Chapter 42
Chapter
Forty-Two
One month later
CASSIDY
I think I may throw up. I’m sitting in the waiting room of a gynecologist's office, trying not to have a panic attack. I’m the one who’s always cool as a cucumber in stressful situations, but I can’t keep it together. Fuck, what if I’m not really pregnant?
Or worse, what if I am?
I’m not sure what I’ll do with the soul crushing happiness if I am. It doesn’t feel real yet.
“Up you go,” Abbott murmurs against the shell of my ear. “Your foot won’t stop bouncing, and we can all feel and smell your anxiety. Come with me.”
Nodding, I stand up and follow Abbott to the stairwell.
The gynecologist office is in a separate building from the main hospital, on the third fucking floor.
Did I mention that the elevator is also out?
Ansel gave Winter a piggyback ride up the stairs, while I was just grateful my ribs don't twinge with every movement anymore.
“Talk to me,” Abbott murmurs, caging my body against the wall for privacy. It’ll also protect me from the door if someone slams it open.
I doubt that’ll happen here, but my mind goes to weird places.
“What if I’m not pregnant,” I say bluntly, gazing into his brown eyes.
“Then we’ll figure it out,” he replies. “You’re borrowing trouble when you haven’t had a period yet, no cramping, nothing to suggest there’s anything amiss.
Let yourself just be until we need to make a decision or face a future we wish was different.
You’re your own worst enemy, baby. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out together, okay? ”
“Yeah,” I sigh, lifting one arm to loop around his neck.
“Good girl,” he praises, making my cheeks heat and my pussy clench.
My sex drive is coming back with a vengeance and I don’t know how to feel about it.
“Hmmm. That’s something you never have to worry about,” he murmurs, dragging his nose up my throat. “If your pussy is wet and needy, I’ll eat you out until you scream. Anything else, you merely have to ask for. You’re in charge.”
“Am I?” I breathe, biting my lip.
“Oh yeah,” he says, kissing me behind the ear. “If you need to fuck me, I’m yours, baby. I don’t want to push, but I also don’t want to hold you out of arm’s reach. We did that for too long.”
He’s right. Breathing in his amber scent, I smile at how understanding he is. That’s Abbott for you though.
“I think I want to,” I admit. “I need to feel in control, but I don’t want to be set apart. I miss our connection there.”
“Everything was okay when you went to the doctor,” he muses. He drove me in for a follow up to check my vaginal and anal tearing.
“Anal is off the table for another month at least,” I admit. “The doctor cleared me for sex whenever I’m ready for it.”
“Then the ball is in your court,” he says simply.
The door opens slowly, and Shiloh pops his head out.
“Good pep talk?” he asks, smirking. “The nurse just called for you and Winter to go back.”
Taking a breath, I nod, and Abbott kisses my temple as he takes my hand and we walk inside. This practice is very open to letting packs go in together, which is why we’re here. We refuse to be separated for any amount of time while we’re here.
Greig and Henri are standing by the elevators, attempting to look inconspicuous, but that’s difficult when they’re such big men.
Winter and the guys stand as they see me, and we greet the nurse at the door before walking inside the inner sanctum of the practice. Winter gets weighed first, while I sigh when I realize that I have weapons on me.
I don’t like to go anywhere unarmed anymore, but I should have thought about this.
“Give it to me, baby,” Abbott teases, making me roll my eyes.
“I think that’s why she’s here,” the nurse smirks as I giggle.
“Ugh. Please don’t think badly of me for this,” I grumble. I’m wearing a two piece skirt set, and there’s a slit up the right side for my gun. Turning to the side, I twitch the slit open and unwrap my holster with my gun and hand it to Abbott.
Taking off my purse, I hand it to Shiloh’s outstretched hands, and then remove a knife and a taser from my pockets and hand it to Ansel. They all grin from ear to ear, amused as I sigh and turn toward the nurse.
While she raises her brows at my haul, she just shrugs.
“I’m kind of impressed that you managed to get all of that into such a cute outfit,” she says, amused. “Up you go.”
Stepping up onto the scale, I wait for her to log my weight down, and then step back down.
“This way, please,” the nurse says. “I’m Shirley, and I just need to get a little more information before the doctor comes in.”
Winter and I link our fingers together nervously as we follow the nurse. I’m still anxious, but I know that Abbott is right. Whatever happens, happens.
I can’t change anything at this point.
The nurse gets us all comfortable in the large room, and then takes Winter and my blood pressures. She also asks a few more questions about medical history that seems pretty standard, and then she asks who wants to have their abdominal ultrasound first.
“Cass?” Winter asks.
