13. Knight #3
She glared at me, but her lips curled in a hard smile.
“Really? You think that it should be all about you, having some mini-Horse out there with your genetics whether you’re interested in the woman or the child.
Marriage? You actually think that any marriage between two people over a broken condom could last?
” She shook her head and bit fiercely into her toast.
I studied her, analyzing her hardness. She didn’t know what to do.
The person a baby would turn her into. This was completely foreign territory to her.
She needed gentleness. But if I started being gentle with her, it would be so hard to stop.
“Honestly, probably not. I guess it’s fair that if one person has to personally pay for all the consequences, she gets all the choices.
He looked like money. Your apartment isn’t on one of the more expensive floors.
You could use more money. I’d be delighted to strong-arm him into paying an exorbitant settlement.
Just say the word.” I cocked my head. “No, you’d never take a cent.
You want a father figure for this innocent creature.
What about Nix and Dagger? Between the two of them, you’d have as much testosterone as your baby could endure.
And then throw in Jezebel and her menagerie, and there wouldn’t be a more adored and well-protected child.
If they didn’t eat her.” I sighed. “It occurs to me that I’ve been answering questions you didn’t ask.
Sorry. Do you want my egg? Does it look good or vomitable? ”
She stared at my egg and then grabbed a fork and cut into it decisively.
“I wasn’t supposed to be able to be a mom, not after the accident when I was seventeen.
You know, getting blown up and rolling a truck fifteen times before crashing into a ravine isn’t good for reproductive organs.
There was internal scarring with the crushed pelvis.
” She tugged on her earlobe as she took a vicious bite.
I absently moved another piece of toast closer to her.
She’d been carrying that burden since she was seventeen?
I wanted to pull her into my arms and give her a good long hug, but she’d scoop out my heart with the butterknife.
Maybe I’d do it anyway. All this couch talk made me want to hold her, protect her, reassure her.
She was the only person in the world that I knew was absolutely true to her own personal code. She would be an exceptional mother.
“You’re going to keep it,” I said.
Her eyes widened. Her eyes had gold in them. She’d never been prettier, looking at me like this beneath the masses of dark curls. Untameable hair, like her.
“I…” She stayed quiet while Burt came out with the veggies and fruits along with herbal tea for two.
I poured for her and pushed the plates over. I wasn’t sure what to say. We didn’t do personal, and this was a lot from someone as closely guarded as her. It made me feel like I owed her something in return.
I sighed heavily. This wasn’t something I talked about, but…
“I was seventeen when the girl, Michelle, told me about the baby. I was terrified, but at the same time, it settled something inside me. Like for the first time, I had a responsibility that I couldn’t shirk.
I had to step up and be a man. I thought we were going to get married, but…
” I shook my head and gave her a wry smile.
“She didn’t want to go through with it, not the marriage, not the…
” I exhaled and tried to get my head together.
Michelle was a woman who could be bought, as clearly illustrated when my father bought her.
I’d thought it was love, but love can always be bought.
Except when it came to Trixie. You couldn’t buy her for anything. Not love, not money.
She winced, then laughed. “Wow. You were going to marry her? At seventeen? That’s way more idealistic than I’d ever give you credit for.
Oddly enough, I can kind of see it: you as a dad.
Maybe you should do some therapy, try to get over it.
There are plenty of fish in the sea and all that.
” She sipped her tea and then, instead of stabbing me, started eating with an appetite. Hopefully, she’d keep it down.
“What’s the worst that can happen?” she mumbled.
“He asks you to marry him, and you have to explain that your other lovers would never put up with that.” I winked at her, as if I were one of them.
She frowned thoughtfully. “That would be terrible. But, you think he’d want to know? He’s only twenty-two. He’s too young to be tied down to someone who relied completely on him for some kind of psychological or emotional support. Not me. The…”
“Baby. Yeah. Did you do some digging on him? You never know whether someone’s going to put effort into his responsibility unless you give him the chance. Assuming that he’s a worthless piece of trash is kind of…”
She ran her hand through her wild curls, then gave me a frank look. “You mean if he’s good enough for me to take to bed, then he should be good enough for me to tell about this situation.”
“The baby. Yeah. Babies are cute, Trix. And it’s not like you’re alone in the world.
The team would adore this child. Everyone would step up.
I personally offer my services if you should want to go maternity shopping with me.
I can carry more bags than you can imagine.
And I have really good taste in maternity fashion based on my complete and utter lack of knowing any pregnant women. ”
She flinched. “You don’t get women pregnant anymore. You’re much more careful and responsible than I am.”
I scoffed. “Hardly. I’m saying I’d love to take you maternity shopping. No judgment. Promise.” I held up my fingers in a scout salute.
She fixed my fingers. “It’s like this. You weren’t ever a scout, were you?”
“You wound me. I was a scout for almost two days. So…about the shopping.”
She laughed and cocked her head as she studied me. “I almost see it.”
“Me carrying shopping bags? It’s a good look, right?”
“The stars. You’re kind of…funny.”
Funny? She thought I was funny? That was a good thing, right? And the stars? When she looked at me, she saw the stars? Was I missing something? Were the eggs poisoned? Did she actually harbor secret romantic ideas about me involving stars and comedy?
She gave me a slight smile. “Thanks for the girl talk, Horse. I never thought I’d live to see the day. Next time I see you, it’ll be in my rearview mirror.”
Girl talk? I panicked and shot her my biggest whore grin and winked at her. “Backseat? I like the way you think.”
She rolled her eyes and whirled away, leaving me there, drinking my tea and trying not to think about the stars thing.
Stars were good, right? Not that I should be good.
I needed to stay away from her before I hurt her.
Unless she wanted me to be so close that it didn’t matter that she was my obsession. Maybe I could be hers.
The ridiculousness of that thought had me straightening up and noticing the waiter.
He started clearing the table. “You and Trix? Be careful. You screw her over and she’ll add your balls to her collection.”
I scoffed. “That’s a myth.”
He shook his head and kept working.
I smiled because if there was one thing I wanted, it was to be added to Trixie Dragon O’Hara’s collection, the one she kept. For stars, comedy, snuggling or any other thing she had in mind. For as long as we both should live. And probably longer.