Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
________
EVA
“They seem nice,” Esme said.
We followed the waitress to our table, and I elbowed her in the side. “You didn’t have to threaten them.”
“I’m sure you’ll threaten my pack if I ever find one.”
“You will find one,” I said. “You will. If it can happen like this, it can happen to anyone, anywhere. And… I can’t wait for it to happen to you, because this is honestly…
” I shook my head. “It’s a whirlwind and it doesn’t make sense.
Some people will look at it and call it crazy.
But it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. ”
“I’m happy for you,” she whispered. “I am. I promise.”
I pulled my chair in before I extended my arm across the table. “If I could have chosen for you to find your pack first, I would have. In a heartbeat. It doesn’t feel fair.”
Esme rolled her eyes. “Nothing is ever fair. We know that.”
“I know. I’m just saying I’m sorry that this might hurt for you to watch.”
She smiled sadly. “I’ll be okay. You know me. I’m always okay.”
That wasn’t true and we both knew it, but I let her use it as a way to change the subject.
“So tell me what happened. Everything. Before Mom gets here so you can tell me about all the sex without her fainting.”
I laughed and did just that.
Esme shook her head, grinning. “Does Mom know you’re actively in the process of moving in?”
“As far as I know, she doesn’t know anything.”
“You’ve been all over the press. She’ll have at least heard the rumors.”
“Yes.” I pointed my fork at her. “But there are rumors all the time about me and packs and people and actors. Even if she’s seen them, I doubt she’ll have believed it.”
“Do you want me to leave so you can talk to her alone?”
I frowned. “No, not at all. Unless you don’t want to be here. I’m not going to make you sit with Mom if you don’t want to.”
Esme smirked. “I’m hoping me being here will make her more amenable to skipping lunch on Saturday.”
“Good call.”
“Speak of the devil,” Esme said under her breath.
Our mother was headed toward us. She contrasted with the overly white and luxurious setting of Aurelia’s. The whole place looked like a wedding cake. It was over the top and not my favorite, but Mom loved it.
Probably because she’d come here a lot with our dad. This was where he proposed, in a private space with a candlelight dinner. Coming here made her feel like she was close to him. Which I understood.
I’d never seen my mother like she was in the days after Dad died. She disappeared into herself, and when she came back, she wasn’t the same. None of us would be, but I hadn’t seen any light in Mom’s eyes since the day he died.
She wore a black suit that was far too severe for her. In the circles our family ran in, it was still common to show a public sign of mourning. This wasn’t for show.
“Hi, Mom.” I stood and hugged her.
She held me close. “Hello, dear.”
Esme stood and hugged her too before she sat. “You’re back for a few months, right? You’ll have to start joining Saturday lunches again.”
I glanced at Esme and grinned. So much for skipping that. “Sure. I’ll do my best.”
“You looked so lovely at the show,” she said. “But I’m dying to know what you teased on stage. And you haven’t been answering my calls. If Esme hadn’t told me you were fine, I’d have called the police.”
Raising an eyebrow, I gave her a look. “And say what? That I was missing, but you had no idea where to look for me?”
“I like to think I would have been more creative than that, but yes.”
The three of us laughed, and I cleared my throat. My napkin was in my lap, giving me something to play with to calm my nerves. My mom would be happy, but Liam wasn’t wrong. They weren’t squeaky clean the way she would like.
We looked at the background checks together last night, laughing at some of the things there.
Tyler had a shoplifting charge from when he was a kid.
They’d all been caught in one compromising position or another with women.
There was nothing that bothered me. We all had pasts that no longer mattered.
But the file was in my bag, because I would need it.
“Actually, I called you to lunch to tell you why I haven’t been answering your calls. And yes, it’s also what I teased on stage.”
“Good news?”
The happiness surged up and through me so fast it stopped my ability to speak, breathe, and think.
“Yeah. It’s great news.” I took a slow breath.
“At the award show, while I was backstage, I scent-matched with a pack. We’re scent-sympathetic.
I went into heat because I’d just come off my suppressants from filming.
I was with them, and… occupied when you called. ”
Mom froze, staring at me. Then she broke into a smile and practically pulled me over the table to hug me again. “Oh, my sweet girl, I am so happy for you.”
“Thank you,” I managed. Hot tears filled my eyes. It was all overwhelming and I was so relieved. “It’s so fast, but I’ve never felt anything like it.”
When she pulled back, she ran her fingers under her eyes and wiped away tears and delicately dried her face with her napkin. “Now I know why you looked so happy during your speech.” She laughed. “Who are they?”
“Since you were watching the show. The band that played right after I presented that award? That’s them.”
