal didn’t mean I couldn’t cook.
Fat-to-carb ratio wasn’t the only way of measuring a quality eating experience.
And I couldn’t have children no matter how I dressed.
I started for the cash register. I had enough clothes for more than five years, and I didn’t want to snap and go on another bender trying to deal with these feelings I couldn’t express.
Men were so much easier than women. I could fight them, knock them out, and that would end the conflict.
Women posted your shame online and then got other women to hate you everywhere you went.
Minx trailed behind me. “I’m just glad you aren’t mad at me. I’m sorry for trying to set you up. I just want you to be happy.”
I stopped walking and then turned to look at her. “I am happy. Also, men don’t make an unhappy person happy.”
She nodded rapidly. “Right. I know that you don’t need a man.
I mean, who needs a man less than you? It’s just the binges, where you get drunk and find a guy.
I thought maybe you could find someone without the binges, and then you wouldn’t need the alcohol.
I’m sorry. It’s none of my business. I don’t know anything about psychology; I just know crazy.
I never should have tried to fix someone else when I’m such a mess. ”
I put my arm around her shoulder and squeezed her as gently as I could. “Thanks for caring about me. I think you are one of the most sensible people I know. Practical. Capable. Reliable. If you were a car, you’d be a Honda Civic.”
She blinked at me. “Um, thanks?”
I squeezed her shoulder again and then headed for the counter, feeling a little better. “So if you’d like to date a guy and settle down and have kids, I can see that being a really good idea.”
She made a choking sound and looked at me like I’d turned into a monster, or a horrible car crime, like putting sugar in the tank. “Um, I guess, you too?”
“I can’t have kids.” I’d said it. Those words had fallen out of my face like they weren’t bombs exploding every one. Did I have to run out and drown my feelings in alcohol?
Minx squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry.”
That’s all she said, but somehow it helped enough that I didn’t have to run away and drown the pain.