Chapter 26
Ethan
“Well, this is awkward.”
The vibe in the elevator was weird. Nadia’s scent was one part sweet, one part sour, and I could guess why. That look of surprise, quickly stifled, had me smiling as I turned towards her.
“Look, I’ve always called a spade a spade,” I continued. “No point bullshitting around, pretending like it isn’t super uncomfortable hanging out with a former friends-with-benefits partner.”
Her eyebrow rose slowly.
“Something you’ve had to deal with before, I assume?”
Nadia didn’t need to know that it really hadn’t happened that often. I felt something in my chest, an ache, but there was a bittersweet edge to it. That I’d miss her, not just the sex, but then I realised if the guys played their cards right, I’d still be part of her life.
“Maybe,” I replied, then slung an arm around her shoulders. Why the fuck did that feel so right? “And maybe if friends with benefits is off the table, what about just friends?”
She gazed up at me through slightly narrowed eyes and I bore the inspection. With a nod, she returned my smile.
“Yeah, I think I’d like that.”
“Good. So, what have those idiots done so far? Lemme guess. Tex is all over you like the world’s biggest golden retriever, and when Grey isn’t walking around with resting bitch face, he’s barely restraining himself from marching over and marking you as his on the spot.”
I felt her snort as much as heard it.
“You’ve got Tex pegged. He’s super sweet and just a little suffocating, but after what feels like a lifetime of fuckboys and commitment phobes, it’s actually kinda nice.
” I couldn’t help but glance down as she sighed, wondering how the betas before us could be so stupid to let a girl like Nadia slip through their fingers.
If I… Nothing good could be found down that road.
“And Grey? I saw his wolf this morning.”
“Blackie?” I pulled away, making a show of inspecting her fingers. “And you walked away in one piece? That beast is savage.”
“He seemed like a big puppy to me,” she said, squeezing my hands before letting go because the door had opened. “A really big, scary puppy, and did I tell you I’m a cat person? I gave him a scratch behind the ears that he seemed to like.”
“Tell me you got his back leg working?” I asked, following her out into the cafeteria, mimicking the movement dogs make when you hit the good spot.
“Something to aim for,” she said as we lined up to look at all the items for sale. “Goddess, this stuff looks good.” Did Nadia know how cute she looked, standing there, fingers wriggling, like a kid in a candy shop? “I’m so freaking hungry, I don’t know what to pick.”
“High fibre carbs.” I grabbed a multigrain chicken and salad sandwich.
“Protein in the chicken and cheese and some veg for vitamins.” A glance her way.
“You’ll burn through them if you…” Suddenly there was a lump in my throat.
“When you go into heat. Calcium.” I held up a fruit-sweetened yoghurt, then snagged a chocolate bar. “And something for pleasure, too.”
“Yeah, that works. Shit!” Her smile faded. “I didn’t bring my wallet.”
“I’ve got it, omega.” Steering her towards the hot food, I leaned over and grabbed a couple of bacon and egg rolls for myself.
“Happy to provide for my mate…” Shit. Shit, shit, shit, it was back to being awkward.
“Mate-in-law?” I suggested. Her quizzical look had me digging myself deeper. “Mate = friend.”
“You can call me whatever the hell you like if it means I get something to eat,” she said, leading the way to the cashier. The woman there rang the lot up, leaving us to turn around and find a table in the busy cafeteria.
There were families everywhere. Alpha dads wearing baby carriers, their chubby cheeked kids waving their arms around.
Omega mums lecturing sons on the benefits of eating their greens as well as the meat in front of them.
Alphas crowding around their mate, watching every mouthful until she pushed the closest one’s shoulder.
An omega resting his head on his mate’s shoulder, looking impossibly tired.
All the reasons why I avoided Crowe Corp wherever possible.
When I was a kid going through the therapeutic interventions that would allow me to shift for the first time, this place was like a dream of the future.
It wasn’t hard for me to imagine me, Tex, and Grey in the place of those grown men, though our girl’s face was a mystery then.
I winced, forcing myself to smile to cover it, because that visualisation was now completely fleshed out.
There was just no place in it for me.
That didn’t stop me from stepping forward and pulling out a chair for Nadia.
That, of course, destabilised the tower of food I was carrying, so I was forced to drop it onto the tabletop.
