Chapter 37 Bree
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Whew. They did not make it easy on me. I didn’t deserve for them to. I’d betrayed them by keeping Clara away. I knew that, and I’d made up my mind to tell them everything. No better time than while they stood there gaping at me like they’d never seen a baby before.
My heart thought it was a great idea to beat in my throat, almost cutting off my air. I felt every pulse thrumming and pressed my fingertips to the hollow of my throat to try and push the lump down. “Yes. One of you is Clara’s father.”
They shifted toward each other, their body language somehow loosening but still tense enough to keep my pulse racing.
“I never planned on coming back. I didn’t want Clara to face the same judgment this place put on me.
She’s an innocent in all this, and I will do whatever it takes to protect her from feeling that kind of pain.
” I wouldn’t be able to save her from every pain, but it was my job not to put her in situations that I knew would hurt her.
“This town would destroy us.” I motioned at Clara, who waved her fist like she agreed with me.
“If they found out I was pregnant and didn’t know who might be the father, things would have been worse than they were.
After how we left things, it felt like the only way to protect my daughter. ”
“Our.” Ronan said it so quietly I only knew he’d said it because I watched their expressions so closely. His fisted hands relaxed. “Our daughter. She is all of ours. Not just the daughter of you and whichever of us contributed the sperm. No matter what, she is ours too.”
“He’s right.” Declan took a step toward me, not in a threatening way but a curious but cautious approach. His gaze locked on Clara, and he smiled so sweetly it stole my breath. “We want to be part of her life too.”
“Agreed.” Finn slapped Declan on the back.
“You don’t need to be afraid of what people think anymore.
We respected your decision to leave, and your desire for space, but the truth is, Clover Hill is not the same without you.
The pub is suffering. We are suffering.” He motioned at all three of them.
“We can’t let you leave again. Not knowing we have a daughter. ”
They couldn’t exactly kidnap me and make me live here forever, but I understood the point he was trying to make.
“We’ll protect you. And Clara.” Ronan’s gaze met mine, and I’d never seen so much determination as I did there. “We will never let what happened happen again. We will protect both of you from any unkind words, from any gossip. We failed you before. We will not do that again.”
I wanted to believe them. I wanted it so badly my entire body ached to fall forward into their arms and let them watch over us. Could I? Could I risk it?
Clara’s waving fists reminded me of our fighting spirit. I’d let this town take that from me. I’d let them turn me into a weak, sobbing mess. Nana Maeve would’ve thrown one of her dishtowels at me, told me to wipe my face and get back to work.
“We can’t move on without you, Bree.” Ronan stood in front of me.
I hadn’t seen him move. I’d been too wrapped up in my thoughts.
His closeness drew Clara’s attention, and she watched him with a wide grin.
Ronan pinched my chin between his thumb and forefinger and nudged my head up.
“Please don’t leave again. We cannot find happiness without you. ”
“Knowing you are the mother of our child only adds to that.” Declan rested a hand on my shoulder. “We want you to stay, Bree.”
Their strength and devotion weakened my defenses.
“It’s been difficult without you.” My throat ached from holding back my emotions.
“I wake up every morning with a hole in my chest, a raw feeling that never goes away. Loving Clara helps, but I never stopped missing you. I belong to you, and you to us, but I’m so scared. ”
“Of what?” Finn stroked my cheek with his knuckles. “Tell us what you fear, Bree.”
Oh god. I had to tell them. I’d put it all on the town, but a deeper fear gouged me with every breath.
I took in the sharp stench of the burnt wood and metal from the kitchen and rocked Clara side to side.
The movement helped ease the anxious knot growing tighter with every second.
“I’m scared of being with you. When I love, I love with all that I am.
It’s more than my heart that is invested.
It’s all of me. And every time I have loved anyone, they’ve been taken from me. ”
Realization dawned on their faces one by one.
I focused on Ronan. He–of the three of them–understood the depth of my anguish.
He cradled the top of Clara’s head in his hand, a slow, deep breath swelling in his chest. He let it out just as slowly, a blink covering his gray eyes.
When he raised his head to look into my eyes, tears shimmered on his lashes.
“There is no way to guarantee how long we will live, but I can promise you that we will love you with all that we are, every second of every day. All we’re asking for is a chance. ”
A chance. How many times had I wished for something to change? How many times had I wished for things to be different? They offered me exactly what I’d hoped for. All I had to do was be strong enough to reach out and take it.
