Chapter One
Gwyn
“W hat are you drinking?”
I slammed the tumbler down on the bar top, tapping so David would pour me another. I was on a mission, and there was no time to waste with pointless questions from strangers.
“Pickle juice.”
“What?”
I hadn’t bothered to look up from the scarred woodgrain beneath my glass, but I could imagine the confusion on the hopeful’s face.
“Pickle juice?”
David snorted as he poured a measure of clear liquor into my glass before topping it off with the offending liquid mentioned. He knew how I wanted it, no fancy glasses or ice to water it down.
“She forgot to mention the vodka.”
I raised my head with a brow arched, pursing my lips as David smirked at me. He was good-looking, if you went for the lean, athletic type, but as a beta, he didn’t have the stature that appealed to my instinctive side.
“That part is boring. It won’t scare him off.”
“Oh, and pickle juice will?” David asked with a laugh.
“Yep, because I’m putting the weird right out there, front and center. Don’t think I don’t drink it straight from the jar at home too.”
David shook his head before sauntering off down the bar to grab a beer for another patron, leaving me with Mr. Hopeful. I wasn’t young enough to have alphas approaching me every time I went out, but it had happened enough lately for me to be bored with it. I was pretty sure I was the only omega my age that wasn’t safely claimed and tucked away with their bonded.
At least, not anymore.
I took a swig of the fresh drink before finally turning my head to inspect the alpha next to me. I hadn’t needed his scent to know his dynamic, the sheer presence of him announced it to anyone with the sense to pay attention, but his massive size was still surprising. Seated on the barstool I was about as tall as I’d be on my feet, but his shoulders were still higher than the top of my head.
Shifter .
He had to be. They were even larger than human alphas, and this dude had to be the biggest man I’d ever seen.
The hair along my arms rose as a chill swept through me, my nipples tightening under my shirt in a confused blend of anxiety and interest. I avoided alphas when I could so I wouldn’t have to deal with the inevitable questions, but I hadn’t had any alcohol at home, and the need to drown the memories brought on by the date had been too strong to let my aversion keep me home. And while I was an omega, I didn’t usually react as strongly to alphas as I had to the stranger looking at me with his full lips lifted in a lopsided grin.
“Weird isn’t a bad thing. If someone was actually normal , they would be the weirdest thing around.”
I couldn’t help the way my cheek twitched, but smiling would only encourage him, and that wasn’t something I wanted to do. I was done with alphas and being controlled. It was time for me to live my life my way.
Lifting my gaze from his mouth, I took in more of his features. He had a thick beard that reached his chest, the dark hairs shot through with streaks of grey, but his dancing green eyes were what stole my attention.
My core clenched, reminding me it had been a while. More than a while. My last heat had been close to a year prior to Anthony’s funeral, and that had been almost a year ago already.
Anthony .
I turned back to the counter, lifting my glass and draining it in another swig before letting it hit the counter. Tapping my fingertips beside the glass, I waited for another, debating telling David to just leave the bottle. I could get drunk faster if I gave up the pickle juice and drank the vodka straight, but I hated the burn of the cheap stuff that was all I could afford.
“Mind if I sit here?”
Mr. Hopeful reminded me he was still there, and I didn’t bother to hide my sigh.
“Whatever. Not like you’d listen if I told you to go away.”
I almost didn’t hear his soft snort over the noise behind us. I’d come in early, as soon as I’d given up working for the day, hoping to accomplish my goal and get back home before the bar got too busy. The Hangout was a favorite of the locals, and there was a biker club that came by regularly, but it was the only bar close enough to walk home afterward. Unfortunately, I’d nursed the first drink while letting David distract me, and now it was getting late, and I was still annoyingly sober.
“Probably not. I’ve found drinking alone tends to be more depressing than what made you drink to begin with.”
Air whooshed out of me, the truth in his words hitting closer to home than I liked. The loneliness was half of what had driven me to the bar.
My phone vibrating in my pocket reminded me I was trying to forget multiple things tonight, but it all came back to the anniversary I wished I could erase.
“Want to talk about it? I’m a good listener.”
The soft murmur was the last thing I’d expected him to say. Brows arching, I turned my head to meet his gaze. His expression was surprisingly earnest, and for a moment I wondered what secrets that big man carried on those broad shoulders.
“I’m here to forget, not reminisce.”
His lips flattened but he nodded as David plunked a beer bottle in front of him before reaching down to grab the pickle juice from beneath the counter for me. The first time I’d come in they hadn’t had any, and I’d been forced to settle for some fruity thing that left a thick taste in my mouth, but the next time there had been a jar with my name on it, and The Hangout had won my loyalty.
The alpha next to me took a drink from his beer as I gulped half my glass, but my attention was still on him. I wasn’t in the mood to be hit on, but it was still nice to have someone to talk to when David was busy with other customers.
“Care to share your name?”
