Chapter Twenty-Two
Felix
June: Two Days Ago
“Come on, Ryder. Where are you?” I looked out the window of my car again and gripped my thighs, hoping to get my shaking legs under control.
When I’d opened my eyes this morning, two hours after Bennett had already left for work, and I realized it was too late to change my mind and tell him about my meeting with Ryder, a pit of nausea had formed in my stomach.
Not even Benny’s warmth from where he was curled up at my feet could soothe my nerves.
I wasn’t positive I’d get through this without throwing up at this rate. The thought of breaking my bond with Ryder and not knowing how my body was going to react made me nervous.
I should have told Bennett what I was doing.
If it makes me sick, he’s going to be pissed that he’s not here to take care of me.
Oh shit, what if I hurt him? What if he thinks I was keeping something from him?
You are, Felix.
Oh fuck, I need to get this over with.
I checked my phone again, cursing the lack of a message from Ryder.
He better not chicken out on me.
A gentle tap on the passenger window caught my attention and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Ryder’s bald head. I unlocked the car and he opened the door, one hand still tucked into the pocket of his leather jacket.
“You’re late,” I said. “And why did you want to do this here? Isn’t it a little morbid to break our bond in the same place where we shared our first kiss in high school?”
Ryder gave me a small smile. “I’m realizing I’m a bit of a masochist these days.”
“Well apparently I am too,” I said, shifting in my seat to turn toward him. “So how do you want to do this? I looked it up online, you just bite the same spot, right?”
“Yes, we’ll both feel the bond simmer between us and have to actively choose to break it with our minds. It’s not going to be easy or pleasant.”
The scent of vinegar filled the air. “Are you high right now?” I asked, leaning forward and sniffing him.
“No. I brought some for after though. It’s going to be fucking painful, and I’d rather not feel any of it.”
“I don’t want drugs,” I said, heart racing at the idea of being with him and so close to whatever he’d brought.
“I know that, Felix. I’m not going to fuck with your sobriety, okay? I’m also not going to join you in it because, believe it or not, I still like being high better than not being high. So, let’s just get this over with so we can both move on with our lives.”
“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. I glanced at my phone one more time.
I really should have told Bennett about this.
I’m so sorry, Bennett. I promise I’ll never hide anything again.
Ryder took my hand and I flinched, pulling back.
“Seriously?” he snarled.
“You startled me.”
“Mhm,” he said. “More like I disgust you now. Come here.”
He pulled on my arm, and I moved to the edge of the seat and tipped my head to the side to expose my neck. The neglected bond hummed between us. It had been three years since we’d been near each other like this, and it felt like the bond was trying to wake up after a period of hibernation.
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye as he hesitated.
“Please, Ryder,” I said.
He took a deep breath and moved closer, his breath warm on my neck.
“Felix,” Ryder said, voice tight. He hovered over my scent gland, breathing in and out slowly.
“What?” I asked, meeting his eyes.
His gaze pierced mine, and the look on his face was one that I hadn’t seen in so long I’d almost forgotten it existed.
It was genuine affection.
He shook his head. “I can’t do it. I can’t let you go. And if this is the only way to get you back, then I’m so sorry. You may not need me anymore, but I still need you.”
My heart rate kicked up. “What are you talking ab—”
The sharp sting of the needle made me gasp and I looked down, watching in horror as Ryder injected my left arm with the heroin he’d brought. Warmth flooded my body as the drug flowed through my veins, the instant euphoria mixing with despair making me dizzy.
“Why did you do that?” I asked.
“Because you were wrong. We did love each other, and I know you can love me again.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head as I leaned back in my seat, resting against the headrest. “No. Bennett. I need Bennett. Call Bennett, please. Please, I need my alpha.”
“I can be your alpha again, Felix,” Ryder said, leaning over me. “I can, I promise I can. You always loved me most when you were high.”
Tears rolled down my face and my limbs grew heavy. “No. Only Bennett. He’s the one.”
My eyelids were too heavy to keep open.
I’ll close them for a minute and then I can call Bennett.
“What the fuck are you doing?” a male voice said. “Why is he still alive?”
“Because I’m not going to kill him, okay? I don’t need to be promoted or what the fuck ever, I just want Felix back.”
Am I dreaming?
I turned my head to the side and parted my eyelids just enough to see a man whose face I couldn’t make out arguing with Ryder. He leaned over Ryder. “Did you bring enough to kill him like you were supposed to?”
“Yes, but I’m not doing it,” Ryder said. “Just let us be. I’ll take him away. We’ll leave you and Vargkung and everyone else behind and we won’t be a problem.”
Vargkung? Are they even speaking English anymore?
The man laughed. “You’re a fucking moron if you think that’s an option. Why do you think I’m here?”
He reached into Ryder’s pocket and fought him until he finally pulled another needle out of Ryder’s jacket and tossed Ryder from the car.
“Who are you?” I slurred.
“The person sent to clean up his mess,” he said. He picked up my left arm and pressed the needle to the same spot where Ryder had just injected me.
“Too much,” I whined. “Bennett, please. Get Bennett.”
“Don’t worry, Felix.” The man injected the drug, and the scent of bleach overwhelmed me. “It’ll all be over soon. Sleep tight.”
My eyes fell shut again and a door slammed.
There’s a needle in my arm still. I should take it out.
I hovered between consciousness and total darkness until the feeling of being crashed into by something huge knocked me out completely.