Chapter Thirty-Five
Gwyn
I walked in a bubble, not even realizing where I was until I couldn’t go any farther because I stood in front of my closed door. I knew it was foolish not to stay aware of my surroundings, but I just couldn’t seem to shake the numbness that had invaded my body when I saw the words scrawled on the wall of the café.
Whore.
Animal fucker.
Betrayer.
The last hurt the worst for some reason. I’d never betrayed anyone, but I’d sure been on the receiving end.
Had Adam been there when it was done? Had he been the one to leave the vileness behind when they couldn’t find me?
My breath caught as my throat closed around the pain of thinking my son had been involved in defacing my dream. I honestly didn’t care what they thought of me, and they could have done worse to my café than spray paint the outer walls, but it hurt to think my son would do such a thing.
And I wasn’t under any delusion that they had kept the damage to a minimum for anything other than saving the cost to themselves, since I was certain they still thought they’d be taking it from me. Even if they planned to do nothing more than resell the building, they wouldn’t want to do anything that would cost too much to repair.
How long would it be?
The not knowing was the worst part. The waiting and watching over my shoulder. It was only a matter of time before they showed up to collect their wayward omega. Being at the store was all that had saved me from being taken, I was certain of it. If I had been at the café, or even at home, I had no doubt all my plans for the future would be gone.
Would they force me right away, or would they wait until my heat made me pliant?
What if they didn’t plan to give me to another alpha to claim, but pass me around between the unmated?
My hands clenched, the prick of my fingernails digging into my palms grounding me.
Never .
I was done being a servant to people who cared nothing for me. Whether I was given to one, or shared, my life would be so much worse than it had been with Anthony, and after having this small taste of freedom, I couldn’t survive another day like that.
I was still standing in front of my door, staring at it as if I’d forgotten how to turn a knob, but I didn’t want to go inside. Even if my son and the others he’d told hadn’t come to my home, it still felt like it had been violated. It had my name on it, and if they’d found the café, I couldn’t believe they hadn’t found it too. The duplex wasn’t safe.
Sucking in a deep breath, I made a decision. If I was going to start over, to truly take charge of my life and live it the way I wanted, I needed to stop wasting time and letting fear dictate my actions. There was no way for me to know what my future held, but I was ready to fight for what I wanted it to have.
I turned around, ready to walk back to The Hangout, until I spotted a shadow moving across the street. My heart leaped into my throat, adrenaline flooding my system even as my body frozen in place.
The movement stopped, and I stared at the place I’d seen it for so long I was starting to get lightheaded before the shadow stepped forward and materialized into the shape of what could only be a shifter alpha. It was too massive to be any of the Purists, but it wasn’t quite as broad across the shoulders as Carl, so my heart still refused to drop back down into my chest.
“I didn’t mean to startle you, Carl just wanted to be sure you got home safe.”
Muscles loosening, warmth spread through me as I finally released the breath I’d held. As the alpha approached the opposite edge of the street I could see him better, and I vaguely recognized the pale blond as a regular at The Hangout, and if I hadn’t, the vest he wore left no confusion as to why he would be following me. The tiny part of me who’d been holding onto my independence with a grip set to strangle me protested being followed without permission, but the bigger part, the newer, smarter part, was glad someone cared.
“Thank you, but I think I’m going to go back. I’d rather be with him.”
I had no idea if it was the threat of the Purists coming to the house, or if it had happened before that, but I realized my words were true. There was a greater pull to Carl than there was to the nest behind me, my instincts tell me that home was where my alpha was. If he wasn’t here, I didn’t want to be either.
Because Carl was my alpha.
I’d fought it despite the draw I’d felt to him from the beginning, but there was no denying it. Every part of me yearned for him, missed him when he wasn’t there, and wanted him in ways I’d never wanted any other. Where I’d hated Anthony’s intrusion into my inner self, I craved the connection to Carl.
The alpha across the street studied me as I closed the distance between us, seeming to debate over trying to stop me, before shrugging when I reached his side. “Okay,” was all he said, stepping aside. It still felt wrong to be close to an alpha who wasn’t Carl, but there wasn’t the same gut-churning fear I’d had before as the stranger paced beside me.
Oddly relaxed despite the events of the night, my mind wandered as we made our way up the street toward The Hangout. I knew Carl would be disgruntled at my return, but I was ready to deal with him, so there was nothing to occupy my thoughts until I was standing before my bear of an alpha.
I eyed the man next to me, envying the easy way he moved and the poise he possessed. If I remembered correctly, he was one of the quieter guys, and he gave off a refined air that was at odds with the leather and the fact that he rode a motorcycle. If I had seen him without the vest in a different area of the city, I’d have guess he was someone of importance, used to being obeyed without question, but without the menacing vibe some men with power gave off.
“We haven’t been introduced. I’m Gwyn. I’m opening a café next to The Hangout.”
His attention swung to me and for a moment I was distracted by how pale his eyes were. I’d never seen anything like them before, and a shiver rolled down my spine as I wondered if it had something to do with his animal and what it might be. Carl had said it wasn’t offensive to ask, but I wasn’t sure I was ready for what this alpha’s answer might be.
The look he gave me wasn’t quite a smile, but I had a feeling he wasn’t one to use that expression often.
“I’m Patch.”
The name only fed my curiosity, but as we swung around the corner and my café came into view, I shoved it aside and focused on the alpha I was about to have to convince to do exactly what I’d asked him not to. I didn’t even notice when Patch stopped walking with me, finding myself crossing the parking lot between the bar and the three men getting ready to paint on my own.
