Chapter Four
Carl
M y bear had snarled when I turned away from Gwyn’s door and headed back down the sidewalk to the street. My instincts wanted me to stay and protect the omega while she was vulnerable, but lingering outside her home would only draw suspicion. I doubted any of the neighbors would call the cops since we all knew how unreliable they were, but I didn’t need Gwyn to think I was a stalker.
The walk back to the bar went faster without having to keep myself to her pace, but it was still too much time to think. I tried to occupy myself with plans for the renovation of her café, but the dark and the silence surrounding me was like an anchor, dragging me back to the nights I’d spent in the desert, wondering if they would be my last.
The light and noise of the bar was a beacon, drawing me in despite the late hour, but I didn’t need to enter to know the Knights had left. My bike was the lone one remaining in the parking lot, although there were still a couple cars parked by David’s old truck. I went in long enough to let him know Gwyn had made it home, but he was already busy cleaning up and getting ready to close for the night, so I headed back out into the dark once I’d delivered the news.
The rumble of my hog was a welcome break in the silence around me as I cranked it and rolled out onto the street. Others found the dropping temperatures too cold to go for night rides, especially in nothing but a t-shirt and our cut, but it was nothing to me. My bear enjoyed it, even if it made me want to curl up and sleep.
I roared down the road, heading away from the residential areas of Hell. Downtown was always open, but I didn’t want the press of people around me. The Slums were more alive at night than they were in daylight hours, and we usually tried to avoid riding through them alone, but the itch under my skin was sending me out of Penford.
I could have gone to one of the parks set aside for shifters, but they always made my anxiety worse. It felt like a trap waiting to be sprung since most humans avoided them, and with the Purists breathing down our necks over our last encounter, it was safer to head out to the forest to shift.
The highway was empty, and I poured on speed, pushing my bike to its limit. The Knights came out to the forest together on the weekends, and we stuck to the rules of the road since we drew more attention as a group, but alone I could be as reckless as I wanted.
The wind turned my beard into tiny whips that lashed my bare neck, but the sting kept me focused. Flying down the road with nothing but the noise of my bike was the closest to free I’d ever felt, and my bear finally settled, the anxiety that had ridden me all day easing away with nothing around me to guard against.
I reached the turnoff we usually used in less than half the time it should have taken, the growl of my bike fading away as I cut the engine. I didn’t waste any time stripping down and letting my bear take over, the change rippling out from my center. Fur spread along my limbs as they grew, bones thickening, the ground receding until I tipped forward and stood on all fours instead of upright.
With my animal in charge, my worries faded, taking a backseat to more important things, like the scent of late berries hidden somewhere in the forest ahead of me. Ambling along one of the many paths, I finally got to let go and stop thinking. The soil beneath my paws, the night sounds surrounding me, and the urge to find and demolish those berries were my only concerns. It didn’t matter how long I walked, or what I had to face in the future.
I let my bear wander and eat, sating instincts buried deep in my DNA, until I felt the shift in the air that meant sunrise was on its way. My bear was happy to turn over control since it meant going back to our den to sleep, although the few hours I got each night were never enough for it.
The ride back to the city felt longer. The Slums were dead with the night already over, but people who worked the early shifts were starting to stir as I passed through Hell to my house. I killed the engine as I turned onto my street to spare my neighbors, coasting onto my driveway. I didn’t bother opening the garage to drag my bike inside since I’d be leaving again shortly. I’d helped every person on my street in one way or another, and I trusted them enough to leave it out in the open if it wasn’t due to rain.
Dim silence greeted me as I opened the door and dragged my weary body through the living room to chug a glass of water before heading for bed. Pushing myself to exhaustion was the only way for me to sleep, and it was a relief to drop onto my mattress and close my burning eyes.
Between one breath and the next I was gone, but despite my exhaustion, I was restless. Gunfire echoed in my ears, the burn of bullets penetrating my hide making my muscles twitch. Screams and shouts mingled with the noises around me, rage tangling with fear in my chest, and I woke with a start, jerking upright to stare at the wall as the memories tried to cling to my mind. I was drenched in sweat, my heart pounding, claws protruding from my fingers as fur slowly receded from my arms.
Once I could focus on the room around me, I glanced at the clock, groaning when it told me I’d only slept three hours. Knowing there was no chance of going back to sleep, I levered myself out of the tangle of bedding around me and peeled off my clothing to shower. The project I was working on was close to done, but the owner of the home wasn’t available to let me in until noon, so I had time to kill. I debated heading out to Sebastian’s shop to see if he needed any help, but since the old shop in Hell had burned down, he’d relocated closer to Downtown where there was more business and he was closer to his new house in Uptown, and I didn’t feel up to dealing with the traffic there and back.
Once I’d dried and dressed, I sent a message to Jackson to make sure the kid was up and ready for his therapy appointment, threatening to come bang on his door if I didn’t get a picture of the inside of the office within the next thirty minutes. I had to laugh when I received a selfie of him flipping me off in front of the sign to the building.
He hadn’t liked the physical therapy he’d been forced to do since recovering from what had been done to him by the Purists, and he was even less thrilled about the other therapy, but he needed it. He still refused to shift, and denying his wolf was taking its toll on him.
At a loss over what to do until I could get to work, I found myself on my bike, heading toward The Hangout. It was habit to head in that direction, and had nothing to do with the chance I might see a certain omega next door to my favorite place.
I grinned into the wind, knowing I was lying to myself, but it was fine. I had nothing better to do, and thoughts of her were a healthier distraction than anything else I could linger on.
