13. Samantha
SAMANTHA
Papa nearly discovering us spooks Dante something fierce. I don’t see him for days, and I can’t help feeling bitterly disappointed.
I’d thought things were ramping up, that soon we’d maybe be more than just physical.
He’d been so open and vulnerable with me, but maybe that was just the tequila talking.
Smitten.
I can’t stop thinking about it. How he touched my face, held me in his lap. My heart had bloomed like a blossom under the sun and now…
Now it’s like it’s all in darkness.
So I do what I do best—I push.
I touch his hand under the dinner table, his thigh. He always jerks away. I try to corner him in the hallway, but he just physically moves me out of the way with his hands briefly on my waist.
My heart speeds up just from the simple touch. I’m starved for it. Starved for him.
God, I’m absolutely crazy about him. And I hate myself for it.
Not because he’s Papa’s best friend. Not because he’s nearly twenty years my senior.
Because I’ve never felt this before. Not for any man.
Papa goes out more. I suspect he’s seeing the blonde that Dante mentioned, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.
Mama’s been gone for years.
I can’t expect him to never move on. But I just… I still miss her so badly. I can’t imagine anyone ever taking her place.
I need Dante more than ever, and he’s just not there. Even when he is here, he’s standoffish, answering my questions with one word answers.
Three days after Dante’s hangover, I come down to find Dante sitting by himself at the dining room table for dinner. “Where’s Papa?” I ask hesitantly.
He grunts. “Out.”
I want to roll my eyes. Great. One word. “Thinking of going out myself.”
He hates it when I go out. Maybe it’ll spur some kind of reaction. His face doesn’t change. He doesn’t even look at me. “Ricardo will go with you.”
“Why Ricardo? You busy?”
He doesn’t respond.
I slowly sit down next to him, making my own plate, my shoulders stiff as anxiety rushes through me. “Dante…” I say finally, my shoulders slumping. “You don’t get to tell me you’re smitten and then act like I don’t exist.”
“I was drunk,” he responds in a bark, but he doesn’t look up from his lamb chops.
I push my food around on my plate, taking a tiny bite of mashed potatoes. “In vino veritas.”
He goes silent, stiff. “Yeah, well. It doesn’t matter, does it?”
“Of course it matters.”
He sighs and puts his fork down, chewing and swallowing before leaning back against his chair. “Samantha…”
Not little one. Not tesoro. Just my name.
I feel like there’s a rock in my throat. I can barely swallow around it. “Papa’s always out with that blonde, and you’re always gone, and I’ve been all alone for days.” My voice comes out whinier than I want it to.
“Ricardo’s here.”
“Ricardo’s weird,” I say flatly, hoping to make him laugh.
He doesn’t even crack a smile. Dante finishes his plate and stands, picking it up and taking it to the kitchen without another word.
My chest hurts when I hear him laugh, the sound of water running. What’s he doing? Helping Maria with the dishes?
I huff out a breath and look down at my plate, pushing it away before getting up and hurrying upstairs, tears burning at the backs of my eyes. I have to get out of here.
Distract myself. Stop thinking about Dante.
I call Sofia first, but I don’t get an answer. She’s probably holed up somewhere with Dmitri. Wiping at the tears that have slipped down my cheeks, I call Reese instead.
He answers on the second ring.
“Please tell me you want to go out.”
“Yes,” I breathe. “Badly.”
“Thank God,” he groans. “I haven’t been able to get ahold of Sofia.”
I frown.
Usually when Reese is desperate to go out, he’s celebrating or he’s on the outs with Vaughn. And it doesn’t sound like he’s celebrating.
“What’s going on with you and Vaughn?”
He goes silent. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Oh…kay,” I say slowly. That’s not like Reese.
He talks about any and everything, even if it is something emotionally vulnerable.
He’s always worn his heart on his sleeve, and he’s been mad about Vaughn Ricci since high school. “Where are we going?”
“There’s this place called the Dove.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Heard it’s a dive.”
