Chapter Twenty-Three
Gwyn
T he night was a blur.
I remembered stumbling from the bed at some point to scrounge food for the two of us after I heard Carl’s stomach rumbling, his cocky grin at the way I walked imprinting itself in my mind.
He’d earned it.
But most of the night was a sweaty haze similar to a heat, which left me worried when I woke the next morning, half squished under Carl’s massive form. Getting worked up like that with him could rush my heat into coming sooner.
Would that be a bad thing?
I had to consider the question when it popped into my head. If I went into heat before the Purists got ahold of me they wouldn’t be able to use it against me, but I also wouldn’t put it past any of them to take me against my will even if I wasn’t in heat. An alpha couldn’t just walk up and bite me outside a heat to create a bond, but all it would take was his seed inside me and his saliva in my bloodstream, neither of which I had to be willing to receive.
Not wanting to think about it, I listened to the steady thump of Carl’s heart and his soft snores. I tended to run cold and always seemed to wake up with frozen toes, so the warmth radiating from him was comforting. He looked so peaceful when I managed to wiggle onto my back and could see his face, but I really needed to use the bathroom and clean up, so I didn’t have much choice about waking him.
“Carl? Carl!”
I called softly at first, then a bit louder, but he didn’t stir. Freeing a hand from the tangle of bedding we were wrapped in, I reached up to stroke the side of his face but let out a startled scream when he jerked upright, growling.
Eyes unfocused, head jerking to look around, it was the bitter tinge of fear in his scent that made my heart stumble.
“Hey, it’s me. Gwyn. You’re in my nest, in my home. Everything is okay.”
I’d laid my hand against his chest when he’d startled me, and I could feel his heartbeat thundering beneath my fingertips. The hair all over him had grown longer and taken on a brownish hue, and his nails had turned into black claws. I had no idea if he’d been having a bad dream or if it was an instinctive reaction to protect me caused by our pheromones, but the omega part of me knew I needed to soothe him.
“Gwyn? Damn, I’m sorry. I must have been sound asleep.”
He said it as if that was a rare occurrence for him, and I remembered that he’d mentioned being in the Army before coming to Penford. It was hard not to wonder if he had any of the issues so many soldiers faced after their time in service, and the omega side of me stirred even more.
“It’s okay. I wouldn’t have woken you, but I kinda need to pee.”
It was clear he hadn’t realized he was pinning me to the bed until that moment, and the way his cheeks flushed pink above his beard was adorable. He mumbled another apology as he moved off me, and I couldn’t help chuckling. Despite the thoughts I’d woken up with, I was still in a better mood than usual for first thing in the morning.
The door of the bathroom was one of the things I still needed to fix since it wouldn’t close all the way due to the screws having pulled out of the lower hinge, but it seemed a little silly to worry about him hearing me pee after he’d had his face all up in my business and gotten coated in my slick. Moving loosened some of the crusted fluids on my thighs, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle walking around like that, so I turned on the water to warm and poked my head around the door jamb.
“I can make some breakfast for you, but I need to clean up first. Give me fifteen minutes.”
I heard him respond but couldn’t make out the words since I’d already pulled the door as closed as I could get it. Figuring it was probably just an acknowledgment, I turned and padded to the tub, tweaking the water until I was able to step under the showerhead without freezing or boiling alive. I had my eyes scrunched closed, head tipped back to wet my hair, when suddenly there were hands sliding up my ribs.
The shriek I released echoed in the small room, my eyes popping open only to slam shut again under the deluge of water since I’d jerked backwards under the flow. If the hands hadn’t tightened and pulled me against a broad chest, I would have ended up on my ass, with a new bruise to go along with the others I’d earned over the past month.
“Sorry to startle you. I figured it would save a bit of water if we washed together.”
The feel of the rough hair on his chest rubbing my nipples had them tightening, the rumble of his voice making my core give a weak flutter despite the soreness between my thighs. I didn’t know how I could possibly want more after how many orgasms he’d given me throughout the night, but somehow my body still responded.
He was looking down at me as if waiting for permission, so I said the only thing I could considering he was already in the shower with me.
“Of course.”
How could I deny him when he was already dripping from the spray of the water, and I couldn’t force myself to pull away from his chest?
“I’ll do this part.”
My hands were still buried in my hair, leaving everything exposed, so I had no chance of blocking him when he took hold of my bodywash and squirted it onto my chest before putting it down to take hold of my loofa. He kept his other hand on my back the whole time, holding me to him as he rubbed the loofa through the soap and spread it around. We both knew there were much easier ways of doing it, but neither of us seemed willing to step back, even when he had to wedge his hand between us to soap my breasts and belly.
