Chapter Ten
Felix
April: Two Months Ago
By the time Friday night rolled around, I was so anxious for our date—the one Bennett refused to tell me anything about—that I stood in front of my closet, helplessly staring at my clothes.
I wanted to dress in a way that made Bennett fall to his knees for me, which was probably ridiculous because I was getting the sense that he’d be willing to do that no matter what I showed up in.
I huffed out a breath and pulled my phone out of my pocket.
Me: Can I at least get a hint about what to wear tonight?
Bennett: Clothes. Though, I could make naked work if that’s what you prefer. I’ll grab some extra blankets.
Me: That is not helpful. I want to look good for you.
Bennett: You always look good.
Me: You know how I let you be overly protective of me?
Bennett: You scowled at me when I insisted on staying to walk you to your car last night.
Me: You fell asleep at the bar! You needed to go home and rest, not worry about me.
Bennett: I needed to make sure you were safe more than I needed rest.
Me: Debatable. But the point is, your instincts are to protect. Mine are to please you. Help me please you, alpha.
Bennett: Fuck, call me that again. I’m already very pleased. Let me just get my dick out first.
I snorted a laugh and shook my head, falling backward onto my bed with a thunk.
Me: Please tell me what to wear to please you, alpha. Then I’ll take care of your erection for you when you get here.
Bennett: This erection?
An image of Bennett’s hand wrapped around his dick popped up on the screen, and I whined as my own cock stiffened behind my boxer briefs. I took a picture of my bulge and sent it to him.
Me: Look what you’ve done. You’re picking me up in an hour, I’m still not dressed, and now I’m hard. I will not be ready for this date on time, and I’m pretty sure it’s all your fault.
Bennett: You look ready to me.
Me: Are you going to help me or not?
Bennett: Help you rub one out before the date? Sure, we can video call.
I laughed, considering the idea momentarily.
Me: I’d rather fuck your fist than mine.
Bennett: Done. Be right there.
Me: Ha. Ha. Will you please help me with my wardrobe dilemma?
Bennett: Only because the thought of you in distress causes me physical pain.
Me: Did you put your dick away yet?
Bennett: Don’t worry about what my dick and I are doing to prepare for this date. Wear jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. Nothing fancy. I want you to be comfortable and warm, and I’m certain I’ll think you look amazing.
Me: Thank you. I’ll see you soon.
Bennett: Can’t wait.
An hour later, a knock sounded at my door. I tugged on a beige sweater and opened the door to find a beaming Bennett. “You look fucking fantastic,” he said, stepping in and wrapping an arm around my waist. “Can I kiss you?”
I chuckled and wrapped my arms around his neck. “You can kiss me hello whenever you want to.”
His lips were still curved upward in a smile as they pressed against mine, and I kissed him back softly.
“You’re saying that I could have been kissing you at the bar the last two days?” Bennett asked.
“Yep,” I said, popping the P. “Probably should have asked sooner.”
“Son of a bitch,” he muttered, giving me another quick kiss. “I will not fuck that up again.” He kissed me again, longer this time. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yes,” I said, walking him backward and out the front door as I continued to kiss him, swiping my tongue into his mouth and moaning in pleasure.
Bennett chuckled against my lips. “If I wasn’t so intent on making you fall in love with me, I’d suggest we just stay in.”
“I could easily fall in love with your dick, alpha,” I said, deflecting from the way Bennett made me feel.
The truth was, I wasn’t sure what I’d do if I fell in love.
I thought I’d loved Ryder once, and I’d been wrong about that—at least about the type of love we’d experienced.
It was more like an addicts’ codependence than anything real.
Will I ever really be able to trust myself to know what love is?
Bennett seemed like the kind of guy who would be sure of himself and his feelings.
He didn’t need my complicated self-doubt, and we’d never be able to bond as long as I was still attached to Ryder.
An alpha like Bennett deserved a bond with his omega, one where he could sense them and their needs and take care of them the way he clearly wanted to.
Fuck, he would be such a good alpha. Especially during my heat.
A waft of pine filled the air, pulling me from my musings about the future, and I looked up to see Bennett gazing down at me. He stroked my cheek. “I can feel when you start worrying. It’s like the air around you becomes cloudy and your scent changes. I can feel your anxiety.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Is that normal for you?”
He chuckled and stepped to my right side, intertwining our fingers. “No. It seems to be unique to you.”
