Chapter 22
Ethan
I felt like a fucking arsehole.
Nadia looked so small in that office. Her sweats swamped her, but it was more the way she shrank back in her chair that gave me that impression. So walking away from her made me feel like crap. I should’ve been there, clustering in close, holding her hand, doing something.
But that was the thing a man did for his mate, and that wasn’t me.
Walking up to our front door alone felt freaking weird.
The place almost echoed as I got inside.
Usually it was filled with the sound of Tex and Grey bickering about some bullshit.
Instead, it was just me. Just me grabbing their suitcases out of the shed, then braving their rooms. Socks, jocks, shorts, t-shirts, I grabbed stuff at random from their drawers.
Grey’s room was like a military barracks; everything placed in neat rows in his drawers.
Tex… I shook my head and picked up half a dozen smelly clothes off the floor and shoved them in a washing basket, knowing I’d need to put a load on, before trying to sort out what I could pack for him.
Doing the sniff test of your friend’s clothes? 10/10 do not recommend.
Once that was done, I paused, looking down at my phone to see if Nadia had texted through a list of things she wanted. Why did I feel a pang when I didn’t see a message waiting for me?
Because you walked out on her when she was facing something really hard, my mind supplied for me helpfully. Because you left her alone in that place, without an explanation or anything.
But what the fuck was I supposed to say?
Hey, I’m enough of an alpha to get myself in trouble, but not so much to be of any use to you?
That I remember just how nice those suites are.
Me and my mum had stayed in them when they first discovered I was a latent.
Those soft grey walls, surround sound TV set up and gaming consoles did little to alleviate the misery that came afterwards.
My bones breaking, muscles and ligaments snapping and then reverting back, over and over before…
Chest heaving, I was breathing too damn fast and that was a problem.
Staying chill meant no agonising shift, so I focussed on my breathing for a second until whatever the fuck was pacing inside me finally went still.
It was then I shot off a message, because if I couldn’t do anything else for Nadia, I could at least bring her stuff to her.
Thanks, she replied, and I watched the little dots dance as she typed more. Helena’s my best friend and she’s got a key. If you could grab the bag she packs, that would be amazing.
You got it, I replied, wheeling the bags towards the front door and then piling them into the car.
“So, which one are you?”
When I knocked on Nadia’s front door, a woman with keen eyes opened it, then looked me up and down.
“Ah, Ethan.” I held out a hand and her eyebrow rose slowly before she took it. “Nadia asked me to grab her bag?”
“You don’t sound totally sure about that.
” With a nod, she gestured for me to follow her inside.
“I’m still packing so you can come and give me a hand.
” Pulling open drawers, she placed items far more neatly in the bag than I had managed for the guys.
“Nadia didn’t want you to have to go through her underwear drawer…
” Helena did just that, then pulled a wand vibrator free with a smile.
“That’s probably why. Not sure why she’s getting all modest now.
From what she told me, you know your way around one of these. ”
I stared at the device as it landed in the bag, the white plastic stark against the clothes.
“Yeah.” I swallowed hard, remembering the fun we had and wishing we could’ve had more. “You could say that.” Looking up, my eyes met Helena’s steady stare. “So, was there anything else or—?”
“Yes.” To contradict her words, she zipped up the case, then went to hand it to me.
I stepped in, glad to take the burden for her.
“How come you’re here, when all the rest of the pack are at Crowe Corp?
” she asked, but before I could answer, she forged on.
“My bestie’s good enough to have hot monkey sex with. ”
“Monkey… sex?” I said.
“But when the going gets tough, the not so tough get going?”
I swallowed under her hard inspection. That faint curl of Helena’s lip I understood completely. If she was pissed, how did I…?
“The not-so-tough, get-the-fuck-out-of-the-way of the men destined to be your best friend’s mate,” I replied.
Apparently I had spoken the magic words to disarm Helena.
“You think I don’t want to be there? Don’t you think I wish my instincts were kicking in, making super clear Nadia belongs to me? I…”
Didn’t know what to say. It felt like the omega and I were complete strangers and utterly familiar, all at the same time. Like I knew how she sounded the moment her orgasm hit, but how she took her coffee?
I had nothing.
“That’s not how it works for me,” I replied. “I’m not the same as the others.”
“So how does it work for you?” She crossed her arms and gave me the kind of hard look Mum used to when she caught me slacking. “If you’re not going to get hit by a bolt of insta-love, how will you know if someone is the one you want to be with?”
I didn’t have an answer for her. Not in Nadia’s room, nor when I reached Crowe Corp and I used the supplied code to access the building and ride the elevator.
Instead, I tossed the question around and around inside my head, unable to just let it go unanswered.
It was still bugging me as I knocked on the suite door.
“Hey.” Grey stood there, eyes silver as he reached forward and grabbed the bags from me. “Thanks for doing this. Shit, I should’ve asked for my laptop—”
“In here.” I passed him the gym bag I had over my shoulder. “Your work phone, laptop, and your running gear are inside.”
“Thanks.” He paused for a second, searching my face but I didn’t know what. “I’m gonna have to reschedule the jobs we had booked for the next few weeks. You good with that?”
“Give them my phone number,” I said. “I can work out the details with them.”
Invite me in, I thought. Sit me down at the table and let’s talk about what we’re gonna do about this situation.
Together.
“If you’re OK with that?” I nodded despite myself. “That’d be super helpful.”
My ears picked up the muffled sound of a conversation being had inside the suite. They strained to hear what was being said, but that was Grey’s cue to pull back. “Well, thanks, Ethan. I would’ve sorted our bags, but the wolf had other ideas.”
Was it his beast that shut the door in my face or him?
I didn’t know. Instead, I just stared at the smooth painted surface for far too long before forcing my feet to move.
Down to the car park, then home again, I moved on automatic.
Once inside, I hung out the load of washing I put through, then flopped down in front of the TV, turning it on for background noise.
My phone in my hand, I scrolled and scrolled until my eyes hurt, never able to land on any post or video for long.
Because how the fuck was I supposed to focus on pretty girls, fitness advice, or funny shit when my mind was somewhere else?
How did I work out what I wanted? I still hadn’t come up with a satisfactory answer, but I did know this. Whatever was happening right now? That wasn’t it.
I went to bed way too late, only to be awoken by a phone call rather than my alarm.
“Ethan?” the masculine voice said down the line when I grunted my reply. “Haze Taylor. Mate, we need you to come in.”
“What?” Heart pounding, I sat straight up in bed. “What’s happened? How’s Nadia? She’s OK, right? She didn’t try to shift or anything? Tell me she didn’t.”
“She didn’t.” I didn’t need to see the alpha’s expression to know he was smirking. “But we’re doing a round of testing this morning to establish a baseline for everyone and we’d like you to come in.”
“Why?”
“Because while I acknowledge your situation is different, Riley’s insisting that we get baseline stats to create a biometric snapshot of everyone involved. You were in the room when Nadia’s omega nature was awakened, so we need you in for testing.”
“Right.” I rubbed my face, trying to force the sleep out of my eyes. “Gimme a sec to have a shower and I’ll be right there.”