Chapter Two #2
Guilt slammed into me. What could I say?
That I’d pushed her away to protect her?
That I’d convinced myself she deserved better than waiting for a convicted felon?
That I’d been a fucking coward who couldn’t face the possibility of her rejection so I’d lashed out first?
If I told the strict truth, I thought the latter might be the closest to the truth.
I was a fucking coward and paid the price of not knowing my daughter.
“I didn’t leave you a choice,” I said finally. “I promise we will talk about the past later. Let’s concentrate on Brynn right now. But you and me will have a very long talk.”
“OK.”
“Now, tell me. What’s her condition right now? Stable?”
“Yes. But she’s weak, Rhys. So weak. They’re keeping an eye on her blood tests and will tell me their plan tomorrow.”
“Can you let her doctor know I’m on my way?”
“Yes. I’ll tell the nurse as soon as I get off the phone with you.”
I needed to go but I couldn’t make myself. I was greedy for every second I could get. “What’s she like, Lavender?”
She sighed and I could almost see her smile when she spoke next. “She has your eyes. And your stubborn streak. And your brain, God help me.” She let out a watery laugh. “She’s reading college-level books and writing her own computer programs at eleven.”
Something fierce and protective roared to life inside me. I hadn’t known about Brynn, hadn’t been there for her first breath or first word or first day of school. But I’d be damned if I wouldn’t be there now when she needed me most.
“I’m going to take care of this,” I said, the promise heavy and absolute. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Text me the exact hospital details and her room number.”
“I will,” Lavender said. “And Rhys?”
“Yeah?”
“She doesn’t know about you yet. Not really. I mean, she knows you’re her father, but… I didn’t want to get her hopes up about meeting you until I knew for sure.”
The words stung, but I understood. “What have you told her about me?”
“The truth. That you were the smartest person I ever knew. That you loved me once. That you went away before I knew I was pregnant.”
Not the whole truth, then. Not the part where I was a criminal who’d chosen a quick payday over a life with her. Not the part where I’d deliberately crushed her heart to keep her from wasting her life waiting for me.
“Right,” I said, throat tight. “Anything else I should know before I get there?”
“Just… she’s scared. Even though she pretends not to be. And she’s angry sometimes. At everything. The situation. Me. The doctors. The world. But mostly…” Lavender hesitated. “Mostly, I think she’s angry at you. For not being here. For not knowing you.”
I closed my eyes briefly. “She has every right to be.”
“I never talked badly about you,” Lavender said quickly. “I swear. I’d never do that. But kids fill in the blanks themselves, you know?”
“Yeah. I get it.” And I did. I’d done the same thing when my old man disappeared. “I’ll handle her anger. I’d rather it be focused on me than anyone else, but especially you. You just focus on taking care of her until I get there.”
“OK.” She sounded exhausted. “Rhys?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you. For calling. For coming.”
I didn’t deserve her gratitude. Not after what I’d done. “Get some rest if you can. I’ll be there soon.”
We said our goodbyes, and I ended the call, standing motionless in the middle of my apartment. Reality crashed over me in waves. I had a daughter. She was sick. And she needed a piece of me to survive.
My brain kicked into overdrive. Four hours to Cincinnati. I needed to talk to Knuckles, let him know I’d be gone for a while. And I needed Ada. She’d know what to do, how to handle this situation with the kind of emotional intelligence I lacked sometimes.
I moved quickly, grabbing clothes and toiletries and shoving them into the duffel bag. I added my laptop and chargers almost as an afterthought. Money. I’d need cash. I yanked open my safe and pulled out several thick stacks of bills, counting quickly before stuffing them into the bag.
My leather cut hung on the back of a chair. I grabbed it and shrugged it on, the weight familiar and comforting against my shoulders.
I slung the duffel over my shoulder, grabbed my keys, and took one last look at my apartment.
The email was still open on my computer screen.
My daughter’s name, Brynn Leahy, stared back at me.
The life I’d carefully built for myself here now felt like a dream compared to the reality waiting four hours away. Thing was, I wanted both.
“Fuck.” The word came out soft, almost reverent.
In a matter of hours, my entire world had shifted on its axis.
And now I was racing toward a hospital room where two strangers waited.
Except they weren’t strangers at all. They were Lavender, the only woman I’d ever loved, and Brynn, the daughter I never knew I had.
I shut down my computer, locked my apartment door behind me, and headed down the metal stairs to the compound below. The night air hit my face, cool and grounding. Brothers milled about, some nodding in greeting as I passed. They had no idea my life had just exploded. I’d tell them soon enough.
First, I needed to find Jag and Ada. And I needed to talk to Knuckles.
I had a feeling things were about to get complicated. But one thought burned clearer than any other as I strode across the compound, purpose in every step.
My daughter needed me. And nothing on this earth would stop me from getting to her.