“Interesting,” I said, mulling that over as we walked to his truck.
I thought alphas could only feel that strongly when they were bonded. Maybe they can feel more than I realized.
Bennett opened the passenger side door and offered me a hand to help me climb in.
“I’m only two inches shorter than you,” I said, glowering at his almost six-foot frame.
“You’re my date and I’m being chivalrous. Just shut up and enjoy being taken care of.” He leaned in and kissed me softly, nibbling on my bottom lip. “You’re a terrible omega, aren’t you?”
“No, I’m very whiney and needy in heat. Just wait until you see me begging for your knot and you’ll forget all about my moments of independence,” I said, schooling my face as it dawned on me that I’d just implied he would be around for such an intimate experience.
He smiled softly at me and closed the door without saying anything.
Way to go. Now you’re going to scare off a man who already seems obsessed with you. That’s not easy to do, Felix. Good work.
He got in and started the truck, driving toward our date location without a word. The silence was like a black hole that was deeper than the dark of the night surrounding us. I tapped my fingers on my thighs.
Should I say something? Take it back? Tell him we can revisit the matter during my next heat, which is still months away. Just ignore it? I mean, I’m also pretty needy for love and affection in general since my mother was a total narcissist who rarely bestowed any. I could start with that.
Bennett’s hand covered my knee and he squeezed. “Come here.”
He lifted his arm for me, and I slid across the bench seat. He shrugged his shoulder, urging my face toward the scent gland at his neck. I breathed him in, the deep, rich smell of pine trees bringing back memories of Christmas morning, and I relaxed into him.
“I’m afraid I scared you off by talking about my heat,” I mumbled against his skin.
“Not at all.” Bennett kissed the top of my head. “I’m hoping you’ll invite me to join you when it’s time because the brief flash I had in my head of someone else helping you through your heat made me want to punch the side of my truck.”
I looked up at him. “That’s why you’ve been so quiet?”
“I was getting my head on straight so that I didn’t demand that you invite me to take care of you during your heat when we’re literally on our way to our first date.”
I laughed and sat up away from him. “That would have been such a possessive fucker move.”
“Why do you think I’m trying so hard to keep it together?”
I nuzzled into his neck again, scent marking him.
“Mmm.” His chest rumbled, a sound close to a purr, so I picked up his wrist and marked that gland too.
Bennett turned onto a dirt road that I recognized. “Are we going to Mirror Lake Beach?” I asked.
He nodded.
“It’s barely April and there’s a lot of snow this year. Won’t it still be closed?”
“Have you ever seen the sand covered in snow and the top layer of the lake frozen before?”
“No, because that sounds cold and like the opposite of the reason why people go to lakes.”
“It’s beautiful,” Bennett said, pulling into the entrance of the state-run park.
“How are you going to get in?” I asked, baffled. The lake closed to visitors in the fall and didn’t reopen until at least May.
Bennett parked the truck at the gate next to the admissions booth before climbing out to unlock the booth and raise the barricade.
He slid back into the truck just enough to drive it forward to the other side of the barricade, half his body hanging out the open door, and then went back to the booth, lowered the barricade, and closed it up.
“I realize my history as a drug user who was involved with another drug user might have given you the impression that I’m open to criminal behavior, but we’re going to have to talk about that, because I am not,” I said, watching Bennett warily as he bypassed the parking area and drove right onto the beach, backing into the sand so the truck bed faced the lake, and turned off the truck.
He turned to face me. “Ally’s mate, Wyatt, is my best friend. Pays to be friends with the sheriff. He gave me the keys and told me to have fun.”
“Okay, great, so this is just small-town police corruption?” I asked. “I can handle that, I think.”
Bennett opened his door and took my hand so I could slide out behind him.
I did, and he walked us around to the back of his truck.
He pulled the cover off the truck bed, and my heart skipped a beat as I saw the blankets and pillows he’d arranged.
The edges of the bed were lined with pillows, the bottom was covered with two sleeping bags, and there were soft, fluffy blankets on top of everything.
He pulled out a duffel bag and started unloading a laptop and a projector.
“Figure out what we’re doing yet?” he asked.
“Are we watching a movie under the stars?” I asked, amazed at all the trouble he must have gone through to arrange this.
“Yes. Wi-fi out here is pretty bad so I downloaded a few options.” He tossed the laptop on top of the blankets. “Climb in and take a look.”
“What, no proffered hand?” I smiled coyly at him.