15. Samantha
SAMANTHA
Weeks pass, and Dante and I don’t get a moment alone. Papa’s home all the time.
There’s something going on, but he won’t tell me what it is. It must be work related, though, because Dante’s on edge, too. He watches me all the time, those blue eyes piercing right through me.
And in close quarters, things start to get muddled.
Reese is still moping about Vaughn, but he’s being emotionally healthy and not self-destructive anymore, and Sofia’s been barely responding.
She and Dmitri are either on the rocks or together somewhere, hiding from their families.
Even though I’m slightly bitter, I hope it’s the latter. He’s really a sweet guy despite his Bratva upbringing, and she’s wild enough to bring him out of his shell. I like them together.
I liked Reese and Vaughn together, too, but…just like me and Dante, it’s not something that can last.
Around two months after Dante and I first slept together, I start to feel a little strange. Everything seems to set me off, and I chalk it up to not getting laid in weeks.
Even Dante irritates me to no end, and one day at breakfast, he’s chewing too loudly and he and Papa are chatting, and everything just seems too much.
The scraping of silverware on plates threatens to drive me crazy and I stand up suddenly, slamming my hands on the table.
“Can you two shut up for five seconds?”
Papa blinks at me. “Cara mia. What’s gotten into you? You don’t say things like that at the table.”
“I’m not a little kid anymore,” I snap.
Dante just stares at me, mouth open. “Don’t look at me like that,” I say irritably, and storm out of the kitchen and up the stairs, slamming the door to my room.
After about a half hour, I’ve calmed down considerably and I’m wondering what the hell is going on with me.
My stomach feels queasy and my head still feels strange, like I’m on the verge of a breakdown at all times. I feel unstable, body and mind, and I wonder if my relationship with Dante is taking its toll.
A knock sounds on my door. I’m sure it’s Papa, come to check on me. I open it slowly, but it’s Dante instead of Papa standing there. “Are you okay?” he asks quietly.
I nod, sighing. “Yeah, I’m fine, I just… I don’t know. Weird morning.”
“Seems like it.” He hums. “Do you have painkillers?”
“For what?” I ask, tilting my head in confusion.
“Your cycle,” he says, clearing his throat, his cheeks slightly flushed with embarrassment.
I gape at him for a long moment. My period. Yes, of course.
That’s probably why I’ve been so irrational except… I can’t remember the last time I had one.
Not last month, because I hadn’t sent Ricardo out to buy me any products. I always remember because he makes a big fuss about it, like it’s a big deal.
I can feel the blood draining from my face. “I do,” I say quickly. “I’ll be fine.”
He frowns. “If you need anything…”
I shake my head. “No, no, I’m good. Just need to lie down.”
He nods slowly, still searching my face. I try to keep my expression as blank as possible as panic claws up my throat. Dante walks away and I shut my door quietly before rushing to my phone.
I text the group chat with Sofia and Reese: I know you two are MIA but I need you both! 911 911
Reese texts back first: what’s going on?
A minute later, Sofia: I’m here.
I send back: I need you both here. Now.
A few minutes go by and I pace around the room, staring down at my phone and willing them to text back. I cannot do this alone. And God knows I can’t tell Dante or Papa. Not yet, anyway. Not until I know if there’s something to tell.
Finally after half an hour they both text back, almost at the same time: otw
I wait a while, collecting myself with calming breaths before I head out of my room and downstairs. Dante’s sitting on the couch, reading again. “My friends are coming over,” I say, and he frowns slightly, looking up at me.
“What friends?”
I huff out a breath, irritation sweeping over me again. I can’t seem to control my emotions. “Reese and Sofia. Who else?” He frowns deeper at my tone and I pause, breathe in deeply again through my nostrils. “We’re going to watch chick flicks and eat ice cream. I need this.”
His frown dissolves into a chuckle and he goes back to his paperback. “Alright, little one. But no trying to sneak out.”
“Cross my heart,” I say, honestly for once. Sofia or Reese can go and pick up the test for me so I won’t have to leave the house. He nods and I let out a breath of relief, hearing the gate buzz. I head to the intercom and press the button to let them in.