It hits me like a ton of bricks that I’m not the only one nervous.
“I’ll go,” I offer quietly.
“Perfect, hop right up on the table and I’ll be right back with the doctor,” the nurse says, taking her chart and walking out.
Standing, I make a face at the tall table. Hopping on that thing is gonna suck. Isn’t there a step or some shit?
“Baby, you know I got you,” Ansel chuckles, his arms around me. “Fuck, shouldn’t there be a step?”
The words mirror my thoughts, and I squeeze his arms with a laugh.
“Right? Ugh, the stitches are out, but my ribs hate me for certain things,” I groan.
“How are you going to fuck me if your ribs still hurt?” Abbott asks.
“It’s odd because I think I’d be fine with that, but hopping up is on my ‘fuck off’ list,” I explain.
“Wait, you’re going to fuck Abbott?” Winter asks.
Turning me in his arms, Ansel puts his hands on my hips and lifts me easily.
“Possibly,” I say coyly with a smile.
“Can I watch?” Winter asks with wide eyes.
It’s cute how excited she is about it.
“I don’t see a reason why not,” I say honestly.
A knock at the door signals the end of my mommy domination, and the doctor steps inside, stopping as she sees all of us.
“Hello,” she says. The doctor has short, curly hair, tanned skin, and light wrinkles across her skin. She’s a Latina woman with glasses and I’d place her as being in her early sixties. “I’m Dr. Ramirez. We have a full house today, I see. Any nerves in the room?”
Winter and I nod as she shuts the door behind her, a folder in her hand as walks to a little swivel chair in the corner.
“That’s normal,” she says. “There are so many emotional butterflies around babies and pregnancy. You’re Cassidy, right?”
“I am,” I say, swinging my legs up carefully onto the table and laying back. It doesn’t hurt, I simply am so used to being in pain, my default is to be cautious.
“I’m going to fold your shirt up and tuck your skirt down so I can access your abdomen,” she says, washing her hands before she pulls on a pair of gloves.
Sitting down on her chair, she wheels over to where her cart is tucked out of the way before stopping next to me. Dr. Ramirez glances at me for consent, waiting until I give it before she pulls up my shirt to my bra line and tucks down my skirt.
The ugly pattern of my knife wound sits on stark relief along my skin and her gaze remains there for a moment. Kind caramel eyes fly up to mine, and I can read the concern there.
“I’m fine now,” I reassure her. “I had emergency surgery six weeks ago. That’s how they found out I was pregnant.”
“I see. You haven’t had any vaginal bleeding or cramping, right?” she asks, picking up a squeeze bottle. When I shake my head she relaxes slightly. “Okay, this is KY jelly. It’s been warmed up, so it shouldn’t be too cold.”
Upending the bottle, she squeezes lightly, making sure there’s enough on my stomach before she exchanges the bottle for a wand.
“This is going to be how we hear the baby’s heartbeat,” she explains. “Don’t be surprised if it takes me a second to find it. The baby is tiny and will often play hide and seek. As they develop, they have less room and can’t escape me.”
I huff out a laugh as she winks at me, finding myself relaxing as she turns on the machine and begins to run it over my abdomen. Anticipation builds in the room until Bellamy can’t take it and moves behind me. Lifting my hand I let him take it while the doctor continues to move the wand.
“Hmm,” Dr. Ramirez says, adjusting her glasses as she thinks. “Can you turn to your side, please? I’d ask you to arch back but—”
“My bruised ribs would hate that,” I admit.
The skin along my abdomen is shades of green, and I know that she can see it all. Dr. Ramirez glances over her shoulder, her eyes dropping to the gun and holster in Abbott’s lap.
“This is hers,” he says, shrugging. “Cass can beat me up any day of the week, and regularly spars with me when she’s not injured. She got hurt saving both herself and our omegas from a really fucked up situation. I swear on my life we aren’t a threat to her.”
Satisfied, she nods, turning back to me.
“Had to be sure,” she mumbles, watching as Bellamy helps me turn to face her. As if by magic, when Dr. Ramirez begins to move the Doppler machine over my skin, the whooshing sound changes to a heartbeat.
“Is…” My eyes get glassy as I listen in shock, and Bellamy’s hand on my shoulder squeezes it.
“Wow,” he whispers.
“That’s your baby,” she says with a grin. “You’re a playful one, aren’t you, Little One? I knew you’d let me find you if I was patient.”
The easy way she talks to my baby fills me with emotion, and I find myself quietly sobbing. Bending down until his lips are at my ear, Bell whispers, “It’s real now. You can enjoy it, baby.”