23. Maisie
maisie
“This is Hamish, he’s the sweetest little baby boy on the whole planet,” Birdie says as I pet the soft Highland cow.
I hadn’t given animals much thought until recently. There wasn’t any time to take care of a pet or consider one, but now I can see how soothing they can be for people.
Honestly, I missed Fergus today. He might drool on me and sniff my crotch, but he was honestly a better seat mate than that Alpha today.
“So…this is where you’ve been spending your time?” I ask softly.
“Yeah. It’s pretty amazing isn’t it?”
“Callum’s brother, Arran, and?”
“Jamie,” she says dreamily. “He owns this place. Arran and Graham help him keep it running. I love it here.”
I swallow thickly and nod. “I can see why Mom always wanted us to come here.”
Birdie gives me a sad smile as I bring our mom up. “Me too. What about you? Just out on a workday with our road side, Scottish knight?”
Petting the cow grounds me as I clear my throat and look at Birdie. “Please don’t be mad.”
“Why would I be mad?
There’s a thick patch of grass I stare at while I speak.
“They fired me last week. They gave some bullshit excuse of needing someone different on the project, but I know it’s because I’m an Omega.
I started taking higher grade suppressants so I could ward off my quarterly heat leave for them.
I nearly let this trip that meant so much to Mom, so much to us, pass me by because I was so focused on work.
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when it happened.
It’s just…I’ve been on your ass so much about having a steady job. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”
Birdie doesn’t answer. Both of us are nearly leaning against the cow as she wraps me in her arms and squeezes me tight.
“I’m so sorry they did that, Maisie. I know how much you loved your job.”
An embarrassing sniffle escapes me as I hold her even tighter. “I should have told you instead of letting my pride get in the way. We could have been spending more time together.”
Birdie pulls back and gives me a smile. “We still have plenty of time. We have this weekend together, and honestly Maisie, I think we’re both finding peace here in our own way.”
Gingerly, I take my glasses off and thumb away some tears there.
“Speaking of which, um…how do I stop myself from having feelings and just enjoy having sex with someone?”
“Oh, Maisie,” she says, hugging me again. “I don’t have a fucking clue.”
I tell Lain to do the rest of the tour without me, and Birdie gives me a private tour of the farm. I meet all the guys, well, Graham and Arran for the second time. Watching them interact makes my chest ache because I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Birdie this happy.
Each of them seems completely infatuated with her, even the quiet Alpha, Jamie.
When it rolls into dinner time, Greer is set to pick me up. I wait outside with Birdie and Graham, who treats my sister like she’s the sun and he’s just in her orbit. How can two siblings be so different?
“Are we all ready to head out for Oban tomorrow night? I promise to not be in your way. Birdie said you all were going and I have some business out there,” he says.
“Yes, I’m all ready,” I say, just glad that I don’t have to drive.
“I can come back to the room tonight,” Birdie says and I shake my head. She seems happy here and honestly, I miss Greer.
“No, I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I tell her as Greer pulls into the drive with his truck.
Birdie gives me a hug and I hold her tight.
This weekend we can talk more about what’s going on with our love lives.
I’m just glad that everything is more or less on the table.
We’re going to spread some of Mom’s ashes and really talk while we’re on the coast. At least I’m not carrying around this guilt anymore.
Greer gets out of the car, and gives Graham a clap on the shoulder and my sister a smile, before he looks down at me worried.
“Ready to go, sweet girl?” he says and I give him a tight nod.
He places a hand at my back and leads me to the car, where he opens the passenger door and I scoot in. Once he’s in the driver’s seat, he looks at me with concern.
“Is everything alright?”
I shake my head no. “Can you take me somewhere pretty?”
“On it,” he says, a large, comforting palm on my thigh as he drives us some distance. Until he parks the truck, the sun is setting, casting a moody autumn glow over the hills and loch below.
“What’s—”
Greer doesn’t finish his question as I nearly fling myself onto his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him tight.
How do I say that this was all the worst idea and the best idea all at once? How do I say that I’ve never felt this safe in a man’s arms before?
Greer holds me tight, the right amount of pressure I need as I nestle my nose against the crook of his neck. His body is so warm, big, and just perfect.
There’s a brief scent coming off him and I want it so bad, it’s like a craving, but when I inhale again, it isn’t there.
His chest is purring, and it’s so soothing. I feel like I could get lost in the comfort of this Alpha, and isn’t that just complicated? I’ve never sought comfort from anyone else. It’s always been on me to make me feel better. What if I could have this all the time?
What if I wasn’t this lonely person pretending to have their shit figured out anymore?
“What’s wrong?” I stubbornly shake my head. “Okay,” he just says, holding me in the silence for a long time. He rubs up and down my back and doesn’t ask me to get off or demand I tell him what’s going on.
When I pull back, still straddled over his legs, he cups the sides of my face, his callused thumbs rubbing against my jawline.
“You could stay longer, you know? If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your return date, you could stay longer and figure out if maybe this is where you belong.”
“What?” I croak, my throat getting kind of tight.
This was supposed to just be a vacation, a trip to celebrate Mom’s life, to get closer to Birdie. I still have an apartment back home, and…well, I guess all I have is an apartment. Staying is irrational right? You shouldn’t make massive decisions in the wake of grief?
“Don’t freak out, okay, breathe. We can pretend I didn’t ask.”
“Why did you ask?” I ask sheepishly.
“Because the thought of this ending makes me sick. I knew it wouldn’t be easy on me, that we probably should have never started this up, but I couldn’t help myself.
I’m so drawn to you, Maisie. I don’t see how the rest of the month is enough.
Fuck, I don’t see how the rest of our lives could even be enough. ”
My body literally jolts back and my ass hits the horn.
“We barely know each other,” I whisper, though I feel the same way he does, but saying it outloud is a whole other thing.
“Tell me you don’t feel even a little the same way and I’ll drop it.”
I lick my lips and stare at him. How is he so beautiful, so understanding, and gentle with me?
“I can’t,” I rasp out and Greer slides me back to a position where he’s holding me.
“I won’t bring it up again for now, but just think about it, okay? Take the weekend with your sister, see how she’s feeling. She’s getting rather close to the guys at the cow farm, so maybe she feels the same way.”
“I’m not a spontaneous person.”
Greer laughs, jostling me on his lap. “Good. I want this to be a decision you’re sure of.”
He holds me again for a long time as the sun goes down. There’s nothing sexual about this moment, and it just makes my heart ache even more. What would a life in Chicago look like after getting to know Lain and Greer? Even more so, what if Birdie wants to stay?
We can only stay here unbonded for six months at a time.
Fuck.
Bonding.
I’d genuinely never considered it. I wasn’t the type of Omega who daydreamed of a pack doting on her, or the connection that a bond could bring, but as Greer holds me with no intention other than to show me affection and calm my nerves, I let myself truly consider it for the first time.
What could a life with Lain and Greer look like? Would I ruin their pack with Callum? Or could it be amazing, and could I really leave my whole life behind like it didn’t exist?
“Don’t stress, okay? I’ve got you.”
The crazy thing? I believe him wholeheartedly.