They pull up in Sofia’s red sportscar, which surprises me. I guess they’d decided to carpool.
Sofia hugs me immediately, sensing something’s wrong, her blue eyes kind. Reese stares at the floor, seeing Dante on the couch.
Tears burn at the backs of my eyes and I hurriedly usher them up to my room.
As soon as the door closes behind them, I look at both of them.
Reese meets my eyes and blinks. “Something’s wrong.”
“Yeah, no shit,” Sofia mutters, bumping him with her shoulder. He mock-yelps and rubs at it, and she rolls her eyes.
I already feel a little better, even though my brain feels like a hamster running on a wheel. All I can think about is the potential fetus growing inside me like a parasite.
“I think I’m pregnant,” I blurt out. Reese chokes on air, coughing and doubling over.
Sofia’s eyes nearly bug out of her head.
“What?” she screeches, and I clap a hand over her mouth.
“Not so loud!” I hiss.
“You’re… you’re serious?” Reese chokes out. “This isn’t some elaborate plan to get us all here together?”
“No, of course not!”
Sofia looks determined rather than panicked now. “We need tests.”
“Plural? How fertile is Dante, anyway?” Reese asks incredulously. I smack him and so does Sofia, right at the same time, on either shoulder. Reese groans but doesn’t fight back, his own expression panicked.
“You’re going to get the test,” Sofia says flatly, and Reese glares at her.
“Why me? I don’t even know what to get!”
Sofia reaches into her purse and presses a wad of cash into his hand. “Get five, all different brands.”
“And ice cream,” I pipe up. “Fudge mint.”
“This is like five hundred dollars,” Reese marvels, as if he hasn’t heard either of us.
“Keep the rest, I don’t care.” She waves at him dismissively. “Just go.”
He just stands there, gaping down at the money in his hand. “Reese!” I nearly yell. “Go!”
“Alright alright, don’t get your panties in a twist,” he mutters, looking slightly shell-shocked when he looks up at me. He walks right back out the door and Sofia closes it behind him before focusing on me.
“Come here,” is all she says, but I burst into tears. She pulls me close, patting the back of my hair. It’s nice, but it makes the tears flow more. “It’s going to be okay,” she assures me, and her voice sounds warm and earnest, like she really believes it.
“But what if it’s not, Sofia? What if I really am pregnant?”
She draws in a long breath. “Well, then we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”
I nod, sniffling.
“We should go downstairs to wait for Reese.”
“I can’t see Dante!” I exclaim.
Sofia sighs. “Honey, if we hide upstairs and Dante starts asking questions, Reese will crack in five seconds.”
She’s right. Dante scares Reese to no end. “Fuck. You’re right.” I’m starting to hyperventilate and Sofia grabs me by the shoulders, shaking me gently.
“You have to get it together, Sammy.”
I hitch in a breath, breathing in deeply through my nostrils like Dante taught me that night, breathing out slowly through my mouth.
After about half an hour, I’m no longer crying and I’m breathing normally.
Sofia loops her arm through mine and I lean against her as we walk downstairs. I hope against hope that Dante has gone up to his room, but he’s still on the couch, reading one of his beat-up paperbacks.
“Whatcha reading?” Sofia asks idly as we sit down on the opposite end of the sectional couch. Dante looks up, eyes widening slightly in surprise.
“A Western,” he answers.
I blink at him. “You like Westerns?”
He frowns. “Yeah. Why not?” He sounds almost defensive.
“Is Tombstone like your favorite movie?” Sofia says in a teasing lilt. Dante snorts out a laugh.
“Not exactly, but it’s up there.”
A mobster who’s into the wild west. Who would have thought? I swallow hard, trying to think of something to say, but luckily, Sofia keeps going. If she weren’t here I think I’d blurt it all out to him.
“Reese went to get us ice cream. You want any?”
Dante shakes his head. “No thanks. Don’t have much of a sweet tooth.”
The silence after that is deafening. I’m about to open my mouth and say something stupid when the intercom buzzes again. Reese is back. I hurry to the button, pressing it
and standing near the door.
“Why are you hovering near the door?” Dante asks, tilting his head curiously.