“It is,” he agrees. “But I don’t want to be around a big crowd tonight. I just want to get drunk.”
“And maybe after a couple you’ll tell me what’s going on?”
“Maybe,” he hedges.
“Alright, I’ll get Ricardo to drive us. We’ll pick you up in say, an hour.”
“I'll be ready.” He pauses. “Wait, Ricardo? What about Dante?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say flatly, and he barks out a laugh.
“Seems like we’re in the same boat.”
“I’ll see you soon, gotta get ready.”
I hang up and get dressed in a black club dress with a plunging neckline and a slit up one side.
I put on some smoky makeup and curl my hair, and I’m ready. I walk downstairs.
Dante looks up from his paperback he’s been reading on the couch.
I expect his eyes to trail over my body, but they don’t, staying focused on my face. I try not to even look at him, or I’ll start crying again.
“Where’s Ricardo?”
“Waiting at the car. I told him to get ready to take you.”
“Thank you,” I say. It sounds awkward and stilted.
He nods, turning back to his book.
I want to call his name, get him to actually look at me. The only reason I picked this dress was because I was hoping that he’d see me in it and maybe… I don’t know.
React somehow.
Get angry, tell me it’s too revealing. Push me up against a wall by my throat, tell me I’m his again.
I just want him to see me.
Tears threaten again and I hurry out of the house, slamming the door behind me. Ricardo gives me an awkward wave and I feel kind of bad that I dislike him so much.
He’s not a bad guy, he just gives me a weird feeling. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because he’s balding and not hot like Dante is. Maybe I’m shallow.
But at least Ricardo keeps his mouth shut while he drives me over to Reese’s.
Reese slides into the backseat, already smelling faintly of vodka. “You ass, you pregamed without me,” I tease, and he offers me a half-smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Needed it,” he admits, and I frown, climbing into the backseat with him as Ricardo backs out of Reese’s apartment complex.
I take his hand. “What’s going on?”
Reese draws in a shaky breath. “She broke it off.”
“What?” I screech.
He nods. “Said it was too hard, that she couldn’t keep lying to her father. Sneaking around. I told her we could go public but… She says Luciano will kill me.”
I wince. Luciano Ricci would kill Reese for dating his daughter.
Reese isn’t Italian, for one thing, and for another, his association with my family makes him an even worse candidate.
“Maybe she’s right,” I say softly, and Reese sighs, his lip trembling slightly before he wipes a hand across his face.
“Maybe she is. You gonna tell me what’s going on with you?” He pointedly doesn’t say Dante’s name, glancing at Ricardo.
“Maybe later. After I’m drunk.”
He chuckles. “Fair enough.”
We arrive and Ricardo leans against the wall near the entrance, scrolling through his phone.
He never watches me as closely as Dante, and that’s a good thing, at least tonight.
I don’t want him overhearing or stopping me from drinking too much.
Reese and I order a shot and two beers.
I clink the shot glass with his and shoot mine back, grimacing as it burns down my throat.
It takes another two shots and one more beer before Reese and I head to a back table with two long island iced teas. We aren’t trying to waste time getting buzzed.
I already feel looser, my head lighter on my shoulders. I hate that Reese is hurting but at the same time, it’s nice to have someone that understands.
“So spill,” he says, words slightly slurred around the edges.
I glance over at Ricardo. He’s staring into space like usual, barely paying attention. “We almost got caught.”
Reese’s green eyes widen. “What? By Elio?”
I nod. “Yeah, I was in his room, straddling him, and Papa knocked on the door.”
“Shit. What did you do?”
I snort. “I had to crawl under the bed. It was fucking humiliating.”
Reese laughs and I smack him. “Sorry, but you have to admit, it’s funny. Once I had to jump off a balcony to avoid one of Luciano’s men. Nearly broke my fucking ankle.”
I sigh heavily. “I just wish… I wish things were different.”
“Me too,” Reese says glumly, sipping his drink. “He’s going to marry her off to some asshole for an alliance and I’ll just be… here, drowning my sorrows.”
