Chapter 39
Ethan
“We fucked up.” I looked around at the other guys, because somehow that was easier than staring at Nadia.
We’d talked about this in detail after she left the room.
Part of me was sure she’d never walk through that door again.
The other part figured she’d never want to give us a second chance after what went down.
“I should’ve told you how I felt rather than sat and watched TV. ”
I glanced meaningfully at Tex. Do not fuck this up, I thought furiously.
“I believed…” he told our omega. “I wanted to believe that your first shift would be a simple thing. It was for me.” His hand went to the back of his neck as he smiled sheepishly.
“I know, I’m an idiot.” A glance my way had him smiling ruefully.
“Part of me just couldn’t believe what Riley and the team were saying, because fate brought us together.
It’s since been made clear to me that a ‘she’ll be alright’ attitude isn’t a bad thing when fishing or going camping—”
“You like to fish and go camping?” Nadia said. “Does your dating profile have pictures of you holding up a fish?” I smothered a snicker, because it would’ve if Tex’d bothered to make one. “Ew.”
“But if I’m going to be the alpha you need, I have to step up and help you through this process,” he said, staring at his mate.
“I need to learn a lot more about what being a latent means. I’m gonna listen, Nadia, to you, to Ethan, to Riley, to anyone who will sit down and talk to me about this situation.
If there’s a way to help you through this process, or just be less of a useless prick, I’ll find it. ”
With a snort, I shook my head, because this was peak Tex. His first instinct was to reach out to every contact he had.
Whereas Grey’s was to shut down completely.
If I was taking in the way his arms crossed his chest, the resting bitch face he was rocking, so was Nadia, and that had me letting out a small growl. He had to let his walls down, let her in, and—
“I told myself I was leaving to protect you,” he said.
“That was only half right. My wolf… he’s a lot harder to control than most. He saw you in pain, unable to move forward or back to skin, and he figured he knew exactly what to do.
Bite you.” Her eyes widened at that. “Claim you, despite what you might think about the matter. It’s why I kept my distance in the first place. He’s…”
When he looked down at his claw-like hands, we all saw the moment the wolf pushed forward.
Forearms thickening, shoulders bulking out as black fur covered it all, they were pushed back with an effort that had Grey panting.
My focus shifted abruptly to Nadia, wondering how she was taking this.
The fact she hadn’t run out the door meant I felt a tiny spark of hope.
“He’s a law unto himself. By leaving, I was protecting you from having a lifelong bond imposed on you.” I sucked in a breath, ready to interject, but Grey got there first. “That’s not enough. You deserve more.”
“I do.” Nadia didn’t sound entirely sure about that. “But I’d really like ‘more’ to not include being on the receiving end of your fangs.” Her hands landed on her stomach, obviously feeling something there. “I know I’m not ready to be tied to someone for life yet.”
Yet. I clung to the hope that one little word inspired.
“I want to get through my first shift successfully. I want to meet this whole other part of myself I didn’t know existed.
Not knowing the mate bond was there, Ethan?
I get it. The idea that you just know is wildly romantic in theory and kinda impractical in reality.
I get shifting was easy for you, Tex, but it’s obviously not for me.
And Grey? Knowing you were leaving to protect me would’ve been a whole lot easier to take than if I knew what was going on.
No one is expected to be perfect, but if you just talked to me… ”
When her hand went to her lips, I was moving forward. Without thought, I took her hand in mind, cradling it against my chest as she looked up at me.
“That’s my issue. I grew up in a house where no one said what they thought.
Whole conversations were had with a look, a sigh, but when you don’t say the words, no one can ever disagree with you.
They just have to take your shit.” She shook her head firmly.
“I’m not putting up with that as an adult. I’m not.”
My hand rubbed the back of hers.
“Then when I started having relationships, the same crap happened.” When I heard Nadia’s voice crack, the need to pull her closer was riding me hard, but I stayed where I was.
The others drew closer, encircling our mate as she forced the words out.
“I couldn’t ask for what I wanted,” she said.
“No, worse. I couldn’t say I didn’t like something, didn’t want to do that.
I couldn’t…” Her eyes shone not just silver, but with unshed tears as she looked up at us.
“I couldn’t say no. Instead, I just went along with things, trying to keep the peace, and each time it felt like I lost a part of myself.
Over and over until… until there was almost nothing left. ”
“If you don’t want this.” The wolf’s growl was in my voice. “Just tell me, but I… I really want to hold you now.”
“Please.”
“Don’t say it like that.” I surged forward and for just a second, my eyes fell closed as my arms went around Nadia.
Fuck, how the hell had I missed this? A feeling of complete rightness the moment I felt her head press it against my chest. “Like it’s a plea.
Trust me when I say that you are going to get all the hugs you could possibly want and more. ”
“Damn straight.” Tex got in on this, wedging our mate between us, then pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “You don’t even have to ask.”
