Chapter Ten
Judah inhaled, letting the smell of burning coals and grilled meat fill his senses. There were few scents he enjoyed more than a thick ribeye being cooked outside. He moved the corn on the cob to the top rack where it would stay warm then flipped the steaks.
He heard the doorbell chiming, and hurried through the house to let Maegan in. She wore the same outfit she’d had on earlier, a pair of wide leg jeans and a magenta sweater that complemented her creamy complexion.
“I stopped by the diner and picked up a gallon of sweet tea.” She held up the plastic jug.” The salad I made on my own, even the dressing.”
“You made your own dressing?” Reaching out, he took the tea from her.
“It’s a simple balsamic vinegarette, but it goes well with the berry salad.”
“Is that like the one your mom made last week?” Berries in a non-fruit salad had been a foreign concept to him, but he’d been surprised how much he’d loved the salad comprised of spring mix, feta cheese, strawberries, blueberries, and pecans.
“Yes, I remember how you raved about it, so I made that instead of a regular tossed salad. The only difference from mom’s is the dressing. She used a raspberry vinegarette, but this balsamic one works just as well. Even mom switches back and forth.”
“I’m sure it’s delicious.” He jerked his head in the direction of the rear of the house. “The steaks are almost finished.”
“Good because I’m hungry. It wasn’t until I closed shop for the day that I realized I never ate.”
“If you leave hungry tonight, that’s on you.” He opened the back door for her. “You can set the salad on the patio table. I’ll bring out dishes and utensils.”
Ten minutes later, they were sitting outside, eating their meal. He’d lit the firepit to ward off the slight chill that hit once the sun had set.
“This steak is amazing.” Maegan’s appreciation for the food showed in her eagerness to savor each bite. “I’m spoiled for life. I’ll never be able to enjoy one the same at a steakhouse again.”
Her enthusiastic praise did wonders for his male ego. “Anytime you want a steak, let me know and I’ll make you one.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she teased. “You have no idea how much I enjoy a ribeye or porterhouse.”
He chuckled and pointed to a small bit of steak juice on her chin. “Oh, I think I have an idea.”
“Do I have food on me? Oh dear.” She hurriedly grabbed a napkin and dabbed the spot away. “I did warn you.”
“You did, and I’m glad you like to eat. Alyssa would eat like a bird in front of me, but when she thought I wasn’t looking, she would shovel away food. I’ll never understand why some women hide an appetite from men.”
Maegan’s face contorted into a scowl. “As a woman, I can attest to the many societal pressures we face. I was fortunate to have parents who taught me to be myself and to find my identity in God, but many women don’t have that influence.”
“That’s a shame for them.”
“Honestly, even with my upbringing and strong faith, I let what happen with Jess wreak havoc on me. I just realized that I can be judgmental of those women, yet I’ve done the same thing- let a man control my actions and emotions.
” Her scowl turned into a full frown. “How didn’t I realize that until now? ”
A wave of sympathy struck him. Extending his arm across the table, he took her hand. “Don’t be hard on yourself. None of us are perfect, and after what Jess did, your subsequent reactions seem normal.”
Her frown began to fade. “There is a plus side to what happened with Jess that I realized. If we had stayed together then I’d be with him now, married to the wrong person, and not here with you.”
He smiled and shot her a wink. “If I ever meet Jess, remind me to thank him for being a jerk and calling off your wedding.”
Maegan broke out into a wide grin. “I think I will thank him also.”
“Can I make a confession?” He waited for her approval before continuing. “I’m going to miss you while I’m away. Our friendship means the world to me. When I had the idea of pretending to be interested in each other and dating, I had my reservations, but I’m glad we did.”
“Me too,” she whispered but with an odd expression lingering in her eyes. “We’ve had fun these last three weeks, haven’t we?”
“The most fun.”
Their eyes locked, and he became hyperaware of his hand still on hers. The urge to help her to her feet, take her in his arms, and kiss her both overwhelmed and terrified him. Suddenly her hand became like one of the scorched coals in the grill and he released it abruptly.