“He’s going to what now?” I ask, flabbergasted.
Reese drags a hand across his face again. “He’s been talking about making more alliances. He’s talked to Vaughn about how she can ‘help.’ She hasn’t said so, but I know he’s going to force a marriage on her.”
“You can’t think that way, Reese, or your liver will be pickled inside a week.”
He groans. “I know. After tonight I’ll lock in, I just… I need this.” Reese reaches across the table and takes my hands in his. “I really appreciate you coming out, Sammy. It means a lot to me that you’re always here for me even when I do stupid shit.”
“You’re drunk,” I say with a grin.
“So are you.”
“Not yet. I appreciate you too, Reese, you big sap.” I look around the Dove. It is indeed, a dive, but there’s a lot of mobsters here. Women, too, mostly the ones that want to bag a monster.
“Maybe we just need to move on.”
I look at him and nod. “You’re right. Maybe we do. They say the way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”
Reese gets up, holding out a hand to me and abandoning his half-empty glass.
“Let’s dance and try and forget about it, for now.”
I smile and take his hand, letting him tug me up and giggling when he does a little turn, swirling me around in a circle.
We dance for what seems like hours and I’m sweaty, my makeup smeared, by the time I head to the bathroom.
My head is spinning after our last shot, taken in between sets from the live band.
But I do feel a little better.
When I walk back out into the bar, I can’t find Ricardo. He’s just…gone. I frown, checking my phone. He’s sent me a text.
Something came up. Dante will be picking you up. Be ready in an hour.
I huff out a breath. Great. This is another reason I don’t like Ricardo. He’s unreliable.
Which of course, I don’t complain about, because usually I want to stay out longer anyway and have my friends drive me home. But tonight Reese and I are both wasted.
My only option is calling Dante.
I walk up to Reese and take his hand, ushering him outside into the alley. He breathes out a long breath into the night air. “Fuck, I’m drunk.”
“Me too,” I admit, bracing myself against the alley wall. “But I’ve got bad news. Ricardo ditched us.”
“Again?” His eyes widen. “Fuck. And Sofia hasn’t been answering her phone in days.”
I sigh. “I’ll have to call Dante.”
Reese winces. “He fucking hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you,” I lie. Dante definitely hates both Sofia and Reese, he’s always telling me they’re bad influences. Little does he know I’m the bad influence.
Reese raises an eyebrow but doesn’t protest when I pull my phone out of my purse. Dante answers after the third ring.
“What?”
Oh good. He’s in a great mood, it seems. I draw in a sharp breath. “Ricardo had something to take care of. Need you to come pick us up.”
“Us? Who are you with?”
I bite my lip. “Reese.”
He goes silent.
“Ricardo told me he had to leave. I’m on my way. Just stay put, I’m not chasing you around town.”
I don’t even respond, anger rushing through me at his tone. I hang up the phone and turn to Reese. “He’s coming, but he’s in a mood.”
Reese snorts. “He’s always in a fucking mood.”
I can’t argue with that. He’s never been particularly nice to Reese. He seems to hate him more than Sofia for some reason.
I lean against Reese as we wait for Dante and he puts his arms around me.
It’s comfortable, the heat of him nice against my back.
Sometimes I wish Reese and I had literally any chemistry other than friends.
He’s a good guy, even if he’s a bit unhinged, and our personalities mesh well.
But we tried to date in high school while he was on a break with Vaughn and it was… terrible.
Our first and only kiss felt like being kissed by my older brother.
It was just weird. We’re better off friends, and we’re both happier that way.
Dante’s sedan pulls up and he lets down the window, glaring at me, his eyes sharp.
“Get in. Now.” His voice is low and commanding, and usually would turn me on, but it just makes me angrier.
I huff and Reese and I climb into the backseat. Dante’s jaw tightens as he looks in the rearview mirror.
Reese is completely silent. He’s terrified of Dante, and I can’t blame him. I don’t say a word as Dante backs out.
I’m done with his shit, at least for tonight.