14. Violet
CHAPTER 14
VIOLET
I ’m naked in my backseat, with an equally naked Jay beside me. I can’t believe we’ve done this again.
After we had sex in his empty bar on one of the back tables, I promised myself that even if he did give me a job, I wouldn’t end up naked with him again.
Yet, here I am.
I reach for my clothes on the ground, groping around in the darkness and trying to avoid eye contact with Jay.
But when I sit back up, I can feel him looking right at me. A quick glance says he isn’t staring at my naked body. He’s looking at my face, as if trying to read my thoughts.
I try to find some measure of dignity as I slide my underwear back up my legs one at a time.
“I don’t know what it is about you, but…”
“But what?” I ask, looking at Jay full in the face now that my panties are back in place.
“You… make me…”
He still won’t finish whatever he is trying to say. “Now you’re blaming this on me?” I ask, ready to pick a fight if that’s what he’s trying to do. “I’m not the one who insisted you walk me to my car.”
Jay laughs. He absentmindedly fists his cock, and I find my eyes drawn to the movement. It’s only after a long pause has gone by that I realize Jay is watching me stare at him.
I reach for my dress and focus on putting it on, and Jay finally seems to get the memo, grasping around for his own clothes. Somehow, I’m sitting on his boxers.
His fingers pry under my ass until I lift my hips and let him get what he was going for. With my dress back on properly, I turn sideways so that I can see Jay as much as possible in the thin light coming from the nearby streetlights.
“I was going to say you make me hard just by looking at me, but if you don’t want to take responsibility for that…”
I’m having trouble maintaining our eye contact after that comment. I look at the floor of my car where Jay’s shirt still rests in a heap. Maybe I should just tell him what’s been bothering me. “Hannah says we shouldn’t be together.”
Jay swears. “She talked to you too?”
“You mean you talked to her? You told her about us? Or… whatever happened between us?”
“She doesn’t know we had sex.” Jay shakes his head. “But she knows that you’re working for me, and… I think she suspects something else.”
I don’t know what to think of my best friend and her brother talking about a potential relationship between us.
“She told me that you don’t treat your girlfriends well, not that I’m calling myself your girlfriend.” I rush to add, “ Or that I even want to be your girlfriend. I’m just saying… she doesn’t… think that you and women mesh.”
“Well, I don’t mesh with men if that’s what she’s suggesting.” Jay pulls his tee shirt over his head. His jacket is somewhere on top of the car, and he seems so bare in the cold autumn night. Part of me wants to scoot over to him, to run my hands down his bare arms and warm them up.
“I don’t even want a relationship right now. I’m not looking for that sort of thing. Going through things with my mother, having a job so I can save up to move back out on my own, those are my goals,” I explain.
Jay nods, staring at the dashboard. “That makes sense. I mean, I don’t exactly have the time for date nights when I’m working at the bar every spare moment I have.”
Neither of us looks at the other, but I can feel his body heat from only a few feet away. “So clearly… we should just keep things professional,” I conclude even though I know that’s going to be a difficult task.
Even when I’m not alone with Jay, I’m admiring his arms as he makes a drink behind the bar or staring at his ass as he walks across the room. My mouth goes dry just at the memories of him spreading my legs and going down on me.
And now, as I think back on the new memories we’ve just formed, I feel like my body is telling my mouth to shut up. I’m just getting myself in more and more trouble.
“Yeah, sure,” Jay says. He shifts in his seat, and he still doesn’t make eye contact. “I think that’s probably smart, but…”
When I don’t say anything, he finishes his sentence.
“But would you be opposed to just sex, no strings attached?”
My heart leaps, and I’m not sure how to respond. I can’t respond, not right away.
I try to process Jay's proposition. I search his face for any signs of insincerity, but he’s not looking at me. He seems to be studying the brick wall that runs in front of my car. My emotions are a jumble of fear, excitement, and a strange sense of relief.
This is what I want, isn’t it? I don’t want the maintenance of having to keep a boyfriend happy, having to think of him before myself, dealing with the potential issues that Hannah brought up.
But at the same time, it’s going to be even harder to walk away from him this time than it was last time. Because each time I see him naked and run my fingers over every inch of bare skin, it gets harder to refuse him.
"Just sex, no strings attached?" I repeat, testing the words out. They don't taste as bitter as I expected. In fact, there's a hint of sweetness in the freedom of this proposition. No baggage. No relationship. Just sex, and with sex like Jay offers… my mind could be blown every day of the week and it wouldn’t be too much.
Jay nods, still avoiding direct eye contact. "Yeah, no expectations. Just... enjoying each other when we can."
I take a deep breath, weighing my options. The logical part of me warns against this, but another part—a louder, more insistent part—remembers the feel of his hands on my skin and the way he made me feel moments ago.
I finally agree. "Alright, I can do that. No strings attached."
Jay lets out a long breath, and I realize just now how cold the car really is. Before, when we were moving and touching and kissing, I couldn’t feel the cold. It’s starting to creep in under the edge of my dress now. I reach forward and fish the keys out of my coat pocket before starting the car and cranking up the heater.
As I thump back down on the seat next to Jay, he says, "Good. I think that's best for both of us. I mean, neither one of us is ready for a relationship, but that… what happens between us when…"
“When we’re naked?” I fill in with a smile.
“Yeah, that. It works.”
“It more than works,” I say, glancing down at his groin area. I already start to feel a new tingle between my legs, and if we continue to sit here like this, our clothes might come off again. I lean forward and reposition one of the heaters so that it’s blowing directly at me.
I swallow and glance at Jay to see that he’s finally looking at me. “I should probably head home,” I finally say, even though I don’t want this moment to end. “Do you… want me to drive you back to where you’re parked?”
Jay thinks for only a second before agreeing to my suggestion. I clumsily scramble over the center console into the front seat while Jay braves the cold and goes around, swiping his jacket off the roof of the car and entering the passenger side a moment later.
As I fumble with my seatbelt, I decide to bring up the fall festival. It’s something that’s been at the back of my mind since Hannah told me about it. I try to sound casual as I bring the subject up. "So, Hannah's been bugging me about the fall festival. She and Charlie are going, and she keeps insisting I come along. I was thinking... I don't want to be a third wheel."
Jay turns to look at me, but I keep my eyes on the rearview mirror, checking the empty parking lot just to make sure before backing up. "Are you asking me to go with you?"
I shrug. "Yeah, as friends. Friends with benefits, I guess. It would be nice to have someone there who... gets me."
A slow smile spreads across Jay's face. "Sure. I’ve managed to avoid it the last few years, so I guess I owe an appearance… as long as we find the time to… use those benefits afterward."
I smile out the front windshield at the empty street. "Just keep it low-key. Hannah doesn't need to know all the details. To her, we’re just friends."
Jay chuckles. "Agreed. She'd probably murder me if she found out.”
“Well, I can’t have your death on my hands, so we’ll keep quiet about it.” I stop just in front of The Rusty Oak, and Jay pauses with his hand on the door handle. It’s like he wants to say something, but what is there to say? “Thanks” sounds like I had sex with him as a favor, but it was just as much a selfish decision on my part as something I did for him.
“See you at work,” he finally says. He hops out without giving me the chance to reply. I watch him walk past the front door to where his car is parked, making sure he gets in okay. That rule isn’t just for women, you know.
Jay is one sexy man, and at least for now, I can put my hands on him whenever I want.