I pulled into the parking lot of the old diner, disappointed when I didn’t see a vehicle parked outside, but I hadn’t seen one at her home either. She didn’t have a garage, so it was possible she didn’t have a car. She lived close enough to the building to walk, and there were buses to get around if she needed to go farther, but it still stirred my instincts to think she didn’t have a safe and secure way to get where she needed at any time.
A dark head poked out the door as I rolled past, silver strands catching the sunlight and looking like glitter scattered through her hair. The scowl on her face showed how she was feeling after the previous night, and the way she cocked her hip and crossed her arms over her chest as I put my kickstand down only made me want to swoop her up and kiss the attitude out of her before putting her back to bed.
“Good morning, Beautiful. How are you feeling?”
I gave her my best grin, burying all my own shit in the box I kept it in during the day.
“What are you doing here? We agreed on Tuesday.”
Chuckling as I closed the distance between us, I lifted one shoulder in a shrug.
“I’ve got time to kill, so I figured I’d come take a look at the door frame now that I’ve got light to see. I can check the roof too and see if we need to put a tarp down for the weekend since it’s supposed to rain Sunday.”
Her frown remained but the crease between her brows softened as she turned her eyes up toward the top of the wall behind her.
“I don’t have a ladder.”
I shrugged again when she looked back at me.
“There’s one at The Hangout. David won’t care if I borrow it, and I’ve got a key to the back.”
Her brow arched at that, but she let her arms drop to her sides as she heaved a sigh.
“Okay. I’ll be inside.”
She disappeared through the door, having to yank it shut behind her, and I shoved away the disappointment as her scent faded from the air. She still didn’t fully trust me, but that was fine. I’d crack her shell eventually.
It only took a few minutes to fetch the ladder from the back of The Hangout. Heights weren’t really a favorite of mine, my bear preferred to keep our feet firmly on solid ground, but I’d gotten used to the queasy feeling and could ignore it long enough to do what was needed. I was still careful as I walked around, testing each step before placing my weight on it, because the last thing I wanted was to fall through.
I’d sketched out a picture of the roof and where there was damage and was back on the ground when a thud from the inside of the door alerted me to a problem. Before I could get to it, it thwacked open and Gwyn stumbled out, cursing as she tried to keep from spilling the coffee she was carrying.
My hands were wrapped around her flesh before I could stop myself, bracing her arms to steady her as she blinked up at me. I should have let go and stepped back, given her the space she’d clearly wanted the night before, but the feel of her softness in my palms had me hanging on as my shaft stiffened within my jeans.
“I was trying to bring you coffee, but I think I’m wearing half of it now.”
Her words pulled my gaze from her face down to her cleavage and the dark stain across one breast. Her arm was speckled with pinkened skin where the coffee had burned her, but she didn’t seem to notice.
“I don’t mind licking it off you.”
Her little gasp had my focus shifting again, and my cock throbbed as I zeroed in on her parted lips, her already sweet scent growing thicker with the smell of slick.
“I—What? Here.”
She thrust the mug she held into my chest, stepping back and forcing distance between us. I could have held on, kept her close to me, but a trickle of bitter fear filled the air between us and killed the amorous thoughts that had leapt into my mind. I’d never been one to force my attention on someone who wasn’t interested, and I wouldn’t start with Gwyn, no matter how much I was starting to crave her.
“Thank you.”
I let my fingers brush hers as I moved my hands to the mug, but she jerked away, keeping her eyes downcast as her chest heaved. The way she reacted made me wonder what had happened to her to make her so afraid, and anger surged forward to kill any lingering lust.
Clearing my throat, I forced everything away and pretended like the last few minutes hadn’t happened.
“There are some shingles missing in a few places, and you’ve got some soft spots that mean the wood below is rotting. I’ll have to rip up the old plywood and replace it before putting down new roofing to stop the leaks.”
Although she still wouldn’t meet my eyes, her chin lifted, and her features cleared as she nodded.
“I’ve got to go to the hardware store anyway, so I’ll grab tarps. If you can leave the ladder and maybe mark the spots, I’ll get them put up later and return the ladder to Da—”
“No.”
Guilt hit me in the gut as soon as I cut her off, her startled gaze finding mine as her breath caught and she jerked back. The burnt scent of fear thickened, and the urge to purr to ease her discomfort was almost overwhelming, but I doubted she would have welcomed the sound even if it helped her relax.
“No,” I repeated, gentling my tone. “I don’t want you climbing on the roof. It can be dangerous. I’ll swing by after I’m done with the work I need to do today and take care of it. Just pick up two ten-foot tarps, or if the tarps are too much, I can make painter’s plastic work for the weekend.”
The tension in her body eased and my bear retracted his claws from my insides.
“I don’t want to inconvenience you…”
She trailed off when I shook my head.
“I’ll be coming to The Hangout anyway, so it’s no problem. And I’ll see what I can do about the door before I have to go.”
I pulled my notepad out of my thigh pocket and scratched my number on a blank sheet before ripping it out and passing it to her.
“In case you get stuck inside,” I said with a wink when her brow rose.
She let out a weak laugh, but her shoulders dropped as she tucked the paper into the pocket of her faded jeans.
“I hope that doesn’t happen, but thanks. With my luck…”
She trailed off again, the little smile that had played around her lips fading as she looked at the door, but I knew it was more than just that problem weighing on her. It was hard to struggle for everything, and doing it alone was twice as tough.
“We’ll get this place going in no time. Don’t worry about it.”
The smile she offered didn’t reach her eyes, but it made me more determined to be sure the dream she’d described to me came true. Everyone deserved a chance at happiness, and if this was what she wanted, I’d make it happen.