Chapter 44
Forty-Four
Leo
I’m just pulling into the lot of Harper’s shop when my phone rings.
“Where the hell are you?” Luna snaps.
I frown at the screen. “Are you trying to get ahold of Aiden?”
“What? No.” Her tone is far sharper than I’ve ever heard. “I’m trying to get ahold of you, asshole. So where are you?”
Clearly motherhood has made her short-tempered.
“I’m pulling into the parking lot behind Harper’s kitchen,” I say, “and don’t worry, I’m prepared to grovel like a motherfucker.”
I woke this morning feeling like death, and it took a few hours, plenty of aspirin and coffee to be functional enough to get in my car.
I headed here…then realized I didn’t know what I wanted to say.
Or maybe it was actually that I knew what I wanted to say, but also that it wasn’t good enough.
I hurt her, kept things from her, and—
“You need to turn the fuck around—”
“What? No,” I say, snapping to attention. “I need to talk to her.”
“Then you need to get your ass to County General.”
It takes me a second to realize she’s talking about the fucking hospital.
Then all the air leaves my lungs and I process what she’s saying.
“Why is she at the hospital, Luns?”
Her voice goes gentle…and I’m going to puke.
“Take a breath, Leo. She’s okay.”
“Why the fuck is she at the hospital?!” I roar.
There’s the sound of static, of fumbling, and then Aiden’s voice comes on the line.
“I’m warning you to not talk to my wife like that,” he says quietly, albeit with deadly intent in each syllable.
“Now take a fucking breath and listen to what I’m saying.
Harper fell today. Luna was there and called an ambulance, but she hit her head pretty good and needed to go to County. ”
“The baby?” I rasp.
His pause is so long that I nearly crawl out of my skin.
Then he murmurs, “We don’t know yet. I followed the ambulance here. Luna rode with her and says she seemed mostly okay.”
Mostly okay.
I grind my teeth together, force myself to keep listening.
Even though I want to rip off the steering wheel and chuck it out the window.
Even though the panic I’m feeling right now is so great I can barely draw in a full breath.
“They just took her back. Luns and I are in the waiting room, but they said they’ll update us as soon as they know anything.”
“Right.” I drag in a breath. Release it slowly. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“I’ll call back if anything changes in the meantime.”
I nod—though he can’t see me—grind out a goodbye, and hang up.
“Fuck,” I whisper, dropping my head to the steering wheel, back to wanting to rip it off, back to wanting to scream and shout and punch something.
I wasn’t here.
I walked away.
You’re what’s the matter with me.
If anything has happened to the baby…
It’s on me.
Chucking my phone on the passenger’s seat, I whip the car around, pause for a heartbeat, and focus.
It won’t help to kill myself or someone else.
Won’t help to stay here and indulge in my rage and self-pity.
One more breath.
One more—
You’re what’s the matter with me.
One more moment to sit in all the fucking regrets.
Then I pull out of the parking lot.
I drive over to the hospital.
I meet Aiden and Luna in the waiting room.
And we wait for news.
And wait.
And fucking wait.