“Oh.” Mom’s smile tightened, and I glanced at Esme, who winced in sympathy. “I’m sure they’re lovely.”
“They are.”
“We might have some work to do on the side of the media, of course, but we can make it work.”
Esme took a sip of water and shrugged. “I think it works perfectly for the media. You know how people are. Good girl and bad boys.”
“Not too bad, I hope.”
I reached into my bag and grabbed the folder. “You’ll probably ask Neil for it anyway, so here you go. It’s their background checks. There’s nothing in here that’s going to cause a problem. Or if someone tries, they really should find better things to do with their time.”
She took it and opened it, glancing through the files. Esme reached over under the table and took my hand. I squeezed, and she squeezed back.
“You’re scent-sympathetic?” Mom asked.
“When I went backstage I kept asking Jasmine to find out the flavor of scent canceller they were using, or what the incredible smelling candle was. It wasn’t either of those things. It was them. It’s like having your soul rewritten, and I have no regrets or questions.”
Closing the folder, Mom tucked it into her own bag. I was sure she would be looking over them in detail later. “I am happy for you.”
“Even if they’re a rock band?”
I saw the way she paused, fighting against her natural instinct. “Even if they’re a rock band.”
“You’re going to love them.” My smile felt fake because it was so wide, but it wasn’t. “I promise. You’ll have to meet them soon.”
“Bring them over for dinner,” she said, flagging down the waiter. “You let me know when works for you.”
“Done.”
Mom looked across the table at Esme. “Now we just have to find someone for you.”
I didn’t need to look to feel Esme’s walls building. “It’ll happen when it happens, Mom.”
“Of course. But neither of you are getting any younger. People will think it’s strange if you aren’t settled down soon.”
Esme downed the last of her water and stood. “I’m sure you’ll find someone, Mom. Talk to you later, Eva.”
She didn’t even hesitate as she walked away and out of the restaurant. I sighed, my chest aching. “You need to stop doing that, Mom.”
“Do what? Be honest?”
“You know perfectly well what. You’re pressuring her when she doesn’t need it. Esme will find love, but she’s not going to find it if you’re breathing down her neck and trying to force it. She doesn’t work like that.”
Mom sighed and unfolded her napkin with more force than necessary. “She makes things harder than they need to be. Stubbornness isn’t going to make her happy. And there are plenty of people who find love in arranged matches. She’s just trying to be difficult.”
“Have you considered that maybe she’s grieving just as much as you are?”
“That’s not possible.”
“Yes. It is. You know it is.” She said nothing, so I kept going. “The worst thing imaginable happened. You lost the other half of your life. And I get it, because I’m still grieving too. You’re holding on to everything you need to in order to feel normal.”
Mom came from money and old society where arranged marriages and careers made purely of donating to non-profits and charities were commonplace. My career scratched that itch for my mother because of the public relations aspect. She loved curating public image, and it was easy to do it for me.
Trying to break away from that image was an entirely different conversation.
Esme had never been interested in acting or the kinds of careers my mother admired. She’d always followed her own rhythm, just like our dad.
A sigh fell out of Mom as the waiter placed her salad in front of her. “Is that so wrong?”
“Of course not.” I softened my tone. “I’m not judging you for grieving.
But Esme is grieving too. You lost your husband, but we lost our dad.
I’m saying that you and Esme aren’t grieving the same way.
Pushing her into an arrangement purely so she’s not single is only going to make her push you away. That’s not what you want.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I worry about her being by herself. Even though you are— you were single, you’re surrounded by people all the time. She’s alone in that house, and I don’t think it’s good for her. Elias wouldn’t have wanted that. He would have known how to talk to her.”
“It’s not the end of the world if she’s single. I hope she won’t be, because I want her to be happy, but she’s never going to care enough about public perception to settle.”
Not for the first time, I wished Esme could see the softer side of our mother.
Even before Dad died they hadn’t been close.
They were so different that they clashed.
Friction had always been part of their relationship.
Mom did love her. She just had a hard time finding how to show her love in a way Esme could feel and appreciate. And vice versa.
“Well.” Mom straightened, and I knew talking about Esme was over. She smiled at me. “We’ll see what happens. Instead, tell me about these men.”
“They’re rock stars.”
She rolled her eyes. Something she almost never did, but was also something I’d only seen her do when she was happy. Not in the last year. “I know that. I’ll do my best not to judge. Yet.”
We laughed together.
If finding my pack put a crack in my mother’s grief, even one as small as this, it made everything better.
“They’re—” I sucked in a breath as my chest filled with that glow I never wanted to lose. “They’re perfect.”