I eyed him, debating over whether I should. Alphas seemed to only want one thing, and while he hadn’t given me a reason to mistrust him yet, experience said it was only a matter of time.
“I can always just call you Beautiful.”
A startled huff escaped, my lips twitching again. He was smooth, I had to give him that. And he seemed sincere. He didn’t give off the sleezy feeling most of the alphas who hit on me had.
“Gwyn.”
His smile stole my breath again, and I stared at his hand stupidly when he held it out toward me.
“Gwyn, I’m Carl.”
My name in his deep voice made my core clench again, and I squeezed my thighs together before gingerly placing my hand in his. His fingers were calloused and rough, his palm warm as he gently shook once before releasing.
I lifted my glass to my lips again, trying to ignore the way my skin tingled where we’d touched.
“Are you new to Hell?”
I gave him a questioning look over the rim as I swallowed and he laughed, taking another mouthful of beer before shaking his head.
“It’s what this area is called. You’ve got Downtown Penford where all the high-rises and such are, Uptown is the nicer area on the East side, and the Warehouse District is on the West along the river. Rolling Glen is farther to the North, and the Slums are all around the outer edges of the city. Hell covers most of the Southeast, between Uptown and the Slums.”
“Ah.”
I wasn’t sure what else to say. According to him I was from the Slums, and I couldn’t argue with the name. There was nothing I missed about my former neighborhood. If I’d have been able to get out of Penford completely, I would have, but I was tied here if I ever wanted to see my boys.
“I guess I’m new to this area, but I’ve lived in Penford for more than twenty years.”
Carl nodded, glancing over his shoulder as the front door opened and two more alphas walked in. He raised a hand toward them in greeting, and it was then I noticed he wore the same vest as the new arrivals. After learning the neighborhood was called Hell, the name stitched on the vests made more sense.
“So, you ride one of those noisy things that are parked outside every night?”
I’d grown used to the sound of the motorcycles passing by, but it had been startling at first. Some were quieter than others, but there were times when they all came by in a group and it sounded like the roar of some mythical beast.
I probably shouldn’t have poked at him since he was an alpha and I knew they had tempers, but he only laughed again as he turned back to the bar.
“Guilty. And mine is probably one of the louder ones.”
He shrugged and took another drink, not apologizing, not that I expected it of an alpha. I’d drop dead of shock if one ever admitted doing something wrong and took responsibility instead of blaming something else for their failure.
“I could take you on a ride, if you’d like.”
My horrification must have been plain on my face, because Carl’s just about split in half, his grin was so big.
“It’s not as scary as it seems, but it’s not for everyone. If you ever change your mind, let me know. It can be a lot of fun to have so much power between your thighs.”
I huffed into my glass as I finished the rest of the liquid it held, ignoring the inuendo. My stomach was pleasantly warm, the world taking on a light layer of fuzz, and the tension in my shoulders was finally melting away, but realizing I was relaxing was all it took to bring the memories back.
David was in front of me before I set my glass down.
“Another?”
His expression was critical even as he held up the bottle. I usually only had one or two when I was looking to relax so I could fall asleep fast, but tonight was going to be harder than usual. I’d managed to keep myself distracted during the day, but going home to the silence of an empty house would only invite the foolish mistakes of the past to keep me occupied instead.
“Yeah, go ahead and make it a double. I don’t plan to stop anytime soon.”
He frowned but poured the liquor anyway, topping off the glass with my pickle juice. At the rate I was going there was a chance it would run out before I was too drunk for the ghosts to remind me how much I hated this day each year it came around.
Bonding was supposed to be a beautiful thing. The anniversary of it was usually celebrated.
But not when it had been unwilling, nor when you’d been bonded by an uncaring alpha who took out his frustrations on you and your children.
Not anymore. I’m free.
I sucked in a deep breath and straightened my shoulders, ignoring the equally concerned look Carl was giving me.
One of the other reasons I’d chosen The Hangout was because the patrons seemed to be mostly shifters, who had a higher alcohol tolerance than a human. One of the bars where I was from wouldn’t have served me more than two glasses since I was not only female, but also an omega. Here, they were used to serving more.
“Do you have a way home tonight?”
I knew David was only doing his job, but the old irritation over being told what I could and couldn’t do still made me scowl.
“I’ll walk, like I always do. It’s not far.”
I didn’t miss the way David glanced at Carl and some kind of silent communication seemed to pass between them. Alphas always thought they had the right to control others, and even betas tried to pull the same shit on omegas since we were considered the weaker dynamic.
I didn’t care what they thought, as long as they stayed out of my way.
In a seeming about-face, David leaned on the counter with a smile and gestured toward Carl.
“You know, this is the guy you should talk to about helping with your café. He does the work here anytime we need something repaired, and he’s helped a lot of people in Hell with projects like that.”
My eyes cut to the burly man at my side. It was easy to picture him working in construction or doing contractor jobs. His size alone would make him better for some of the things that still needed done for me to get my dream up and running.