Closing my eyes, I let my head drop back to finish wetting my hair. It was hard not to let myself get caught up in the feel of him washing me as he worked his way lower, but we couldn’t waste another day in my bed, even if the idea made the omega part of me perk up and practically beg for it.
“What’s your plan for today?”
It was difficult to pull my thoughts together long enough to form a whole sentence, but I needed something to take my attention off the other thoughts.
“Well, I need to finish your roof, and then I’ll get started on the dividing wall in the dining room if that works for you.”
His hand circled as he spoke, spreading the lather between us until we were both slippery. I had to get my hair out of the spray to shampoo it, and with as large as he was, there wasn’t any room to move away from the water, so the only option I had left was to turn and let the spray start washing off my front. The thick length of him nestled along the crack of my ass, stiff and throbbing, making my core clench again as I sucked in a fortifying breath to keep from rubbing against him and torturing us both.
“That sounds good. The company to replace the cooler door is coming later, and I was going to work on the flooring in the dining room after I do another coat of paint on the walls.”
If I hadn’t been in contact with his chest I wouldn’t have known it rumbled, the pitch so low it wasn’t audible. I wasn’t sure what could have caused it, but the suspicion that it was typical alpha bullshit helped pull my thoughts away from the places we were touching and onto more important things.
“The counters for the kitchen will be coming soon, and the tables a few days after that, so I’ve got to get it taken care of. I planned it out, and if things work out right, I might be able to do a soft-launch next month. If the café is even still mine by then.”
I couldn’t help tacking on the last sentence as memories from the day before intruded. My shoulders drooped and Carl’s hands froze. He’d already soaped my back, and my hair was full of suds, so I turned to face him again, ignoring the way my skin tingled as it slid across his.
“Don’t worry about that. Keep moving forward, and we’ll face any issues that get in the way when they appear.”
It wasn’t much of a plan, but having someone willing to support me was nice. Some of the weight on my shoulders lifted, and I sighed as Carl’s fingers working along my scalp, pushing mine aside to take over rinsing out the suds. I’d never had someone tend to me the way he did, and it was almost enough to want him to stay.
Clean and rinsed, I dragged my eyelids open once he’d run his fingers through my hair one last time before letting them drop to my lower back.
“Why don’t you get started on breakfast while I finish washing? You need a good meal to keep your energy up.”
I couldn’t help huffing a laugh at him repeating something I’d told my boys so many times. And while a deep satisfaction permeated my body from the number of orgasms I’d had since the previous afternoon, tiredness also dragged at the edges of my mind, warning me it was going to be a long day if I didn’t find another way to replace the rest I’d sacrificed.
“Sausage and scrambled eggs?”
“Perfect.”
The rumble in his words had my skin buzzing again, and I practically fled the shower before I upended the plans for the day, because I doubted he’d stop me if I dropped to my knees like I was tempted to and had him for breakfast instead.
Tucking a towel around myself, I left another out for Carl before slipping from the bathroom in search of clothing. I was still damp as I dragged on a pair of jeans and another plain t-shirt, tying my wet hair back in a ponytail instead of dealing with it properly. Anthony had always wanted me to look presentable , and while I enjoyed looking nice, the memories made me happy I had an excuse to wear ratty clothing every day instead. Eventually I’d convince myself to dress up again, but holey jeans and stained tops had become my shield.
Only, Carl hadn’t ever seemed to notice the shield, slipping beneath my guard with no more effort than it took to be decent to someone of a different dynamic.
Sighing, I shook my head as I walked to the kitchen barefoot. I knew it was ridiculous to keep having the same argument with myself over and over, but every time I firmed my resolve to keep him in the friend zone, he came smashing through the barrier and showed me what I was missing.
And I was missing it.
The satisfaction of taking care of another.
The comfort of having someone there to support my wants and needs.
It wasn’t just the sex, which was mind-blowing and more than enough to change my mind about alphas. It was also the easy companionship we’d naturally fallen into, despite both of us having rough spots in our past. While I’d tried to tell myself the reason I’d let down my guard so fast was because my heat was coming and hormones were screwing with my brain, and obviously my instincts couldn’t be trusted because they’d led me so wrong in the past, it was hard to believe when he kept proving how good he was.
Leaning my forehead against the fridge, I sucked in a deep breath and reminded myself I had more important things to focus on than one alpha wrestling himself into my life. If I wasn’t careful, my life wouldn’t be mine much longer, and all the freedom I’d earned would evaporate. Figuring out my relationship with Carl would have to wait.