“Communication is key, right?” We all turned at the ragged sound of Grey’s voice.
“That’s what you need, omega?” She looked up and nodded, watching him take one stiff-legged step forward, then another.
“Well, there’s nothing more I want than to get closer to you, to help you to feel better because I’m holding you, but…
” His hand rose in slow motion as he came to stand beside her.
If I watched its every move, so did Nadia.
“I’m fucking terrified of what will happen if I do. ”
“If you’re gonna bite me, then don’t.” Our mate stiffened in our grip. “I know I don’t want that right now.”
“You need me to stay in control. You need this.”
I let out a low hiss as Grey moved forward, his movements strange.
His hands cradled her face, thumbs brushing her cheeks, right before he moved to press his body against hers.
It was like a circuit had been completed and energy thrummed around the circle.
The only sound was everyone’s breathing as we experienced something I couldn’t quite put into words.
One long sigh, then all the tension leaving Nadia’s body meant we could finally step backwards.
“Yeah, I really needed that.” She looked impossibly tired as she scrubbed at her face. “More group hugs are definitely on the agenda going forward.”
That had me smiling, right before the reality of our situation came crashing back in.
“You’ll need them to get through your first shift,” I said.
“Because I think there’s something blocking you.
For me, it was the pain of shifting.” I took a shuddering breath, the memories of my first attempts to shift still able to be conjured with little effort.
“More pain than I’d ever been in before and so I fought it.
People kept telling me that if I just let it happen, everything would get better.
” I shook my head. “Try getting a teenager to understand that.”
“I’m not scared of the pain.” Nadia said that confidently, then frowned. “Other than some brief flashes, I don’t remember what it felt like.”
My eyes met those of the other guys over the top of her head. How could Nadia have blacked out what happened? She was screaming in agony.
We needed to find out, because I was pretty sure this was what was stopping her from shifting.
“Maybe I’m just too much of a latent.” She looked up at the three of us. “Riley said that might be an issue. If you want another mate—”
I pressed a finger to her mouth, because I couldn’t bear to hear the end of that sentence.
“Pretty sure I speak for all of us when I say we have everything we need right here.”
The small smile of hers helped lighten the pressure in my chest.
“We’re all communicating like grown ups.” Tex tilted her face his way. “Being clear on what we want. Now we need to go and get it.”
For once his boundless optimism was a benefit, not a burden, because in this moment, I could believe what he was saying was true.
“Tomorrow, I need to go out for a while,” Grey said and if I felt Nadia stiffen, so did he.
“I’ve gotta go and see my foster mother for a bit.
She’s the one that helped me get in control of the wolf in the first place, so I need to talk to her, find out how that happened, but right now…
” She let out a little yelp as he swept her into his arms. “You need some rest.”
The bedroom door was kicked open and as Grey carried her in, we followed.
“Did you want your nesting materials?” I asked, looking at the mass of blankets with a critical eye. “There’s some softer looking blankets on the couch.”
“Nope.” She plopped down on the bed, then patted the mattress beside her. “I think…” Nadia swallowed, then smiled. “I think I need you guys. Something inside me settles when you’re touching me.”
“The wolf knows who she belongs to,” Tex said, staring down at her with a heated smile.
“But not for sex.” Those words came out a little too fast. “I know I’m not up for that right now.” Her hands raked down her forearms. “I’m still a bit—”
“No need to explain.” I pulled my shirt up and over my head, then slipped my shoes off before sitting down on the bed beside her. “We’re here in whatever capacity you need.” Picking her up and laying her down on the massive bed, I curled up beside her, almost close enough to touch. “How’s this?”
“Good.” The sparkle was back in her eyes. “It’s good.”
“You heard the omega,” I said, eyeing the others.
Tex was like a kid on Christmas day, ripping his shirt and shoes off, ready to throw himself down beside Nadia, but somehow Grey got there first. A sly smile at Tex and then my pack mate was settling down behind Nadia.
The smile faded as he got closer. Nostrils flaring, Grey’s eyes were everywhere, trying to get a read on our mate, before he cleared his throat.
“Is this OK?”
“Mm… good.”
Her eyes closed as she nestled into my chest, so she missed the look of awe on Grey’s face, right before he snuggled in close.
“So I’m supposed to cuddle up to Grey?” Tex looked at the bed in horror. “Or Ethan? We need to draw straws or something, because this scenario sucks.”
“Shut up.” Grey and I smiled at each other over Nadia’s head because we’d said that at the exact same time. “Lie down and let our mate rest.”
We’d managed to fuck up everything today, but tomorrow? I’d work out what the fuck I could do to make this situation easier for Nadia and then I’d move heaven and earth to make that happen. With that vow, I closed my own eyes and let sleep take me.