11. Samantha
SAMANTHA
Papa and Dante don’t come home, but I already know they’re out. Papa texted me after he left the airport.
I’m kind of pissed off, if I’m honest with myself. Seeing Dante laughing with Maria cracked something in me, and although I’m grateful that she’s married and he’s not interested, I know the kind of girls that go to these bars.
Mob groupies. Girls who want to bag a mobster, think it’s fun fucking a monster for a few nights.
God, what if Dante doesn’t come home?
It’s nearly two in the morning and I can’t sleep. I head downstairs in my pajamas, pacing around the room.
Lunch with Sofia and Reese was fun. Vaughn showed up and that was a little awkward, given that her father is likely trying to kill me, but I know she isn’t involved with that.
She tries to stay out of the life entirely. Which makes her dating Reese kind of dumb, since he aspires to be an enforcer one day, but that’s none of my business.
I didn’t talk about Dante. Part of me kind of wanted to keep it to myself, keep that memory close to my chest.
They know we’ve been sleeping together, of course, but they don’t know I’ve fallen for him. I don’t want to tell them because I can barely admit it to myself.
My phone starts to ring and I gasp, surprised. It’s so late. When I see Dante’s name on my phone I answer it right away.
“Dante?”
“Tesoro.”
His voice is rough and I’m terrified. “Are you alright? Where are you?”
“I’m…” He chugs out a laugh. “I’m fine. Just… stranded.” His words are slurred around the edges.
“Are you… drunk?”
“Blame your father.”
I snort out a laugh, relief washing over me. “Thank God, I was worried that you…” Slept with someone else. “...were hurt.”
“No, little one. I’m fine. But uh, I need a ride and Ricardo isn’t answering.”
“He’s asleep,” I say. “Stayed here with me since you two didn’t come home.” I’m already grabbing my keys from the kitchen.
“I tried to schedule a ride sharing service but I’m old and—”
I laugh again. “Shut up, Dante. I’m on my way.”
“I’m at this dive called the Dove.”
I wrinkle my nose. It’s a known mob bar, and I know it’s crawling with those groupies. “Where’s Papa?’
“Went home with a long-legged blonde.”
I snort. “Of course he did.”
This is the first time I’ve been able to leave the house by myself in what, weeks now?
Months?
But I’m not thinking about escaping. I just want to get to Dante. “I’ll be there soon.”
“Thank you, tesoro.”
I smile, loving it when he calls me that. God, I’m such a fool, with this huge crush on my father’s best friend.
I hang up and speed to the dive bar, looking around as I turn onto the street.
Dante is leaning up against the brick, watching for me. There’s not a woman hanging off his arm.
Thank Christ.
When I pull up he makes his way slowly to the car, and I can’t help but grin as I watch him brace himself on the open door before he gets in heavily. “Jesus, I thought you didn’t like tequila,” I say, wrinkling my nose as the scent fills the car.
“Your father fucking does,” he groans, turning to look at me with glassy blue eyes. He gives me a wide smile, reaching over to cup my face and kiss me.
I gasp.
He never does that in public like this, usually it’s at home or in a secluded parking garage. “Thank you for rescuing me,” he murmurs, and puts a hand on my thigh as I start to pull onto the highway.
I squeak, something about the intimacy making my heart race. We arrive at home and he lurches out of the car. “Hold on, big guy,” I drawl, hurrying to get out and walking over to steady him.
“Remind me tomorrow that I hate your father,” he mumbles. “The two of you and your penchant for tequila is going to be the death of me.”
I chuckle and get under his arm, leading him in the house and up the stairs, kicking the door shut behind me.
I get him in his room and he plops down heavily on the bed, the box springs groaning. I start to unlace his boots.
“You’re too good to me.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I look at him curiously. “Are you sure you’re okay? I’ve literally never seen you drunk.”
He waves a hand. “Told you, your father brings it out in me.”
I snicker. “I’m going to have to thank him. You’re a sweet drunk.”
“Am I?” He tries to sit up, fails, and groans as he plops back down. “C’mere, tesoro.”
I bite my lip.
Papa will be out all night, so as long as I leave early in the morning…. I put my purse down on the nightstand and crawl into bed with him.