The salt and pepper shakers in the middle nearly tipped over, but I managed to set them back on the table, then parcel out the food.
“Nailed it!” I announced.
The omega laughed at that, and for just a second, I let myself feel a flush of pleasure.
That was enough to have me sitting down and unwrapping the first of my rolls.
Best bacon and egg rolls in the city, I thought furiously.
Focus on that. Of course, Nadia had to pull her sandwich from the plastic box and take the first bite.
Protein and bread turned to a thick gloop in my mouth, unable to be chewed or swallowed as she made a small sound of pleasure. That little shimmy had my entire attention. Something paced inside me, whining, scratching, wanting out, but then she looked up.
“What?” Her hand went to her chin. “Do I have something on my face?”
“Um… yeah.”
No, she fucking didn’t, but that didn’t stop my thumb reaching out, tracing the shape of her lips before pulling away.
I sucked it clean, despite the fact there was nothing there.
Just tasted salt, egg, and her. It was now I kicked past me’s butt for jumping into bed with an omega that would never be mine, because I knew all Nadia’s tastes.
Silence reigned until we finished off our food, then she sat back, patting her stomach with a groan.
“Now I feel almost human again.” She frowned. “Wolf? Human? What is the correct term?”
“You’re asking me?” I collected up all of our wrappers and walked them over to the bin, then sat down again.
“It’s whatever the hell you want to use.
So…” If I was truly her friend, I needed to ask this, so my elbows hit the table as I leaned closer.
“How do you feel about the possibility of turning into a wolf?”
“People just keep asking me that question.” Her eyes went to the table, her whole body stiffening. Head shaking from side to side, she finally looked up. “I don’t know what they want me to say.”
There was fear in her gaze, but that wasn’t all of it. The set of her jaw, the way her eyes started to bleed silver made clear she was a little pissed as well. Good. She’d need that to shift for the first time.
“The truth.” Nadia snorted at that. “Hey, think of it this way.” My palm flattened against the tabletop, lest I reach over and take her hand.
“You don’t owe me anything. Not soft words, or polite displays of emotion.
If anyone has any clue about what you’re going through, it’s me.
Nadia…” Claws dug into the laminated wood.
“Whatever messy shit you’re feeling, you can tell me.
I won’t tell the guys.” Hand went to my heart. “Promise.”
“Right, well…” Her focus shifted to the room around her.
“It feels… like I’m being punished. Like I asked for what I wanted and got it, so that means I had to pay for that.
Why couldn’t it just be simple? Why couldn’t we just have a bit of fun?
” When her voice cracked, I did grab her hand, and she gripped it tight.
Claws pricked my palm and those small points of pain kept me anchored right here in this moment.
“Why am I…?” She swallowed hard. “Why am I facing the possibility of being trapped midway through an agonising shift or possibly death? It’s not fair. ”
The minute she broke, I was out of my seat and standing before her.
Nadia wasn’t my mate but only a fucking arsehole would leave her to deal with this shit on her own.
I pulled her into my arms, held her tight and for just a second, felt how our bodies slotted perfectly together, then it was all about her.
Rubbing circles on her back, stroking her hair as I felt her claw at my chest.
“It’s not, love. It’s really fucking not.
But I have to believe that you are fated to be with Grey and Tex for a reason.
That whatever divine forces bring you together.
” I pulled back, stroking a thumb under reddened, yet dry eyes.
“They’ll get you through what’s to come and then you’ll have a whole life of Tex shadowing you and Grey ready to tear the face off any man that dares to look your way. ”
What I didn’t say was that fate was a fickle bitch. That she’d put me through the agony of a partial shift, left me terrified I’d never cross over into wolf form or revert back to human, but the worst pain?
Was letting me get close to Nadia, only to have the fact she would never be mine thrust right in my face.
My phone buzzed so that had her pulling away, and when I looked down, I saw there was a message from Tex.
“Looks like Riley wants to have a chat,” I told her. “I’ll walk you to her door.”
“You don’t need to.” A rub of her eyes and then Nadia was smiling again. “But…” Her hand landing on my arm set my whole body on fire. “Thanks for lunch and the chat. You give good hug.”
My wolf paced inside me, back and forth, back and forth, not pausing until she stepped into the lift and that was my cue. Go home, hold down the fort until the guys were through this, so that’s just what I did.