Where had that come from? What had he been thinking? Maegan was a friend. A very dear friend, but only that. He wasn’t ready to date again. Though he’d forgiven Alyssa, his heart remained fragile.
Apparently sensing the shift, Maegan cleared her throat. “Did you get everything packed that you need?”
“Other than toiletries, but I’ll add those in the morning once I’m ready.”
“Is your family excited to see you?” She resumed eating her steak, though with less gusto than moments ago.
“Only Dad knows in my immediate family, but Aunt Jenny also knows. I wanted to make sure I could see her with the small availability of free time I’ll have.
Dad invited her and my uncle to dinner on Saturday, along with the twins, but Becka and Candace don’t know I’ll be there. I’ll show up and surprise them.”
“That will be fun. My parents did something similar when Drake was in college. He attended a small university in upstate New York, so his visits home were scarce. They told me with Thanksgiving so close to Christmas, him coming home for Turkey Day wasn’t possible that year.
Our church always has a special service that Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, and I did think it odd my parents didn’t attend, but I took their word that something came up they had to take care of.
Little did I know that something was picking up Drake at the airport. ”
“Did they make you wait until Thanksgiving Day to see him?”
She took a sip of tea. “After the fact, Mom and Dad told me that was their original plan, but Drake talked them out of it. He said with such limited time, he’d rather spend it with me than hiding from me.”
Judah hadn’t met Drake yet and didn’t know when he would, but his estimation of the man increased with Maegan’s story. “That was sweet of him.”
“He can be, but don’t let him know you know. He’ll deny it to his dying day.”
“My sisters would say the same about me. I wish I could see them tomorrow night, but the workshops for the conference don’t end until eleven, so Saturday will have to do. I’ll be happy for the time I do have with them.”
“That’s the spirit.”
A natural lull in conversation arose as they finished eating. They cleaned up together, and he loaded the dirty dishes into the dishwasher to run after she’d left.
“I should get going. You have an early morning tomorrow.”
“Not too early,” he said, hoping to buy a few more minutes with her, even as they walked to the front door. “Do you have any big plans for the weekend?’
“Mom asked if I wanted to help her plant seeds, so I’ll be in the greenhouse with her Saturday morning. I thought about going to jazz night still, but no one else is able to make it.” She ran her teeth over her bottom lip then opened her mouth like she wanted to say more but nothing came out.
“What is it?”
Her shoulders squirmed. “Saturday and Sunday will be weird is all. I’ve kind of gotten used to hanging out with you on the weekends.”
“Me too. Your friends probably think I’m monopolizing all your time.”
“Nah, they like you. Morgan already suggested a double date. Her husband works odd hours, so we’d have to work to find a good time, but you’d like Flynn.”
“I’m down for it.”
“When you’re back in town, we’ll figure out a time.”
Her hand reached for the doorknob, and an unexpected shock jabbed his heart at the thought of her leaving. He knew she had to, but he didn’t have to like it.
“Have you told anyone that we’re, you know, not actually dating?” What had possessed him to ask that question? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer, or what that answer could mean.
Her gaze darted to the floor, and her arms fell to her sides. “No. Have you?”
He shook his head. “I don’t see that it’s anyone’s business but ours.”
“Agreed.” She glanced at the door but didn’t grab the doorknob again, seemingly as reluctant to leave as he was for her to go.
Opening the door, he let her pass through first, then walked with Maegan to her car. “I’ll call you when I get to Charlotte.”
“Drive safely.”
“I will.” Before he could think too much into it, he bent his neck and kissed her forehead. He touched her arm softly, letting his fingers trail against the sleeve of her arm ever so briefly.
She looked up at him, questions burning in her eyes. The same questions he had, but fear held him back. Without another word, she got in her car, and he stepped aside so she could drive off, leaving him with a gaping hole of loneliness for the next few days.