Dante sighs happily, pulling me close to his chest and kissing all over my face. I giggle, loving the affection and attention.
“I should get you drunk more often.”
“Not tequila,” he pleads. “The room is spinning.”
“Just close your eyes.”
“Don’t want to,” he says, pouting slightly. “Wanna see you.”
God. He looks so boyish like this, so… vulnerable. Open in a way he never is.
“You can see me in the morning.”
“I’ll be hungover,” he complains.
“Yeah, you will. You see me all the time, though.”
“Not like this. Not since Elio got back.” His fingers trace my curves, up my hip and the line of my waist, marking me shiver. Goosebumps pop up along my skin.
I look at him, biting my lip, and wonder how far I can push him when he’s like this.
He just stares back at me, his blue eyes still so bright despite how glassy they are. “I don’t know if I should stay tonight.”
His hand tightens on my hip, not quite bruising, but it still makes me draw in a sharp breath. “Too bad. You’re not going anywhere.”
I laugh but he keeps staring at me with a blank expression, his hand not moving from my hip. I try to wiggle out of his grasp, but to no avail. He’s too strong.
“What if—”
“Elio will be out all night. Trust me,” he drawls.
I wrinkle my nose. “Ew. I don’t want to think about my dad getting laid.”
He barks out a laugh. “How else do you think you were made?”
“Still!” I smack at his chest and he catches my wrist in his hand. He slowly brings my hand to his mouth, kissing along my knuckles. It makes my heart skip several beats. “You’re being so…” I trail off, unsure how to continue.
“So what?” he murmurs, taking my hand and rubbing it against his face. His five o’clock shadow feels prickly on my palm.
“Different.”
It’s all I can manage. I’m gobsmacked by how he’s acting, how open and loose he is with his affection when normally I have to fight for it.
“Fucking tequila. Makes me honest,” he admits.
I draw in a sharp breath. “Honest?”
“Yeah.”
“So that means, what? I can ask you anything and you’ll give me a straight answer?”
He tightens his jaw but nods, his eyes traveling over my face like he’s looking at something precious. My heart might explode, actually. “You get three questions.”
“Do you like me?” The words come out in a rush before I think too hard about it.
He snorts. “That’s a stupid fucking question.”
I pout. “Yeah, well, I want an answer.”
“Yes,” he says flatly. A thrill rushes through me and I grin.
“Really?”
“Yes. That’s two questions.”
I frown. “Hey, that’s not fair!”
He shrugs lazily. “Those are the rules.”
I think about it for a moment. There’s really only one thing I want to know, isn’t there?
“Is this—this thing between us—just physical for you?”
“Fuck,” he curses, shifting on the bed to lie on his back even though his arm stays around me. He throws his other forearm over his eyes.
“Dante? You said you’d answer.”
He doesn’t move his arm. Won’t look at me. “No. I’m fucking smitten by you, tesoro. Don’t you know that already?”
Smitten.
A grin spreads across my face, my heart seeming to swell in my chest. I cuddle up close to him and put my head on his chest. His heartbeat seems fast. He tightens his arm around me, placing his palm back on the dip of my waist.
“Then why do you avoid me?”
“That’s four questions.”
“Oh come on, you totally cheated me out of one of them.”
He moves his arm from his eyes and looks at me, then looks away. “You’re asking the wrong questions, little one.”
“Then tell me what to ask.”
“That’s not how this works.”
I let out a long breath and Dante sighs heavily. “You know why avoid you. I avoid you because I’m smitten by you.”
“I guess that makes sense,” I say slowly.
“How about you?” he asks, glancing at me but not holding my gaze.
“How about me what?”
“Are you smitten?”
My heart jumps into my throat. I could tell him. Tell him that I’m terrified that I’m falling for him, that I wish our circumstances were different.
“I didn’t get any tequila,” I say instead, and Dante laughs, loud and open, looking so much like the boy he must have once been that it makes my heart skip.
I keep my head on his chest as his heartbeat begins to slow, his breathing starting to even. I’ve never felt more awake in my whole fucking life.
When I slip out of his arms as daylight comes through the windows, he whines a little in his sleep, reaching out for nothing.
My heart stutters but I make it back to my room before Papa comes in.