They’d moved fast, two of them priming a sprayer as Carl used a roller to get the first layer of paint over the nasty words marring my building. I waited until he stopped and turned to load more paint onto the roller before calling his name.
“Carl.”
His head snapped up, eyes locking on mine despite the distance and darkness between us. I had barely pulled in another breath before he was in front of me, hands taking hold of my shoulders as he searched my face.
“Gwyn, what’s wrong? Is it your house? Did they do this there too?”
My smile seemed to confuse him, but it stopped his rising panic.
“Yes, and no. No, they didn’t do anything to it, but yes, there’s something wrong with it.”
His brows bunched and I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. Carl cared so much, and it was so obvious, and I couldn’t figure out how I’d blinded myself to it.
“What?”
“You’re not there. It doesn’t feel right.”
The rest of the tension in his body drained away and his lips lifted. Pulling me closer, he wrapped his arms around me, enclosing me in his warmth and scent. It was something I wanted to enjoy every day for the rest of my life.
“I told you I’d come as soon as I fixed this.”
He murmured the words into my hair before pressing his lips to my head. Tipping my head back, I pursed mine and demanded he give me a kiss where I wanted it, but I kept it chaste before pulling back a little to see him better.
“I don’t want to be there. I want you to take me to your place.”
There was a whisper of fear in the back of my mind that he would deny me. That was his space after all, and he might not want me there.
It disappeared with the purr that poured from his chest, vibrating beneath my fingers where they pressed against his shirt.
“I’d love to take you to my home, but what about your nest? Your heat?”
I heard the uncertainty in his voice, but I didn’t want him worrying about any of that. I knew I was on the cusp of my heat, knew he’d planned to push me into it tonight, before this had happened, and I wanted it.
“I can make a nest anywhere. I want to start over. Again. With you. I want you to send me into heat, and I want you to claim me, Carl. And not because I’m scared of them, but because I want you as my alpha.”
His purr faded away, his chest stilling as he held his breath. He stared down at me with a stunned expression, and if it wasn’t for the sudden surge against my belly, I’d have worried he wasn’t as excited as I was. His cock was certainly trying to do its part as it strained against his jeans, but it took a moment for the rest of him to catch up.
A low rumble filled the space around us, and he held me tighter, crushing our bodies together. My middle cramped, and wetness soaked into my underwear, making me grimace as my skin suddenly became over-sensitive.
“Are you sure?”
Just the fact that he checked before carrying me away assured me I was making the right decision. Carl was nothing like Anthony or any of the other Purists who’d put me through hell for the first half of my life. I’d take living in Hell with Carl over proving I could do everything on my own.
Who wanted to be alone?
“Forget the paint. Take me home. Make me yours.”
His eyes flashed orange and a shudder rolled through him before I found myself head down over his shoulder. Squawking as I clutched at his back to stop from swinging, I missed half of what he called out to the others, his long strides eating up the space between us and where he’d left his motorcycle.
“…make sure it looks the way it did this morning, and that someone stays posted nearby. Remind Sebastian I’ll be busy for a few days, and don’t let Jackass skip his appointments.”
I lifted my head just in time to see one of the two we were leaving behind flip Carl the bird while the other laughed, waving when he saw me looking back.
“I’d say have fun, but it would take more than the five minutes you’re capable of. Maybe Patch can bring over some performance enhancers, so she doesn’t regret being stuck with you.”
It was Carl’s turn to throw a finger over his shoulder, and all I could do was shake my head, a smile on my face despite my position. Life with Carl certainly wasn’t going to be dull.
I was still smiling when he flipped me back over, letting me slide down his body in a way that had my nipples tightening and my stomach spasming again. I had to clench my thighs together, worried I was going to soak right through my pants too, but my smile disappeared when I looked to the side and noticed we were standing next to his motorcycle.
“Uhhhh. Shit.”
He raised a brow, glancing from me to his bike and back.
“I can go ask David for his truck?”
Grimacing, I sucked in a breath and shook my head. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to talk with David like I’d wanted to before I’d seen what had been done to the café, and I certainly didn’t want to leave him stranded by taking his vehicle.
“No, it’s fine. I know you won’t let anything happen.”
Carl purred as he wrapped his arms around me, dropping a kiss to my mouth before pulling away.
“Never. I’ll always protect you.”
Even without a bond, I knew he was telling the truth. Carl would do whatever it took to keep me safe, so I could face this fear for him.
Nodding, I stepped back and waited for him to take a seat. I’d seen others ride together, so I knew I needed to get on behind him and hold his waist, and it was easier than I’d feared it might be. I shivered from nerves more than the chill in the air as I waited for him to crank the engine, and I let out a squeak when it rumbled to life beneath me.
The vibrations penetrated my legs and worked their way up, coalescing in my spread center. Clenching, I dug my fingers into Carl’s belly, making him glance over his shoulder at me.
“Holy shit.”
I could barely gasp the words out, another cramp wetting my folds as I struggled to process what was happening. I didn’t know if it was because I was so close to my heat, or if was just the way it felt to ride a motorcycle, but my cheeks heated as my core clenched again.
The smirk on Carl’s face made me think he knew exactly what I was going through, but he thankfully didn’t mention it.
“Hold on tight. It’s not far.”
Biting my lip, I nodded before burying my face in his back, hoping I wouldn’t start the night off orgasming on the back of his bike before we even made it to his house. I was certain I’d never live it down if I did.