“The place next door that’s been shut down forever?”
I dipped my chin at his question, trying to hide my grimace at the description. The realtor might have been a little less than upfront about the condition of the building when he’d been talking it up, and I’d been desperate and hopeful enough to ignore the signs until it was too late. Still, making the repairs the building needed gave me a chance to have it my way, and the lower selling price had meant I still had enough left to live off of for a little longer, but if the doors weren’t opened soon, I was going to be in trouble.
“I bought it and I’m converting it into a café.”
Carl hummed, staring at the wall across from us as if he could see through it to inspect the building next door. I hadn’t gotten around to prying the boards off the windows yet since one of the panes needed replaced, so I wasn’t surprised he didn’t know I’d been working on it for almost a month already. It had taken longer than I’d liked to get the purchase and then all the utilities and permits taken care of, and then I’d had to focus on the duplex I’d bought to live in since it hadn’t been in a much better state than the diner. Having a functional place to sleep at night had taken precedence, so the whole process was dragging out longer than I’d ever expected, but I was determined to get it done.
“I’d have to take a look at it to see what I can do, but there isn’t much I haven’t worked on at this point. I won’t touch electrical problems, but I can fix just about anything else.”
He set his beer bottle on the counter after knocking back the last of it, then stood, looking at me expectantly. I still had a full glass, and I was on a mission, but I had to admit I was excited to finally talk to someone about my plans for the place. I didn’t exactly have friends, and despite my initial reluctance, chatting with Carl had done more than drinking alone to distract me. Even though he was an alpha, he didn’t ring the warning bells that usually went off around his dynamic.
“I’ll save your seat and your drink, and you’re perfectly safe with Carl. Or, if you want to wait for morning, I could go with you.”
Part of me warmed at David’s offer, his sincerity clear on his face. He was only a beta and wouldn’t be able to do anything to stop a determined alpha, but it was sweet that he’d offered, and my hesitance didn’t appear to bother Carl.
Sliding to my feet, I shook my head and gave the bartender a smile.
“No reason to make you get up early to go with us, but if we’re not back in thirty, send a search party.”
He chuckled before walking down the bar to another patron flagging him for a drink.
Carl waited for me to head towards the door, keeping a respectful distance between us, but for a moment I worried what others would think of me leaving the bar with an alpha.
I quickly pushed the concern away. I didn’t care what others thought. I was a grown woman, and unbonded, and I had every right to go wherever I wanted, with whomever I wanted.
I could even do what they would be thinking, if I wanted to.
My eyes slid back to the hulking alpha at my side as we turned on the sidewalk outside The Hangout, my core giving an encouraging clench at the last thought. He certainly wasn’t bad looking, and his easy-going manner was at complete odds with what I expected from alphas, but he was still a stranger, and I didn’t need more complications in my life.
“The place seems a little big to make it into just a café. You sure you don’t want to keep it a diner and have more tables?”
His question pulled my focus back to where it was supposed to be. Staring at the dark shape ahead of us, I wrapped my arms around myself as I tried to find a way to explain my vision. The summer heat was finally giving way to fall, and the chill now that the sun had disappeared was a distraction, but it wasn’t the only thing making my mood drop again.
“Part of it is going to be kind of a lounge area, with bookshelves and comfy chairs. I’ll stock new releases for sale, but I mostly want it to be like a lending library, where people can come find a book that looks good, and be free to read it as they eat, or to take it home with them. I don’t want it to be a place where people just come to get food, and then leave. I want them to linger and enjoy the space and community.”
My shoulders hunched further after I’d spoken the words aloud, my dream sounding silly in the dark as we approached the door at the side of the building. Anthony would have laughed at me, calling me stupid for not aiming for maximum profits, but money had never been the reason I wanted to open something like this. I just wanted a place where I could share my love of reading and baking and make people comfortable. I wanted to give them a place to escape to when they didn’t have anywhere else to go.
“That sounds nice. It’ll be good for the community, and it’ll be more manageable for a small staff if you keep the menu small too.”
I perked up at Carl’s rumbled praise, freezing with the keys in my hand as I looked up at him. He had caught on to another reason I’d decided to convert the diner into a café, and he’d sounded genuine in his approval. It was strange to have someone agreeing with my decision instead of telling me how stupid and incapable I was.
“Exactly.”
My response came out weak as I turned back to unlock the door, emotions swirling inside me. I knew there were good alphas, that not all of them were like the one I’d been bonded to or the others he’d associated with, but it was still hard not to automatically assume the worst after living with it for so long.
The lock snicked open, and I turned the knob, pulling on the handle. It had always stuck a little, but this time, even an extra jerk didn’t make it budge, and my cheeks heated as my stomach sank, stealing the budding warmth Carl’s praise had brought.
Firm fingers pressed into my hip, stealing my breath and stopping my heart as the budding panic in my chest found a new target.