I’m still not tired.
My thoughts have been chasing me all night, and now they’re crashing down around me.
What if things could be different? What if Papa could eventually accept a relationship between me and Dante?
It’s not like I’ve ever asked him about it.
But Papa has mentioned several times that I’m near marrying age.
It’s like he wants me to settle down. I’ve always had a wild streak, ever since I was a teenager. He says I get it from him.
I pace around my room until headlights splash across my window.
Papa.
I take in a deep breath and hurry downstairs.
He blinks at me when I meet him at the door.
“What are you doing up so early, cara mia?” His words aren’t slurred, his eyes relatively clear even though he’s frowning.
“Hungover?” I ask him, not answering his question.
He groans. “Beyond all reason, yes. Blame Dante.”
I snort. “He said to blame you.”
“He’s a fucking liar,” he says, but he’s smiling. “I guess he got home all right?”
I nod. “He did.”
“Good. Felt like kind of an asshole for ditching him.”
“Heard you met a blonde.”
“She was a lovely lady,” he says with a sly grin, and that’s all Papa ever says about his conquests.
He’s not exactly a womanizer, but he gets around enough. Took him a few years to get back in the game after Mama passed.
I smile. “I’m glad you had fun.” I hesitate and bite my lip. “Are you busy?”
He snorts. “Please. I’m not getting anything done today. What’s up, sweetheart?” He looks at me, concern evident on his face.
“Nothing,” I say quickly. “Just… missed you while you were out of town. Thought we could catch up over breakfast.”
He smiles. “I don’t know if I’ll be the best company with this hangover, but of course you can eat with me.” He takes my hand and we walk into the dining room, where Papa’s huge breakfast buffet is spread out across the table.
Maria doesn’t spare any expense when it comes to breakfast, since it’s Papa’s favorite meal.
“You’re a miracle worker, Maria!” Papa calls into the kitchen. She doesn’t respond, used to his antics.
Papa sits at the head of the table and I sit next to him, making myself a plate but just pushing it around instead of eating.
Papa digs in like he’s starving. “Out with it, cara mia.”
“I’m getting older,” I say slowly.
He raises an eyebrow, smirking. “Oh? Is twenty-five over the hill these days?”
I chuckle nervously. “Nothing like that. I’ve just been thinking that maybe… maybe it’s time to settle down.”
“You? Settle down?” He leans back in his chair. “I can’t believe it.”
I groan. “I’m serious, Papa. What if I met someone?”
“Like a boyfriend?”
“Sure.”
His face goes blank. “Who is he?”
I huff out a breath. “Nobody! This is hypothetical. Like, if I were to meet someone and get serious with them, how would you feel?”
“You’re trying to tell me you don’t have someone in mind?”
“Let’s just say it’s someone you know. Someone you like.”
“I don’t like any of your friends,” he says, deadpan, and I can’t help but chuckle.
“Like I said, Papa. Hypothetical.”
He looks at me for a long moment, then his shoulders relax and he sighs. “It’s hard for me to say without knowing who it is, but if it was someone who was good to you… someone who protected you, who respected me…” he trails off.
Dante’s good to me.
He protects me.
He respects Papa.
Check. “So you wouldn’t be angry or overprotective?”
“Not angry.”
I pout. “But overprotective?”
“Maybe a little.” He lets out a breath. “There has to be a reason that you’re asking me this when my blood is half tequila. What’s going on?”
I raise my hands in defense. “Nothing. I swear. I’ve just been thinking about settling down, like I said.”
His gaze is shrewd as he searches my face, and I fight to keep it as blank as possible.
Then he nods and I let myself relax. “Alright, cara mia. If you find someone you love, I won’t stand in your way.”
I grin and throw my arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you, Papa.”
He smiles as I kiss his cheek. “You should get some rest,” I tell him. He has bags under his eyes from not sleeping the night before.
He nods, groaning as he gets up. “I’m too old for all nighters.”
I chuckle. “I’ll make sure you’re not disturbed.”
He nods and exits the dining room, and I let out the biggest sigh of relief. I can’t wait to tell Dante.
Maybe we can go public.
Maybe things aren’t as doomed as I think.
Maybe I can love him out loud instead of denying it even to myself.