“I want my ice cream.” It’s the only thing I can think of, but it works, because Dante laughs.
Reese steps into the house and his eyes shoot to Dante’s. Thank God the bag he’s holding is opaque.
“You better have gotten fudge mint,” I mutter under my breath, looking in the bag. Sure enough there’s a half gallon of fudge mint ice cream nestled among multiple pregnancy tests.
“Let me take that to the kitchen,” Sofia says, and hurries to put the ice cream up.
As she walks into the kitchen, I see her take the ice cream out and stuff the tests into her big purse.
I let out a sigh of relief. She’s smart.
Thank God she answered my texts, because with just me and Reese, it’d be nothing but panic.
“Go help her,” I say to Reese, because he’s just staring at Dante wide-eyed. Reese exits as quickly as the roadrunner from those old cartoons and Dante looks at me, smiling slightly.
“Feeling better?”
“Much,” I lie. There’s knots in my stomach and I feel like I’m going to vomit.
Reese and Sofia come out of the kitchen. Sofia’s got two bowls of ice cream and Reese has one. He’s already eating his.
“Have fun,” Dante comments as we head back up the stairs. I make it to my room before I can breathe again.
Sofia pulls the bag out of her purse and hands it to me. “I hope you have to pee, because you have to take all of those.”
“I still don’t understand why there’s so many,” Reese mutters.
“Shut up, Reese. This is girl stuff.”
“Then why am I even here?” he whines.
“Because I need the extra moral support,” I say, frowning.
“Plus, you had to get the tests,” Sofia says. “We’re not leaving her alone until we know what our next step is.”
He nods, sitting down on the edge of the bed. I head into the bathroom and manage to take three of the tests before I run out of steam. That’ll be good enough. If all three are negative, then we’re good to go.
I take in a deep breath. “Are you just going to wait the five minutes in there?” Sofia calls through the door.
I walk out, shaking my head. “I put them on the toilet tank. I can’t just stand there and stare at them.”
Reese looks at his watch. “Four minutes.”
It might as well be four years, for how long it feels. We don’t talk. None of us.
Me and Sofia pace around while Reese sits on the bed, looking at his watch. After the four minutes is up, Reese’s watch beeps and I jump, startled by the noise.
“Moment of truth,” Sofia pipes up, and pushes me toward the bathroom door. I stumble, not wanting to go.
“Can’t one of you look?”
“I think you have to do this on your own,” Sofia says sagely.
I squeeze my eyes shut and open them again, taking in a deep breath. It’s going to be okay, I tell myself, and then I walk into the bathroom. I look down at the tests lined up on the tank.
All three of them read the same thing: positive.
My breath hitches in my chest and I just keep staring, as if willing them to change. I look at the instructions on the boxes over and over again, just to be sure I’m not missing something.
I slowly put the boxes down, walking back out into my room. Reese looks up from his phone. Sofia looks at me.
“Oh my God,” she breathes, reading it all over my face. She hugs me tightly and I just lay my head on her shoulder, trying to keep breathing normally.
“Maybe it’s a false positive?” Reese suggests.
Sofia shakes her head. “Those are exceedingly rare. And with that many tests…”
“I only took three.”
“Three is enough.” Sofia pulls away slightly to look at me. “This is really happening. Sammy. But we’re here for you. Right Reese?”
Reese’s eyes are as big as saucers, but he stands up and walks over to me.
They both hug me, and for a second I’m twelve years old again, being bullied by the neighborhood kids for wearing glasses.
I upgraded to contacts in high school and developed my curvy figure and the bullies changed their tune, but I never forgot how Reese and Sofia protected me.
“I love you both,” I say thickly, sniffling.
“We love you too,” Sofia says and Reese nods in agreement.
Soon enough, we’re all lounging on the bed, eating melted ice cream and watching chick flicks, which Reese complains loudly about until Sofia pushes him off the bed.
It makes me giggle wildly and I think both of them are afraid I’m hysterical, because they stare at me for a moment before laughing, too.
No matter what happens, at least I have my friends. I just don’t know if that’s going to be enough.
Because I think I want this baby.
And I’m going to have to tell Dante eventually.