Finn continued stroking my cheek, his voice a low timbre in my ear. “We’ll make things right. We will give you a safe place here if you’ll let us. Let us prove we can protect you. Let us love you. Cause we’re falling apart without you.”
For some, the weight of that might have crushed them.
For me, it was everything I needed to hear to let the tears fall and nod.
“I’d like that. And I’d really, really like to go upstairs and spend time with all of you.
” I let my voice carry my intentions, along with the way I trailed my free hand down Ronan’s chest.
He took the diaper bag from the table beside me and slung it over his shoulder. Declan locked the pub door and led the way up the stairs.
Finn stayed close behind me, his breath a constant touch on the back of my neck.
I stopped cold on the threshold when Declan opened the door. It looked exactly the same…minus the pots of flowers I’d left behind.
Clara snuffled and snuggled in, fast asleep.
I took her to the bedroom and laid her in the center of the bed, building a pillow barrier around her.
“Sleep, baby girl.” I pressed two fingers to my lips, then her forehead.
“Mama has some things to work out.” Like the desperate sexual frustration I’d lived with for months.
I pulled the door mostly shut and turned around.
All three of them stood in the middle of the living room, all three of them mine for the taking.
Nine months. I locked eyes with each of them and the full weight of the time we’d missed pressed behind my sternum.
I took a step toward them. “Hi.” It came out thin and reedy, and a tiny bit shy.
Finn met me halfway. “Hi, love.”
“Have I ever told you how much I love hearing you say that?”
He smirked. “You might have mentioned it.” He kissed me slow and deep, with the kind of anticipation that curled my toes.
Declan set his hands on my shoulders and kissed the back of my neck, right in that spot that made my brain turn to mush. I made a sound against Finn’s mouth.
“We missed you.” Ronan joined us, his rough hands gentle on my arms when he began unbuttoning my shirt.
I turned when Finn released my lips and kissed Ronan. He immediately reached up to cup my face in his hands the way he always did. He held me with a kind of gentle possessiveness that promised he’d never let go if I asked him not to.
Declan wrapped his arms around me from behind and finished what Ronan started with my shirt. It whispered over my shoulders and fell to the floor.
Finn kissed my ear. “I’ve been going out of my mind.”
“Same.” I grabbed the band of his pants and tugged. “I’m not sure how much time we have.”
They understood. Sleeping babies were never predictable. Clara might sleep an hour, and she might wake up in fifteen minutes. I hated to rush our first time back together, but I needed them too much to risk a possible interruption.
Clothes came off in a flurry of hands and shaking of feet. Soon enough, we all stood naked in the middle of the living room. I groaned at the sight of all three of them, cocks thick and proud and my entire body going hot and tight with need. “Inside me. Now.”
That was all the instruction they needed to lead me to the couch.
Finn eased me onto the couch with a lingering kiss.
Despite my demands, they took their time with me, tasting and touching.
Fingers stroked every line of my body until I gasped and shuddered with every breath.
I gave myself over to them in a way I never had before.
I loved them from the beginning, but today I stopped waiting for the end and lived in the full moment. There was no end.
We were together. Now and forever. No matter what came our way, I would not run again.
Ronan settled between my legs, his cock nudging my entrance.
He swept my hair back from my face and braced his weight on one arm, reaching between us to press his thumb to my clit as he entered me.
Every delicious inch of him filled me, the familiar stretch and burn almost pushing me over the edge before he even moved.
And when he did, when he withdrew and plunged in deeper and just hard enough to make me gasp, I didn’t bother holding back or waiting.
I locked my legs around his waist and bucked my hips to meet him. “I missed you so much. Not just this, even though this is incredible. I missed seeing you. Touching you. I missed the way you smile at me.”
His lips quirked, and a shudder ran down his spine when I dug my nails into his ass and drove him deeper.
“Just like that.” I gave myself over to the sensations rippling through my body. The orgasm built slow, in a series of tingles and gasps.
“So beautiful.” Finn kissed along the side of my neck and cupped my breast. “Enjoy your time with Ronan, love. We’re all going to take our turn with you today.”
My eyes shuttered closed as the sensations threatened to overwhelm me. Ronan deepened his thrusts, bottoming out every single time. His groan matched mine, and we fell over the edge together.